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Magical Justice PART ONE: Green

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Review of chapter "Chapter Four" from willboon
Review:
great story i hope you continue it
Review By [willboon] • Date [15 Mar 12] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Four" from LFW
Review:
Nice hit and run on Albus
I do not have a problem with leaving the magical world to go to pot but what about any regular people the Moldishorts will kill?
I realize that Harry needs to be gone and that this is not a superHarry that can right all the wrongs, just that a mention of information from the Goblins and training for Harry might be added
And good verbal fights with Cordelia and Buffy the useless Slayer
Thanks
Review By [LFW] • Date [7 Oct 08] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Four" from dhampirkinfolk
Review:
I almost fell out of my chair laughing when Harry called Cordelia the poster child for date rape. But I think that was really the only good thing I have to say about this.

Harry is way overpowered. There's really no point in continuing the story once he masters his abilities. He'll be a god.

The timeline jumps too fast, you're not taking the time to develop your characters. They're shallow and completely uninteresting.

You've got lots of loose threads:

How did Cordelia's dad find out Harry was loaded? You'd think someone with the financial acumen of a goblin would be a bit more discrete with the account.

Why don't Harry and Buffy get along?

Why the hell didn't Snyder try to expel Harry for missing two weeks of school?

You mentioned that someone other than Harry could see James, but totally dropped the ball with that.

Stop updating, and go back and rewrite the four chapters you have now. There's potential here, but you're gonna have to dig for it.
Review By [dhampirkinfolk] • Date [18 Aug 08] • Rating [1 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Four" from Bobboky
Review:
good
Review By [Bobboky] • Date [10 Oct 07] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Four" from ReflectionsOfReality
Review:
Eh normally I would encourage slash all the way but I am pretty sure that that is not your kettle of fish so what about Charlie's Angels or maybe the Charmed ones(with Phoebe's advice column(Xander) or Paige's children services(Harry)) work ? Or maybe Samantha Carter from Stargate(with Harry's military memories from Hal he might be able to relate)?
I do like where this story is headed and will keep reading even if it remains gen or het(though if it gets too graphic I might skim those scenes),
~Reflections
Review By [ReflectionsOfReality] • Date [1 Sep 07] • Rating [7 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Four" from GunSmoke
Review:
Awesome story, can't wait for the next chapters.
Review By [GunSmoke] • Date [7 Jan 07] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Four" from Lin
Review:
This story seems a bit rushed, slow down a bit and give us some more details, through what the characters are doing. Show us details instead of telling us them. I especailly would like some more details about the "green lantern power" 'cause i have no idea who that super person was. Tell us some more about halloween with Xander as superman! I would like to see how that intergrated into his personality as opposed to him being Soldier guy. Also the timeline just seems mushed. Like...we just jump from scene to scene without there really being enough happning for it to have been a year or so. Sorry if this is nitpicky, but the story has such great potential that i really think you should try to work with it some more. I loved the kitten poker...i wish you had let harry play and have him set some of those poor kitties free.
Please keep writing and improving.
Review By [Lin] • Date [5 Jan 07] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Four" from mohara
Review:
Will Harry travel through one of his Key-based dimensional portals and end up in the actual DC universe? I hope poor Harry has a HAREM or multiple women fighting each other for his affection.

CROSSOVER IDEA: Harry becomes KING OF HELL after accidentally sending himself there, thus possible crossovers with Spawn, Hellboy, Ah!MyGoddess, Darkstalkers, the Savage Dragons, etc.
Review By [mohara] • Date [5 Jan 07] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Four" from TexasJack
Review:
Love the latest chapter. Will Xander be keeping the powers of superman of will the spell have given him a bit of the kryptonion DNA making him power wise more like super boy. harry kept the powers because he's a wizard. Will Xander be an untrained wizard never found because of the hellmouth and that is why he has kept the memories and maybe some of the powers.
Review By [TexasJack] • Date [5 Jan 07] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Four" from mithrilandtj
Review:
It's interesting. BUT
You're characterizations of Dumbledore & Harry's friends were WAY off. They wouldn't just give up on him like that.

I like that he decided to quit the War and move. His verbal sparring with Queen C was priceless.
Review By [mithrilandtj] • Date [5 Jan 07] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Four" from mrpage
Review:
I say cross it with Charmed and stick Xan with one of the three (four if you want to bring Prue back) sisters. They were turned into superheroes in an episode, so they shouldn't freak too much about Superman or GL thing.
Review By [mrpage] • Date [5 Jan 07] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Four" from Dreamweaver
Review:
Nnngggghhhh.....I won't mention the actual lines in this chapter, but I was kinda surprised. No matter what kind of fanfic Harry character he winds up in a fic, be he a Mobster Harry, Gangbanger Harry, Dom Harry, Sub Harry, Mis-treated Harry, Mad-At-The-World-And-Making-Sure-The-World-Knows-It Harry, or whatever, I never figured him for one to indulge in verbal low humor.
Review By [Dreamweaver] • Date [5 Jan 07] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Four" from purrfus
Review:
Still moving a bit to fast. Is this pace something you plan to maintain, or will the story slow down and offer more detail when you reach a pre-determined point?

Why does Harry dislike Buffy in this story? Did they have a fight at some point? He just doesn't like her attitude? What?

The library bit with Harry, Xander, and Willow was cute. The Milk and cookies was funny.
Review By [purrfus] • Date [5 Jan 07] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Four" from (Moderator)JoeHundredaire
Review:
Too much, too fast, with far too little story to develop it in.
Review By [(Moderator)JoeHundredaire] • Date [5 Jan 07] • Rating [1 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Three" from neverwill
Review:
Will definitely keep watching for this to see how the story goes. I'm wondering if Xander will be one of those with "potential" since he had kept part of his soldier costume in canon. If so, I'm wondering what he keeps from being Superman this time. I hope your Harry gets real friends in this since Ron and the others all proved to be so lame.
Review By [neverwill] • Date [27 Dec 06] • Rating [9 out of 10]
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