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Author redrikki


Recent entries from The Redrikki Daily Argus - the blog of redrikki

NOTE: This blog has been rated FR18 by the author. Blog content is not moderated by TtH

Title: Good for Goodness Sake
Fandom: Ms. Marvel, Marvel Comics
Characters:Kamala Kahn, Bruno Carrelli, Nakia Bahadir, Doyle
Summary: It's hard enough being an American Muslim at Christmas time. Then the Inventor had to go and make it worse.

Ugh, Christmas
Posted: 13 Dec 14 00:01 • Comments
Dear Yuletide Writer,

Thank you for agreeing to write a story for me. This is my first time participating in Yuletide so I am super excited and hope I get this letter thing right.

Since you probably don’t know me, I guess I should tell you a little bit about my likes/dislikes.

Likes: I usually prefer gen, especially focusing on platonic and familial relationships. I’m interested in found families, biological families, younger siblings, sidekicks, clones with identity issues, friends who become lovers and friends who don’t. I like crossovers, daemon aus, outsider POVs, unreliable narrators, and women being well rounded human beings. I enjoy a good character study and have serious respect for ones with actual plot since that’s something I tend to struggle with. The thing I am really looking for in my Yuletide present is a nice kick in the feels.

Dislikes: I am not into romantic plots and tropes, or graphic sex. I’m not entirely opposed to romance, but I prefer it not to be the focus of the story (unless otherwise specified). I’m not a fan of alternate setting aus and I don’t really get a/b/o. I have a huge embarrassment/humiliation squick and have issues with infidelity, so please avoid those.

I’m not interested in anything seasonal or holiday-related.

Ms. Marvel: Kamala Khan, and anyone else

Crime fighting hijinx causes Kamala to blow her cover with a friend/family member/classmate. How does it happen? How does she react? How do they?

Ultimate Spider-man: Jessica Drew, Miles Morales, Gwen Stacy

I love Jessica and all her clone identity issues. I’d like to see her fighting crime and dealing with Peter-related issues with Miles. Something with her forming a relationship with someone from Peter’s life would also be cool. I’m up for pretty much anything Jessica-related.

Lantern Bearers: Flavia, Aquila, Mull

I’m ...
Posted: 19 Oct 14 11:23 • More • Comments
Title: Fingertips That Might Ignite
Fandom: Ultimate Spiderman (Marvel Comics)
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Peter's straight like a straight thing. Jessica isn't sure what she is.

The kiss is unbelievably hot
Posted: 14 Sep 14 21:36 • Comments
Title:Sweep, Stir, Sew
Fandom: Legend of Korra
Characters: Senna, Tonraq, Korra
Rating: PG
Summary: When your daughter is the Avatar, motherhood is the process of letting go.

Come down, child, from your gates and connections
Posted: 22 Aug 14 20:00 • Comments
Title: RPF
Famdon: Ms. Marvel, Marvel Comics
Character: Kamala Khan (Ms. Marvel)
Summary: The first time Kamala sees a fic with the new Ms. Marvel she squees so loud her mother comes running.

Posted: 14 Aug 14 21:58 • Comments
Title: Chips and Blocks
Fandom: Avatar the Last Airbender/ Legend of Korra
Rating: PG
Characters: Toph Beifong, Lin Beifong
Summary: Lin called Toph 'Chif' for years before some well-meaning busybody taught her to say 'Mom' instead. Toph isn't sure what kind of mom she is, but she knows which kind she doesn't want to be.

Lin grows up in Toph's office
Posted: 22 Jul 14 18:53 • Comments
Title: Bluestocking Girl
Fandom: Downton Abbey
Character(s): Edith Crawley, Crawley Family
Summary: Four books which didn't change Edith's life and one letter to the editor which did.

Bad enough you're such a bluestocking...
Posted: 12 Jul 14 19:43 • Comments
Title: And Everybody Used to Call You Lucky
Fandom: Ultimate Spiderman (Marvel Comics)
Rating: PG
Summary: Peter can afford to do the right thing but Jessica doesn't have that luxury.

Jessica wishes she were that broke.
Posted: 20 Jun 14 00:19 • Comments
Title: Dénouement
Fandom: Young Justice
Rating: PG
Characters: Lots
Summary: Dénouement - (1) End of the falling action to the actual ending of the narrative
(2) Catharsis and a release of tension

Tye Longshadow
Posted: 31 May 14 13:13 • Comments
Title: The Hedgehog's Dilemma
Fandom: Downton Abbey
Rating: PG-13
Characters: Thomas Barrow, Sarah O'Brien, Duke of Crowborough, Edward Courtney, Jimmy Kent
Summary: Daemon AU. Mind my spikes. Five warnings, four relationships and one revelation.

Mind my spikes
Posted: 31 May 14 13:09 • Comments
Title: Stop Clicking Your Red Heels
Fandom: Ultimate Spiderman (Marvel Comics)
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Jessica Drew takes a shower and her first steps into her new life.

Remember that movie? The one where the guy dresses up like a girls so he can infiltrate some club, get the job, win the bet or whatever? There’s probably a dozen of them so take your pick, really. They all have the scene where he faceplants trying to walk in heels and that heartwarming moment where he realizes that maybe sexism is kinda bad. There’s usually some girl who’s willing to overlook all the lying and cross dressing enough to hook up with him after the big reveal. Good times, right? Comedy gold.

That is not Jessica’s life.


Her first shower as Jessica Drew (as opposed to a gender-flipped Peter Parker knock-off) is at the Jamaica Armory woman’s shelter on 168th Street. She runs her soapy hands down her body, skimming across her breasts and down her flat stomach to tangle in her pubic hair. It’s not pervy. It’s her body and Peter touched his all the time. He marveled at his spider-given muscles and jerked-off to visions of Mary Jane. It’s not any different just cause she has lady parts.

She explores her folds. She’s intimately familiar with Peter’s body but doesn’t have the first clue about her own. Can girls even masturbate with just their fingers or do they need a vibrator or something? Jessica prods and strokes until she hits a spot that sends a zing straight through her whole body. Holy crap, was that her clit? Any chance of her finding that again?

“Come on, chica,” a woman complains from the other side of the shower curtain. “That’s your five minutes. Save some hot water for the rest of us.”

“Sorry, sorry.” Jessica hurriedly rinses off. She can’t believe she just did that. Even Flash Thompson isn’t dumb ...
Posted: 6 Apr 14 18:52 • More • Comments
Title: Damian Wayne: Gotham’s Youngest Man of Mystery
Fandom: DCU, Batman Comics
Characters: Damian Wayne, Bruce Wayne, OC
Summary: Despite being the son of one of Gotham's most prominent citizens, little is known about Damian Wayne. A Gotham Gazette reporter sits down with the family for an exclusive interview with the city's youngest man of mystery.

WHEN Bruce Wayne announced two years ago that he had fathered a child out of wedlock, reactions were mixed. No one was surprised that the notorious playboy had a love-child, but they were absolutely shocked to learned he’d managed to keep it a secret for nine years. Since then, Damian Wayne has been a regular presence at his father’s side at press conferences, events and fund raisers. Despite numerous public appearances, the boy remains a mystery. Who is his mother? Where did he grow up and where has he been for the past few months? I recently sat down in an exclusive interview with father and son and met the boy behind the mystery.

DAMIAN Wayne (11) is a small, solemn boy trailed by an enormous black dog named Titus and a more reasonably-sized tuxedo cat called Alfred. He apparently also has a pet cow but she’s not allowed in the house. He offers to introduce me later. “Damian likes animals,” Bruce explains. “He recently became a vegetarian.”

Even after introducing his son to the press, Bruce has shied away from any mention of his child’s mother. Damian strongly resembles his handsome father, but there is something exotic in the angle of his cheeks and the shape of his eyes. His skin is a gold-brown color which hints at Asian, or possibly even Hispanic, heritage. His accent is more British than American. Is his mother someone famous? A model or a starlet perhaps? Or is she simply a girl from the Wayne Enterprises mail room who caught the boss’s eye?

Like his father, Damian categorically refuses to discuss h...
Posted: 22 Dec 13 16:44 • More • Comments
Title: People Skills
Fandom: Legend of Korra
Rating: PG
Character: Bolin
Summary: Bolin’s not too smart but he’s good with people and he’s okay with that.
Disclaimer: Legend of Korra and its characters are the property of their creators and not me.

Bolin knew he wasn’t really all that smart. Maybe it was all those blows to the head or maybe it was because he’d spent, like, two second in school before his parents died. Either way, he wasn’t too bright and he was okay with that. Sure, he’d never solve crime like Mako or come up with crazy brilliant ideas like Varrick, but he couldn’t exactly bend like the Avatar either. Everyone had their talents and Bolin’s was people. Not knowing which ones were bad for him, he was terrible at that, but making them like him.

It sounded kind of lame, but it was a good skill to have. Back when they were kids and they had to steal and run numbers so they could eat, Bolin had figured out that if he smiled the right way or did the thing where he made his eyes super big and quivered his lip a little people would just give him stuff. When Mako had gotten sad or had a nightmare, Bolin could always make him laugh and things would be okay again. In the arena, Mako and Korra had been amazing, but Bolin was the one fans loved. He gave them a show and signed all his autographs with a sketch of Pabu’s face and they just ate it up. Even now, after losing all those times, people still chanted his name just for sayingfans and Republic City and it’s great to be back.

And it was great, being back. Sure, the little family he had built around himself was falling apart, but that was normal right? People in families did their own thing all the time. Mako had crime to solve, Korra had a war to start and Asami had one to monger. And Bolin? He had a stupid outfit and a new fake name and a job he wasn’t q...
Posted: 6 Oct 13 21:42 • More • Comments
Title: The Thing with Wings
Fandom: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Rating: PG
Characters: Aang, Bumi II
Summary: Aang has a son. He's going to teach him airbending and never be alone again.
Disclaimer: Avatar: The Last Airbender and its characters belong to their creators and not me.

His son was born with coal-black hair and dark gray eyes. He was beautiful and perfect. Aang grinned like an idiot through his tears as he held him for the first time. What he had felt when Hope was born was nothing compared to this. He had a son. Aang would teach him airbending. They would make fruit pies together and bend them at people. They’d play air-ball and have air scooter races. Someday his son would have children of his own and Aang would never be alone again.

The next day, Aang took Bumi flying and the wind sang his joy.


At one year old Bumi ran around with his arms out and the wind ruffling through his hair. “Look, Daddy, I’m flying,” he laughed.

He was always laughing, always moving, as free as the wind. There was so much to do in Republic City, but Aang always made time to be with his son. They went flying, practiced circle walking and even meditated together. Or, at least, Aang meditated while Bumi dozed on his lap. Real meditation could come later. Aang had so much to teach him, so much to share, and he was looking forward to every minute of it.


Most kids started bending around their second birthday, but Bumi hadn’t started yet. He’d actually managed the spinning gates and even knew a handful of basic airbending moves, but had yet to create a puff no matter how hard he tried. Aang watched his son chase Zuko’s daughter around the courtyard as he shared his concerns with the guys.

“Maybe he’s just a late bloomer,” Zuko offered. “I didn’t start bending until I was nearly three.”
Posted: 28 Sep 13 20:26 • Comments
Title : Tales of Albuquerque - Act 4
Fandoms : Avatar: The Last Airbender/In Plain Sight
Rating : PG
Characters: Mary Shannon, Marshall Mann, Zuko, Iroh, Brandi Shannon, Peter Alpert, Ozai, Azula
Summary : A car bombing in San Francisco lands Marshall Mary Shannon in a whole lot of hot tea or Zuko and Iroh hid out from the Flame Triad in witness protection.
Disclaimer: Avatar: The Last Airbender and In Plain Sight belong to other people. I'm just messing with them

Federal Courthouse, San Francisco
Present Day

By the time Mary hits the hallway Lee is nowhere in sight. There are still a handful of people lingering from the trial but after the little show in the courtroom they are all studiously avoiding eye contact. Even as Mary considers interrogating them about any hysterical teenager sightings she hears a crash from the men’s room.

Lee is standing with his back to the door when she barges in. He’s hunched over, hands on his knees, panting slightly. The trashcan lies slumped against the wall where Lee threw it, its contents, a sea of paper towels flecked with needles and a used condom, are dashed across the floor.

“Feel better?” She asks. “Want to borrow my gun? Put a few rounds in it?”

Lee just glares. Apparently property damage is not as cathartic as you might think. “I want to testify.”

“Wait, what?” Who is this kid and what has he done with the Lee who just this morning was ranting about not being a traitor.

“I want,” he repeats through clenched teeth, “to testify. Is it too late to do that?”

Mary considers the boy in front of her. He is simultaneously the calmest and the angriest Mary has ever seen him. It’s pretty clear that whatever brought this on is a heck of a lot more serious than the fact daddy never loved him. “Have you ever seen him commit a ...
Posted: 16 Jun 13 22:06 • More • Comments
Title : Tales of Albuquerque - Act 3
Fandoms : Avatar: The Last Airbender/In Plain Sight
Rating : PG
Characters: Mary Shannon, Marshall Mann, Zuko, Iroh, Brandi Shannon, Peter Alpert, Ozai, Azula
Summary : A car bombing in San Francisco lands Marshall Mary Shannon in a whole lot of hot tea or Zuko and Iroh hid out from the Flame Triad in witness protection.
Disclaimer: Avatar: The Last Airbender and In Plain Sight belong to other people. I'm just messing with them

Federal Courthouse, San Francisco
Present Day

The courtroom isn’t crowded, but it’s filling up. Marshall and Mushi are already seated directly behind the prosecution team when Mary escorts Lee to an isle seat three rows back. A trail isn’t a wedding but people tend to sit like it is. The seats on the prosecution side are filled with upstanding citizens in their Sunday best while the defense side is more sparsely populated by a number of dangerous, shifty-looking men and a pair of identical elderly women.

The defense team strolls in like they’ve got this in the bag. Mary strains to catch a glimpse of the famous Ozai Wang, father of the year and all around swell guy, but he’s impossible to distinguish from the pride of impeccably dressed lawyers who surround him. One of them, a petit Asian woman, breaks away from the pack and heads towards them as the rest take their seats. Up close she looks a little young for her law degree and the second he spots her Lee stops rubbernecking his father and freezes like a deer in the headlights.

“Why, Zuzu,” she greets him with a smirk, ignoring Mary entirely, “I’m surprised you’d show your face here.” Her gaze lights on Lee’s burn scar and her smile becomes a sneer. “Especially that face.”

Lee’s hands ball into fists in his lap. He’s shaking slightly and Mary can’t tell if it’s rage or terro...
Posted: 8 Jun 13 16:41 • More • Comments
Title : Tales of Albuquerque - Act 1
Fandoms : Avatar: The Last Airbender/In Plain Sight
Rating : PG
Characters: Mary Shannon, Marshall Mann, Zuko, Iroh, Brandi Shannon, Peter Alpert, Ozai, Azula
Summary : A car bombing in San Francisco lands Marshall Mary Shannon in a whole lot of hot tea or Zuko and Iroh hid out from the Flame Triad in witness protection.
Disclaimer: Avatar: The Last Airbender and In Plain Sight belong to other people. I'm just messing with them

Albuquerque, New Mexico
Present Day

Mary can feel her anger bubbling under the surface of her skin like a teapot threatening to boil over as she frog-marches a sullen, battered Lee down the locker-lined hallway. His lip is split and there are the makings of a bruise on his right cheek. Considering he’s been doing martial arts since he was four, Mary’s pretty sure it’s a case of you-should-see-the-other-guy.

This has not been her day. Between arranging security for Mushi’s trip to testify in San Francisco next Monday and trying to keep Brandi from blowing more of Peter’s money on some pipedream, she has enough on her plate without dealing with teenage drama. The traffic from the office had been a bitch and getting a lecture from the vice-principal and guidance councilor about Lee Wang’s attitude problem was not how she had wanted to spend her lunch break. He’s been suspended for the next two weeks and right now she’s wishing they lived in a society that was okay with caning.

She hauls him outside through the double doors and down a flight of stairs before flinging him at the passenger’s side of the car. She waits until he is buckled in before rounding on him. “What were you thinking?” She yells.

Lee slumps petulantly in his seat. “He started it.”

“Oh, he starte...
Posted: 2 Jun 13 09:21 • More • Comments
Title : Tales of Albuquerque - Act 1
Fandoms : Avatar: The Last Airbender/In Plain Sight
Rating : PG
Characters: Mary Shannon, Marshall Mann, Zuko, Iroh, Brandi Shannon, Peter Alpert, Ozai, Azula
Summary : A car bombing in San Francisco lands Marshall Mary Shannon in a whole lot of hot tea or Zuko and Iroh hid out from the Flame Triad in witness protection.
Disclaimer: Avatar: The Last Airbender and In Plain Sight belong to other people. I'm just messing with them

They say family shapes us. Nature, nurture, it gets you coming and going. First, you’ve got your genetics; grandma’s eyes, Uncle Stan’s receding hairline, all that fun stuff. Then there’s the more subtle inheritance of conditioning and expectations, actions and reactions. Next thing you know, you’re an alcoholic just like mommy or a crazy Libertarian railing against daddy’s left-wing hippy politics. Fight it all you want, no one ever escapes. We are who are families have made us.

Albuquerque, New Mexico

Present Day

Mary sprawls in her comfy chair across from where her sister, Brandi, and her sister’s boyfriend, Peter, cuddle on the couch as they enjoy some post-dinner wine. Well, she and Brandi enjoy the wine, Peter enjoys some pomegranate juice, but it’s nearly the same color. The dining room table is still cluttered with plates, chopsticks and the remains of some excellent Chinese food, but Mary’s in no hurry to clean up. She’d rather have painful rectal surgery than admit it, but she’s missed this since Brandi and their mother moved out. She used to long to have her house to herself, but these days it feels like she has too many guest beds and not enough guests.

“-Then, she opens up the trunk and says, ‘I thought it’d be bigger.’”

Brandi laughs like Peter’s story about...
Posted: 27 May 13 15:13 • More • Comments
Title : Tales of Albuquerque
Fandoms : Avatar: The Last Airbender/In Plain Sight
Rating : PG
Characters: Mary Shannon, Marshall Mann, Zuko, Iroh, Brandi Shannon, Peter Alpert, Ozai, Azula
Summary : A car bombing in San Francisco lands Marshall Mary Shannon in a whole lot of hot tea or Zuko and Iroh hid out from the Flame Triad in witness protection.
Disclaimer: Avatar: The Last Airbender and In Plain Sight belong to other people. I'm just messing with them
Note: Thanks to Mike for the image.

San Francisco
One Year Ago

Our scene opens on a city street at in the early evening. The architecture is an appealing blend of fanciful Asian-inspired roof-lines and bland Western ones festooned with brightly colored signs written in a mish-mash of English and Chinese. Parked cars line the steep street waiting for someone’s parking brake to fail. Muted sounds of traffic from neighboring streets and the chatter of a thousand TVs fill the air and everything is as peaceful as a large metropolitan area ever gets.

Onto the street step two men, well, a man and a boy, really, coming out of an office building that purports to be in the import-export business. The man is a short, Asian Santa with gray hair and beard and jolly, twinkling eyes. He is soft and round and filled with a Zen-like calm even the Buddha would envy. By contrast, the boy is all hard angles and hard muscles pulled taunt over a seething mass of teenage angst constantly threatening to burst free and set the surrounding world ablaze.
“How can he possibly justify treating our people like this?” the boy rants as the two head down the sidewalk. “They’re our employees, not our slaves! They work hard for our family and deserve our respect.”

The older man nods, fishing the car keys from his pocket, and makes noises of agreement in the proper places. He c...
Posted: 19 May 13 20:57 • More • Comments
Title: Erosion
Fandom : Battlestar Galactica
Rating : R
Characters/Pairings : Kara Thrace/ Leoben Conoy
Disclaimer: Battlestar Galactica and its fraked-up characters belong to their creators, not me.
Summary : And so it goes. The mountain of her will pitted against his stupid fraking streams.
Warnings: Violence and murder, coercive sexual relations, dub/non-con, seriously unhealthy relationships

It’s not like she’s expecting when he takes her. He doesn’t rape her, doesn’t torture her, doesn’t hold her face down in a barrel of water. He just talks, not threats even. It’s all whispered endearments, psychobabble and crazy prophecy bullshit. Kara Thrace and her special destiny as his personal frak-toy.

She finds a way to kill him before the end of the week. It’ll probably come back to bite her in the ass, but she needs to show him that she won’t play his little mind games. A few days later he comes back, just as gentle and patient as before, and they start all over again.


He goes away sometimes. Not just when he’s dead, but like he has a job, something better to do than play this frakked-up game of house. There’s nothing to do while he’s gone, no books, no wireless, nothing. She does push-ups, runs up and down the stairs and imagines what she’d paint on the walls if she could. She talks to herself, pounds out angry tunes on an invisible piano and wonders if she’s going crazy.

The first time she finds herself relieved to see him she kills him messy. She spends the next day scrubbing his blood from the carpet just to have something to do.


She wakes in the night from a dream of them fraking, frantic, covered in paint, against a wall. It wasn’t making love, but it wasn’t quite hate-sex either and now she’s wet and gasping. Her hand is already down the front of he...
Posted: 17 Apr 13 21:09 • More • Comments
Title : From a Cylon8
Fandom : Battlestar Galactica
Rating : PG-13
Pairings : Sweet!Eight/Felix Gaeta
Disclaimer : Someone else created them, I just play.
Summary : Three short stories of what was and what could have been for an Eight on New Caprica.


Eight feels numb when she wakes up in her new body. Then the memories hit and the pain rushes in. She remembers explosions, gunfire and the snarling faces of the insurgents storming the detention center who shot her like her life, like her baby’s life, were nothing. By the time she’s downloaded, its all over. There is nothing left on New Caprica but Cylons, corpses and trash.

Felix is gone.

It’s not that she loves him. She doesn’t, not like Caprica loves Baltar or her sister Eights love Helo and Galen. Felix had been an assignment, nothing more, but he had been hers in a way that nothing had ever been before. He had been hers to have and to hold, to lie to in the dark, her fingers combing through curls that belonged to her too. He’d kissed only her, frakked only her, loved only her. But she hadn’t loved him, not his dumb trusting eyes or the way his handwriting was unlike anyone else’s. No, she hadn’t loved him, didn’t love him. She’d just thought he’d be hers forever.

Her Felix is gone, but Gaius Baltar had stayed. Out of all the humans, he was the only one. Eight hates the sight of him. She hate’s Caprica’s smug face and the way Three floats about with her sister Eight’s child in her arms. She hates the insurgents who shot her and Felix who left her. Above all, she hates her new body. She knows it’s exactly the same as her last one, it just feels so much emptier.



The day Felix Gaeta is taken into custody for spying against the Cylons, Eight tracks down the handful of people s...
Posted: 29 Apr 12 23:15 • More • Comments
Title : Six Seeds
Fandom : Battlestar Galactica
Rating : PG
Characters/Pairings : Baltar/Caprica, Gaeta/Sweet!Eight
Summary : It’s winter on New Caprica and they’re all Persephone here.
Disclaimer: The show belongs to other people. I play with their ideas.

“Did you know, as a child I was dedicated to Demeter and Ares?” Gaius asks, head down, pen hovering uselessly over the latest Cylon decree. They’re imposing a ten percent tithe on all of New Caprica’s meager agricultural products. It’s just another form of rationing and an excuse to detain the owners of the worlds’ last remaining goats.

“A farmer’s son and this” – he angrily waves the document in Felix’s face, crumpling the edges in his clenched fist – “this is my harvest.” He’s just drunk enough that his posh accent is slipping, a bit of Aerelon’s harshness seeping through the cracks, and Felix can almost believe that this little rant isn’t just another one of Gaius’s lies.

Drawn by Gaius’s tantrum, his Six slips from the sleeping area, ready, as always, to make everything better. The possessive hand she rests of Gaius’s shoulder is gentle, but she glares at Felix like its his fault her lover is drunken wreck being forced to steal food from the mouths of his people. “Is everything alright?”

Gaius drops the rumpled document and cradles his head in his hands. “I have a headache,” he whines like a petulant child.

Caprica smoothes his hair and reaches for his meds. Bracketing him gently in her arms, she carefully shakes a pill from the bottle into the waiting palm of his hand. Her face is a picture of concern, tenderness and affection. Felix almost feels sorry for her.

Gaius contemplates the pill in his hand. “I was a child of Demeter, but now I belong to God.” He raises the pill, displaying it like a priest with a temple ...
Posted: 18 Apr 12 23:15 • More • Comments
Title: Comedy Hour
Fandom: Batman Comics
Characters: Joker, Robin
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Fair use or copyright infringement? Your call.
Summary: After Batman & Robin #13, Joker and Robin spend some time together

Robin giggles and gasps, trembling as Joker clasps him to his chest. Sure, Gotham’s finest are shouting and waving guns about, but it’s nothing the kid needs to worry his little bird-y brain about. Even Gotham cops wont shoot a child hostage and Joker, well, he has plans. Places to go, people to kill and there’s party favors aplenty enough to get them out of here in Robin’s magic belt. They could do with more kick but hey, if you can’t blow up the ones you love, you use the bombs you’re with.

By the time they hit the streets, covered in soot and blood and laughing like loons, there’s a real wheeze in bird boy’s chuckles and his lips are tinged with blue. It wont do at all, this bird’s in hand and there’s no time to check the bush, but it’s still a few more blocks from the station before he shoves the kid down on the secluded stoop of a crumbling tenement. Sirens are playing his favorite tune and somewhere something is burning. It’s another beautiful nigh in Gotham and no one will bother them here.

Robin’s head lolls back against the stairs, his face as pale and toothsome as a skull. He’s a few heart beats away from passing out and Joker wonders if it's chaos enough for him, struggling for breath behind his first (and last) real smile. "Get it yet?" Joker whispers in his ear. The kid laughs in reply and the joke must be funny as hell if the tears oozing from the mask are anything to go by.

Joker gives his shoulder a pat and roots through his new belt of goodies. "Hmm, lock pick.. gas mask...oh, chewing gum!" He ditches the useless crap and pops the gum. Spearmint, blech. What’s wrong with good, old fashioned b...
Posted: 4 Dec 11 15:49 • More • Comments
Title: The Gods Must Be Crazy
Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Characters: Xander, OCs
Disclaimer: I own DVDs, not the show and not Xander. It would be neat if I did, but, sadly, no.
Author’s Note: The Bushmen are a real ethnic group known by many names including San, Basarwa and Kung. Since Bushmen is the term they consider least offensive and I consider most pronounceable, that’s the one I went with. Their language is called !Kung and it is click language. All the strange punctuation and symbols in the middle of words represent specific clicks. Don’t ask me to pronounce them.

Previous parts here

IN: So, did you just start driving?

XH: Ah, no. The Central Kalahari Game Reserve is bigger than some small countries and, you know, a desert. You don’t just drive into it, not unless you want to be a very dry corpse. You need supplies and maps and a plan.

IN: So what was the plan?

XH: You know in Westerns when the posse goes and stakes out a watering hole?

IN: Yes. [Pause] Wait, that was your plan?

XH: Yeah, actually. It’s cliché for a reason. In the dry season, there are only so many places to get a drink so everyone shows up at a watering hole eventually. Of course, the Central Kalahari Game Reserve is practically the size of Denmark, so hitting the same one as our Slayer was sort of like finding the pub in London where you promised to meet your friend when the only part of the name you can remember is “the.”

IN: As plans go, that doesn’t seem especially, well, promising.

XH: Still beats wandering aimlessly in the desert.

IN: Touché. So, how did this staking out the watering hole work exactly?

XH: Well, Xi had this handy-dandy geological survey map with all the natural water sources and man-made wells. Once we gotten supp...
Posted: 28 Jul 10 20:36 • More • Comments
Title: Gather Up Every Wayward Lock
Fandom: Avatar: the Last Airbender
Rating: PG
Characters: Katara, Azula, Toph
Disclaimer: Avatar, it’s characters and their issues belong to the show’s creators and not me.
Summary: The girls do their hair.

Katara braids her hair. Mom used to do it for her. She’d comb it first with long, luxurious strokes until it flowed smooth and shimmering as a waterfall. Then she’d divide it and braid it up with shell beads and bits of pretty. But mom is gone now and the only hair style dad knows is a wolf tale so Katara braids her own hair. It always pulls to the right and it’s not the same.

One of her attendants pulls her hair too hard and Azula smacks the woman across the face with the offending brush. Her mother actually makes her apologize to the stupid cow-hippo and declares that Azula will do her own hair until she learns that servants are a privilege and not a right. She stands by while Azula struggles and with every frown of her tutors at her sloppy top-knot Azula feels a stab of hate.

The next morning her hair is an elephant-rat’s nest and Azula is too angry to cry. Her mother stops her before she can hack it off or set it on fire.

“You have such beautiful hair,” she sighs as she de-tangles the knots and brushes out the mess gentler than even the most attentive servant. Azula considers chopping it all off anyway, just on principle, but ends up leaning into the brush strokes instead.

Every morning Mu Yin does Top’s hair. It’s just another thing Toph is too blind and helpless to do on her own like getting dressed, walking the garden unattended and blowing on her own soup. Every morning Mu Yin tames Toph’s bed-head, twisting and tucking her hair into submission behind the confinement of her headband. The old servant is so gentle and determinately kind Toph just wants to scream....
Posted: 3 Jul 10 21:22 • More • Comments