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Author CousinMary


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NOTE: This blog has been rated FR15 by the author. Blog content is not moderated by TtH

This is even better than the original. Love so much!
Posted: 17 Nov 12 23:10 • Comments
I know it’s been forever since I’ve updated, fic or rl, but I had to share.

So, my job is online brand protection. Basically, companies hire me to make sure people aren’t selling knock-off products under their name or other internet-type shenanigans. Anyway, I had this guy write me claiming to be offended because a certain website (on online forum) was not, in fact, affiliated with a certain company… One back ground check later: the guy owns a competing forum!  I’m so tempted to be the hand of karma and bitch slap the guy.

I went digging through his forum and found him and his cohorts had some fun stringing along a Chinese domain hosting company a few months back. He’s possibly looking to repeat the experience; stirring up all sorts of corporate panic by complaining to the right/wrong people. Not going to work buddy, I’ve been in online fandom for 15 years. I know all about trolling.


Posted: 28 Jan 12 17:48 • Comments
Brief update to prove I'm not dead...

I got a job!  A real adult job with a decent paycheck and regular hours  O_o   I know, freaky.  Soon enough I shall be flush with cash.  That PC I'm in desperate need of will be mine and fic will (hopefully) follow soon after.  I also need basic stuff like the carpet cleaner and new bath floor mats... the PC is the important item though.

And, although I haven't started the aforementioned job, I did go out and buy SPN season 6.  I've already been completely spoiled through fic, but I don't care.  *hearts for eyes*

Also, Halloween is just around the corner and, again, now that I'm employed, I'll have money for a costume and our annual party (which I was really worried we'd have to cancel.)  No idea what I'm going to go as yet.

Posted: 14 Sep 11 21:07 • Comments
I was rereading an old SPN/BTVS xover I started awhile back and never finished. It has Andrew/Sam subtext... 0_o  I didn't intend it, at all. It could be read as one-sided (Andrew notices Sam's good looks) however, I have Cas point out that Andrew had committed terrible acts and redeemed himself and, well, Sam sort of... yeah. Maybe I've just been reading too much slash this summer or something. I don't (at least, have never) written slash, yet this certainly seems to be leaning that direction.


In other news, I have a second interview with the company that will hopefully hire me soon after on Tuesday.  If I get the job *crosses fingers* the first thing I'm buying is a new desktop, 'cause typing anything of length on my laptop is a trial.  I miss writing!
Posted: 3 Sep 11 13:23 • Comments
Snagged from Illustrationtwilight2000  :-)

The one who seduced you and screwed you over and broke your heart in a million pieces and laughed about it.
Heroes.  The first season and a half was great (twisty, turny, bad, but in a good way) then it started to suck.  *sigh*

The old flame you don't see very often any more but whom you still really enjoy getting together with for a few drinks and maybe a pleasant nostalgic romp in the sheets.
Forever Knight. It was my first fandom and I was ridiculously active. In the end, I liked the fandom better than the show ;-)

The mysterious dark, gothy one whom you used to sit up with talking until 3a.m. at weird coffeehouses and with whom you were quite smitten until you realized he really was fucking crazy (but you still love).
Anita Blake. The books are terribly written (bad characterization, arc, pacing, etc) The fic, however, is some of my favorite. Awesome world building.

The one you spent a whole weekend in bed with and who drank up all your liquor, and whom you'd still really like to get with again although you're relieved he doesn't actually live in town.
Watchmen.  I love the writers in this fandom, there's some amazing fic. I toy with the idea of joining in, however the meta aspects are just too intimidating.

The steady.
Buffy Xovers. Twisting the Hellmouth is my home.

The alluring stranger whom you've flirted with at parties but have never gotten really serious with.
Firefly. I like the show, even like the fic; I've just never felt any compulsio...
Posted: 12 Aug 11 16:39 • More • Comments

I've been having massive computer problems lately. I caught something nasty on my laptop and, after much fussing, fighting, and rebooting, I finally managed to kill it. My desktop is proving more problematic, which is plain awful, for while I read a lot of fic on my laptop, I write on my desktop (it has Word and all my files.) I finally have time to work on Gotham Slayer and my other WIPs, but typing into my sub-par laptop would drive me nuts! In other news, I got the new season of True Blood on DVD. I'm about halfway through and, as usual, am loving Tara and Lafayette, liking Eric and Pam, and bored to death with Sookie and Bill. It's funny, I spend a lot of time on LKHlashouts (a community that whines about the Anita Blake books) and I think it's ruined me for 1st person urban fantasies. I just cringe when Sookie is on screen “explaining” her motivations, steamrolling over her friends opinions, and, really, generally existing. I have a real problem with unlikable characters and, while Sookie Stackhouse isn't nearly as bad as Anita Blake, they certainly share enough traits to draw a parallel.

Back to my writing woes. Why isn't Word standard on computers anymore? Seriously, it's around $100-150 to buy separate. *whimper*

Posted: 14 Jun 11 18:32 • Comments
This is ten kinds of adorable. Fight Club is probably one of my favorite movies, both in and of itself and because it allows for awesome parodies. 
Posted: 1 Jun 11 11:04 • Comments
Fic: Sad SmileBy: Cousin Mary
Fandoms: BTVS & Firefly
Disclaimers: Don’t own BTVS or Firefly. Do own all the eps on DVD though…

Andrew still wasn’t sure how he’d ended up in the future. Or at least he’d assumed it was the future, what with the space ships, dehydrated food stuffs and cool glowy neon technology. But how he’d ended up in the company of the obvious slayer, Zoe, was even more of a mystery.

After his trip through the portal, which should have taken him to LA and not the small asteroid colony in the year of only-Yoda-knew-when, he’d found himself quickly arrested and thrown into a very un-high tech cell with other people lacking credentials. He’d had no idea what the Alliance was, or the Brown Coats for that matter, and his request to contact the Council had been met with blank stares. The only ray of hope had been the woman filling out paperwork in the waiting room who kept glancing at him whenever he let out a nervous giggle, which had admittedly been quite often.

She’d been a new widow, poor soul, who’d been registering her husband’s death certificate. Andrew thought she looked like a slayer. She carried herself like one, she was visibly armed, plus she had a sadness about her, much like Buffy, a little like Faith. When she left, somehow she took him with her, her nephew she’d said.

They sat side by side on the transport, but she didn’t ask him anything. He babbled on and on about Star Wars and Trek, he couldn’t help himself, but she just listened with a half smile even though he could tell she’d never heard of either.

Space was huge. All right, of course it was, but even in his Babylon 5 roll-playing days Andrew had never consciously thought about how vast and empty it was. The transport voyage lasted for days and days and the stars didn’t seem to get any closer. Zoe Washburne taught him to use her gun, though he didn’t get to fire it in the hold, just take...
Posted: 29 May 11 18:45 • More • Comments
Confession: I'm the guy... I wish I wasn't... but, yeah
Posted: 19 May 11 21:42 • Comments
Back in the late 90's - oh those halcyon days! - I was an even bigger geek than I am now.

I know, hard to believe.

Not only did I write fanfic (for a Canadian vampire cop show) I also ran an email list of about 60 people to talk about a character from its third season.  The email list/group was the Dark Perks and it has been immortalized on Fanlore here and on the Forever Knight Wiki here.  The articles quote me extensively, both from my old geocities site (reposted here) and an email exchange Illustrationgreerwatson conducted.

 It was a crazy, geeky time, filled with haunted mansions and headless pink bunnies.  I was just starting to write and my fic oscillated between "cute" and "unreadable."  I spent about 4 years living and breathing FK, went to two awesome parties (L.A. and Toronto) and learned to love fandom.   Anyway, I thought I'd share those links.

 Just for fun, here's an old webcomic. The show was Forever Knight, so my comics were Occasionally Knight  ;-) Illustration  In other news, I've graduated! Have to put together my resume and head out looking for work - wish me luck :) And, hopefully, I'll be able to start updating my fics soon too.
Posted: 18 May 11 13:52 • Comments
Awhile ago I did this meme about my old FK fanfic and I thought it was about time I filled it out for my newer Buffy fics.  (Procrastinating you say?  Bite your tongue!  ;-)

  Five Ways to Tell You're Reading BTVS fanfiction by Me

Buffy and Dawn are awesome sisters who totally get along!Andrew is deep, like a geeky ocean.Xander and Willow are mentioned... in passing."Um, er, huh.." eloquent my characters are not.Puns!Illustration Fifteen Questions and Answers About My Fanfiction

1.) Which is your favorite story? (Is it the same as your best story?)

I have a real soft spot for His Angel, it doesn't get as much love as my other multi-chapter stories, but it's probably my favorite.

2.) Which is your best-received story?
Gotham Slayer, hands down. It's currently sitting at 1245 reviews and 126 recommendations.  Pretty snazzy  :)

3.) Which is your worst-received story?
The Driver didn't get many reviews.  I'm not really sure why.  I guess, the world just wasn't ready for Dawn to drive a taxi  ;-)

4.) Which is your angstiest story?
I don't usually write angst, but Mr. Spike, fro...
Posted: 19 Apr 11 09:19 • More • Comments
Come May I will have earned a B.A. in Mass Communications, or, as one of my professors called it, “a degree in advanced T.V. watching.” This degree includes a second emphasis in journalism. Basically, in a month’s time, I’ll be really qualified to blog about T.V.


Not that this is a bad thing (unless, you know, I want a job or anything) because I love writing and talking about T.V.! In that spirit, I’m going to share a lovely paper I found as I researched my own senior thesis, entitled When Becky Met Chuck: How the Breakdown of the Fourth Wall is Affecting Online FandomNote: this is not my paper, though I did consider this exact topic :)

I just have to mention that I love Becky Rosen as a character and think there is a severe lack of fic about her.  I enjoy fangirl culture (I'd argue it is unique and beautiful) so seeing it represented on screen, albeit in a comic, yet still affectionate way, makes me happy.

And just for giggles:

Posted: 6 Apr 11 13:31 • Comments
So, I'm working on my story for Fiction Writing class and I'm trying to decide which story I want to workshop. I've narrowed it down to two, but I'm not sure which to submit.  

The first is about two women - a 20 something office worker and her 16 year old sister. (Buffy and Dawn in my story Gotham Slayer you say? How dare you!!! But yeah... a bit.) Anyway, they have little in common and therefore not much to talk about, until one day a mysterious, gruff older man moves into their building. They begin to speculate about who and what he is. Basically, they are using the man, even though they have almost no actual interaction with him. Eventually it develops into a stalking situation as the gals need to keep “upping the ante” of their stories, trying to find out more and more about the man. Could work, but I'm not sure it'll hold my class's interest. The sisters' relationship feels awkward and strained at the beginning, which is the point, but still, it's a slow build. 

Letter WritingThe second contender is about an eighteen year old guy spending the summer between high school and college with the biological father he hasn't seen since he was 6. The father is a manly, ex military type and the son a somewhat effeminate, not-quite-openly-gay intellectual. The guy (currently named Andrew because I write way too much BTVS fic) is very earnest and emotional, and his father's nihilistic humor ends up not only rubbing off on him, but also helping him get over being dumped and outed in small town USA (the traumatic experience which led him to agree to spend the summer with the father he hardly knows in the first place.) 

Now, this one has the chance of going over really well as the dad tells a lot of awful bawdy jokes but is secretly a complete sweetheart who just wants to connect with his son who, I think, shows a lot of strength of character. Frankly, I lov...
Posted: 28 Mar 11 18:10 • More • Comments
Okay, so I'm watching TLC's What Not To Wear and they just pounced on a goth witch and I'm so offended it's not even funny! I don't dress goth and I'm an atheist, so it's not like I'm overly identifying or anything, but still!

Now, I get losing the pointed hat in “delicate situations,” (though it speaks to a certain prejudice... it's not like they'd ask a Xian to give up their cross) but a lot of what they're getting at seems to be: hide your weight, blend in, and never, ever make anyone feel uncomfortable. :-/

So, yeah, I'm nearly 6 feet tall so I never really “blend,” though I dress pretty generically “comfortable” most of the time. My general rule is 1st: is it comfortable? 2Nd: is it cute? (I'm not going to wear an underwire bra unless I'm meeting the Queen.)

As far as fashion goes, I never understood wearing uncomfortable clothing. (This gave me fits running with a goth crowd in high school.) Stockings, corsets, and make-up are uncomfortable!  Stop telling me otherwise!

On the other hand, in summer I live in short shorts and tank tops (it reaches the hundreds here and it's illegal to go naked.) Which isn't exactly normal, especially now that I'm in my 30's. Also, I have waist length blonde hair, no bangs, no curls, just one long pony tail down my back. And I almost never wear make-up... So yeah, this show would throw me down a flight of stairs if they got the chance.

Also, just have to mention the clothes they put these gals in? $90 tops? $300 jeans? It's not that these women didn't know these things might look good, most people can't afford that! Ugh.

Posted: 8 Mar 11 16:01 • Comments
Title: Family Business
By: Cousin Mary
Fandom: Forever Knight
Disclaimer: FK is the property of James Parriott and Sony/Tristar, nocopyright infringement intended
Summary: Tracy meets her cousins for coffee
Rating: PG

       "Hey, we've all been there, Bethany.  It'll get better," Tracy promised, patting her cousin's shoulder.

        "I just can't believe I killed him." Bethany looked at her with red watery eyes. She shook her head and took a swig of her double mocha latte.  It wasn't helping any, it just swirled with the stale pretzels in her stomach and threatened to come back up. "I mean, some cops go their whole careers without ever drawing their gun and I-"

        "You're a Vetter, Bethy," Cory told her, as if that explained everything. "It was bound to happen sooner or later."

        "Cory..." Tracy shook her head in warning. "She doesn't need to hear that now."

        "Hear what?"  Bethany asked, pushing a blonde curl out of her eyes and tucking it behind her ear.  She looked to Tracy for an explanation, hiccuping back the new wave of tears that threatened.

        "Cory's theory,"  the detective explained, rolling her eyes.

        "Theory?" Cory tossed his head and laughed, the club's lights glinting off his shaggy strawberry blond hair. "Even you have to admit, Tracy, sometimes it's just fate."

        "Fate?"  Bethany Vetter snorted. "What you been smokin' Cory?  There's no such thing as fate.  So what?  We all ended up cops.  That doesn't mean anything."

        "Doesn't mean anything except that we're born and bred to be cops, you mean," Cory pointed out.  "Look, my dad's a cop, Uncle Sonny, Uncle Richard, Aunt Louise..."

        "And Granddad, his brother..." Tracy ticked a few more off.  Of course Bethany already knew they came from a long line of...
Posted: 12 Feb 11 13:16 • More • Comments
Okay, so this popped into my head yesterday and now every time I'm not actively thinking about something else... it comes back.  Now, usually my rabid plot bunnies would be, I'd like to think, read by somebody

But this? 

The plot bunny: Liz Lemon (Tina Fey on 30 Rock) is nearly mugged walking to the subway station after a particularly bad rehearsal.  She's saved though, by Rorschach (Watchmen.) 

The way I see it, Liz can kind of be a doormat when it comes to the people in her life, so Rorschach breaking into her apartment after the fact to steal her food/etc would just roll off her back.  I also imagine Rorschach "complimenting" Liz on not trying to play up her looks or otherwise acting like a "whore."  Obviously, this is all played for laughs. 

Only, I'm the only one laughing.

Seriously, my unattended muses have taken to writing a 30 Rock/Watchmen xover with little to no input from me.  It's disturbing and sort of hilarious.

Posted: 29 Nov 10 11:36 • Comments
Title: Brown Paper Packages Tied Up With String
By: Cousin Mary
Fandom: Forever Knight
Characters: Natalie Lambert and Lucien Lacroix
Disclaimers: Standard and holdiay themed disclaimers go here.
Notes: This is a complete rewrite of a story I wrote 10+ years ago. Same plot, better jokes, pacing, grammar, etc. Enjoy! 
 Nat stifled a yawn, exhausted. Since half the department was out with the flu, she'd had to work late every night for the past two weeks. Now that she was finally home, all she wanted was to crawl into bed and pass out. She couldn't though, not yet. Squaring her shoulders, she turned her attention to the pile of Christmas catalogs spread across her counter. Nat sighed, every year she promised her self that she'd start early, that she'd plan... yet every year it was the same thing: last minute rush orders.

Well, at least she was consistent.

Hours later, Nat looked over her checklist: fruit of the month for Uncle Rory, a crystal vase for Sarah, a pair of garnet earrings for Grace, she always got Nick a holiday themed sweater, so, red and green reindeer this year, and his partner Tracy was easy, a gift card to Buckstars. She rubbed her eyes, the only one left was her niece, Amy.


She reached for a toy catalog. What was she going to get her? Amy was at that weird age, where most toys were too childish and everything else was too mature. Nat bit her lip, determined to find something the tween would love. Flipping past the board games and coloring books, she froze.

“Oh. My. God,” she mumbled, her sleep deprived brain grinding to a halt. She had to buy it.

"No, don't do it," she whispered to herself. Her resolve didn't last long, twenty, thirty seconds tops. It was just too good. Fighting a grin, she quickly dialed and made her order.

"Oh God,” she snickered as she hung up, wiping her eyes. “Well, that's the stupidest ...
Posted: 24 Nov 10 19:31 • More • Comments
Snagged from Illustrationbrightknightie .  Once upon a time, long before I started writing BTVS xovers, I wrote Forever Knight Fanfic.  It's not the greatest, but it's where I learned how to write.  Anyway, for this meme I'm going to limit my answers to my FK fic, if I can remember that far back  ;-)Five Ways to Tell You're Reading FK Fanfiction by Me

<br>It's about Tracy.Even though it's about Tracy, Vachon's hardly in it.Either is Nick.No flashbacks, it's all about the here and now.The here and now is hilarious! Vampires + Cops = Romantic Comedy!Tn 1bb 251crop2.jpg

<br>Fifteen Questions and Answers About My FK Fanfiction

1.) Which is your favorite story? (Is it the same as your best story?)

Hmm, I have a soft spot for 'Tis the Season.   It's a little outside the box (Tracy is thrown back in time to Victorian England,) however, it was the first story where I managed to hit 50 pages, which was epic

2.) Which is your best-received story?

Enthralled, it was my first award winning story.  Tracy was never the most popular character, so getting recognition for a story that paired Tracy with Miklos (the Raven's bartender in season 2) was pretty nifty.  ...
Posted: 23 Nov 10 20:38 • More • Comments
Holiday Fruit Cake
Chalk full of Christmas spirit!


1 cup water1 cup sugar1 stick of butter4 large eggs2 cups dried fruit1-1/2 cups flour1 tsp. baking soda1 tsp. salt1 cup brown sugar2 cups chopped walnuts1 bottle dark rumLemon juice to tasteInstructions:

First off, sample the rum to check for quality. Next, take out your largest mixing bowl and find your mixer.Check the rum again to be sure it's of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink. Repeat.Turn on the electric mixer, beat one stick of butter in a large fluffy ball. Add 1tsp. of sugar and beat again. Make sure the rum is still okay. Have another cup.Turn off the mixer. Break two eggs and add to bowl. Chuck in the cup of fruit. Mix on the mixer. If the dried fruit gets stuck in the beaters, pry it loose with a screwdriver or something.Sample the rum to check that it hasn't gone bad. Next, sift two cups of salt, or something. Who cares? Check the rum. Now sift the lemon juice and crack some walnuts . Add one table. Spoon. Of sugar or something...whatever you can find.Grease the oven. Turn the cake to 350 degrees. Don't forget to mix off the turner. Throw the bowl out of the window, check the rum again and go to bed. Happy Holidays everyone!

Posted: 15 Nov 10 16:34 • Comments
Because it's always fun to imagine that writing fanfic will lead to a legitimate career... here's a link, Rants and Ramblings.  It's a literary agent's blog with info on how to write a query letter, book proposal, and the like.   Nice little thing to bookmark.

In related news, I have one slot open next semester and I'm thinking about taking Fiction Writing.  My fanfic usually garners plenty of positive reviews, however, I've never taken a writing class or been in a writing group and I'm curious how non-fandom people will react to my writing.  Plus, being encouraged to write using only original characters?   O_o   It'll be a trip.
Posted: 25 Oct 10 13:00 • Comments
First off, I don't like camping.  Second, it'll be too cold soon anyway, however, I have this idea.  I want to go camping, out in the middle of nowhere (with like canned food, booze, MREs, the whole nine yards) and pretend the apocalypse has come.

Now, I'm not usually one for role-playing, though this wouldn't be for a particular show or anything, but this sounds like it could be fun.  And I can think of at least a half a dozen people who would be all for it (some of whom actually go camping on occasion, which would be helpful ;-)  

There would need to be a radio set to constant static...  We could get all shifty eyed and paranoid... 

I think it could be a good writing exercise if I documented the group interaction.  Of course, this is the kind of idea that either turns out to be a lot of fun, or, someone (probably me) will get shot...Illustration 
Posted: 21 Oct 10 14:30 • Comments
The first time I listened this, I didn't really like it.  Then I showed it to my hubby and liked it a bit more.  It's been stuck in my head for days now, some of the lines are amazing.  "Start off with the saddest thing you know, and then you have your audience and then it's all your show..."
And this is just pure fun.  There are a series of these, Marvel vs DC (this one is Deadpool & Watchmen.)  In case anyone hasn't seen them, they're hilarious.

Posted: 16 Oct 10 23:03 • Comments
This is kind of neat, it's a flow chart of female character tropes.  Useful for writers and generally amusing.  Check it out  :)
Posted: 15 Oct 10 13:30 • Comments
Thought I'd share a graphic I made for a possible Buffy xover.
The vague idea behind this is Dawn was sent to NY and Rorschach feels compelled to protect her (note the key-green influence in his last thought)

Disclaimer: I own nothing
Posted: 9 Oct 10 23:48 • Comments
I have 4 bookcases in the study, so without even looking through the titles people would guess I'm a reader.  As for what they say about me... probably that I'm a liberal, would-be intellectual that hangs out at bookstores a lot.  ;-)

The first bookcase is all philosophy (my major in college for awhile) and religion (mostly atheism and catholism.)  The second is literature;  heavy on the 1850-1950 British and 1920-present American, lots of Orwell and Vonnegut.  Victorian to avant garde, the shelves are overflowing. 

The third case is politics, history and art.  Left wing, pro-labor politcial writings.  As for the histories, I love the 1920-30s and histories written by women, so that's heavily represented.  And my hubby has a ton of Irish-American and Irish Republic stuff.  FDR, Che, and the Kennedys have their own shelf.  Art leans towards 1920's art deco, propaganda and street/graffiti.  The fourth case is reference (dictionaries, guides to, quotes, etc) and essayists: David Rakoff, Sarah Vowell, David Sedaris, pretty much anyone on NPR ;-)

We really need floor to ceiling shelving put in, because there's never enough room.  One of our spare bedrooms upstairs is stuffed with boxes and stacks of books that didn't make the cut to go into the study.  All of the graphic novels, cook books and popular fiction is up there, (abandoned and cold in the unheated space.)
Posted: 6 Oct 10 13:29 • Comments