Review of chapter "Chapter One" from Bobboky
Review By [Bobboky
] • Date [23 Dec 06] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from Mathais
It's not bad. It's not the best, but it's not bad. You have some redundancy issues where you say something than say it again right afterward, especially when people are talking. Like that line with Giles where he says the flight isn't due for a few hours, then right after it says that the flight comes in two hours. That's a bit of a tough read, but it's nice otherwise. Just brush up on subtle differences, like what "your" is in comparison to "you're".
Review By [Mathais
] • Date [23 Dec 06] • Rating [7 out of 10]