I challenge you to write a stripper!xander story set in the universe of the movie "Magic Mike".

Must Haves:

1. Some form of contact between Xander and everyone in Sunnydale.
examples: phone calls home, someone takes a trip to visit Xander, postcards, money transfers home, emails, etc.

2. Some form of introducing one or more characters from "Magic Mike" to the supernatural.
examples: a vampire nest calls strippers for take-out, the gang enforcers are demons, one of the strippers is a demon (incubus would be fitting), vampire patron at the ...

While re-watching the season 3 episode 21 ("Bloodbath") of NCIS, I thought that it would work very well as a way to introduce the Buffy-verse to Team Gibbs. So here it is:

Abby calls Xander for help after finding out that her ex-boyfriend/stalker (Mikel Mauher) is a clear and present danger.

1. Xander can be her brother, cousin, ex-boyfriend, childhood pen-pal, etc. But he cannot be just a guy she met or just a Council representative. They must have a closer relationship than that.

2. Xander and Gibbs bond over how far they will go to protect Abby, yet butt heads ov...

I want to see Xander in Tamora Pierce's Tortal universe. I don't particularly care when or where. I just want to see him there. I don't care from when or where in the Buffy-verse he comes, either.

I would like to see a story that is set in season 2 of the Buffyverse, where Nathaniel gets picked up by Children's Services and placed with a semi-distant family member, who lives in Sunny-D. This should involve a fairly comprehensive re-write of at least season 2 and any further seasons you so desire.

Things that MUST be:
-slash pairing of Xander/Nathaniel
-Nathaniel has not yet met Gabriel, Anita, or any significant figure of the Anitaverse
-Nathaniel is a still a wereleopard
-Nathaniel is still extremely submissive
-Xander freaks out about having a crush on Na...

To start, a few questions to get the writing juices flowing:

What would happen if some Power went back to the beginning and changed things?
What if Xander was a pre-immortal?
What if Buffy didn't show up at the Bronze in "Welcome to the Hellmouth"?
What if Xander was taken instead of Jesse?
What if the Master took a liking to him/knew what he was?

So here is the actual challenge:

With Xander as a pre-immortal, somehow he ends up being taken by Darla as a snack for the Master. What happens next?

Requirements:
Must be Xander-centric in the ...