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Once Upon A Time

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Review of chapter "2. The Different Faces of Maturity" from ChosenForever
Review:
Great job with showing character development. Please update soon.
Review By [ChosenForever] • Date [30 Mar 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "2. The Different Faces of Maturity" from amusewithaview
Review:
CONTINUE! Please?
Review By [amusewithaview] • Date [27 Nov 08] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "2. The Different Faces of Maturity" from (Past Donor)sopchoppy
Review:
This is well written and has me intrigued, I hope you continue it.
Review By [(Past Donor)sopchoppy] • Date [11 Sep 08] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "2. The Different Faces of Maturity" from willayork
Review:
hmmm... interesting. and *so* not something im willing to buy into as even vaguely possible, but that wont stop me reading it!
Review By [willayork] • Date [21 Aug 07] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "2. The Different Faces of Maturity" from CharmedSlayer
Review:
Excellent work, the plot thickens. I cant wait to hear what happens next. Please do update soon
Review By [CharmedSlayer] • Date [5 Jan 07] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "2. The Different Faces of Maturity" from Lin
Review:
I'm enjoying this, i don't think i read your first version of it..and if i did then it just didn't stick with me. Either way, the story is new to me and i can't wait for what happens next. Your characterisations are great and i'm really curious about how the time thing will be delt with...especially considering the thing wiht Theo Nott...that scene we just witnessed seem'd like he was still a kid.
Please keep writing.
Review By [Lin] • Date [5 Jan 07] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "2. The Different Faces of Maturity" from KnightWulf
Review:
it was good
Review By [KnightWulf] • Date [4 Jan 07] • Rating [6 out of 10]
Review of chapter "2. The Different Faces of Maturity" from (Moderator)acs
Review:
It just gets better. :) Another well written chapter.

Although I think I can still see a little bit of the original peaking out from under the hood/bonnet -- this chapter definitely points to a much deeper story in the works. I'm really looking forward to where you are going with it.

Your Buffy/Dawn interaction is the best part of the story so far.
Review By [(Moderator)acs] • Date [4 Jan 07] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "1. Of Phone Calls and Other Matters" from Angeluslover
Review:
Buffy/Angel pairing please :)
Review By [Angeluslover] • Date [29 Dec 06] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "1. Of Phone Calls and Other Matters" from LordCorwin
Review:
No Rating on this, I need more of the story before I starting rating it ...
Review By [LordCorwin] • Date [29 Dec 06] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "1. Of Phone Calls and Other Matters" from seraphinn
Review:
This is a great start. I love the premise. Please keep going.
Review By [seraphinn] • Date [29 Dec 06] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "1. Of Phone Calls and Other Matters" from feekh
Review:
Okay, serious then. But let me get the warm fuzzies out of the way first. Great start. There I am done. Out of the system. Okay, good exposition. The scene with Buffy and Dante feel lighthearted and the added touch of Willow modifying Buffy's phone for her, ties in well with who the two of them are to each other.
I like the almost leisurely exploration of Dawn's bit. It is slow without becoming boring or dieing in useless decoration. And it gives just enough to intrigue the reader.
The only problme I have is with Dawn not being in on the secret meeting in the first place. She had become an integral part of the group in season seven so it feels a bit off. But not too much and the chance of seeing her sneaking in anywhere and getting caught by her sister is always an added bonus. Plus it is always possible that Giles knew she would sneak in and wanted her tohave a little fun. Unlikely but there you go.
So hope I did okay with the serious review. Will start tracking this immediately because I want to know what happens next. Sorry, warm fuzzies are hard to resist.
Comments from author:
I love the warm fuzzies! Really, I do. And you don't have to feel obligated to ignore them (because, again, I love them) in favor of a long, detailed review.

That said, I love the long, detailed reviews even more. THANK YOU! It's great to know how I'm doing, especially in the beginning (it feels so strange to say I'm in "the beginning" of this fic again; it's been so long!).

About Dawn being in the meeting...

She's never reached full Scooby status, you know? She could have, and should have, but Buffy being so protective (and in my fic, she has an even bigger reason for all of that overprotectiveness) kept her from it. It seems to me that when there's a crisis or an apocalypse, no one can be bothered to exclude Dawn when she could be useful, just because Buffy doesn't want her involved. But, then, once all the brouhaha (isn't that a lovely word?) is over, everyone remembers that the resident hero doesn't want her sister involved, and so, she gets relegated back to tag-along, again, like Andrew. I think Dawn gets that, and I think most of the other Scoobies do, too. So, you never know, you're unlikely theory about Giles might be right...he just doesn't want to get in trouble with Buffy when things are already a little tense with them.
Review By [feekh] • Date [29 Dec 06] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "1. Of Phone Calls and Other Matters" from (Moderator)acs
Review:
Other than excessive author notes (though I can understand why you have them - they are a little distracting) this new version of your story is off to a great start. The depth / potential is obvious (to me anyway) already at this point especially compared to the original. Now if you can keep that sense of whimsy intact... :)

(Note: I don't quite have your light-hearted touch but in some ways Buffy's retelling of part of her life in my story "Gypsy Tales" was inspired by her telling of her life story post-Hogwarts in your original -- which I hope you keep.)
Comments from author:
Yeah, I get pretty long-winded. From now on, the notes will be at the end of the chapter, but this time, I wanted them at the beginning because they were pretty important to me.

It's a pretty fine line I'm trying to walk right now. There are so many scenes from the original that I love, but I know from a writer's standpoint that they...well, sucked. So here's hoping that I can write this fic with the right balance of action, drama, and "whimsy" (I think that might be my new favorite word).
Review By [(Moderator)acs] • Date [29 Dec 06] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "1. Of Phone Calls and Other Matters" from Beneficia
Review:
The first chapter was well done. The only criticism I can give is that it didn't really snag my attention with a big opening that set enough to grab my interest enough so that I HAVE to know what happens next. I don't have that "WHOAH. This is awesome." feeling when I'm done reading it. But it was okay, and for a story that's going to be a long epic, sometimes you have to take the time to develop things slowly. If you want advice on how to improve it, that's all I can give. I liked the first chapter enough to read the next one when you update again, but I'm not on the edge of my seat, ya know? Other than needing a stronger hook, I can't give any other criticisms. You write well and I'm not feeling any OOCness. The little details about Buffy looking for her phone and Dawn's date add a nice touch of realism that makes the story flow better.

Beneficia
Comments from author:
I'm glad you liked it! I've always had trouble with opening chapters. To tell the truth, I did have a big opening scene planned, complete with a car chase through Rome, but I scrapped it because it didn't provide enough exposition. The pace of this story is pretty tame, in the beginning, and I hope you don't mind that, because I think it's necessary for it to work out that way.
Review By [Beneficia] • Date [28 Dec 06] • Rating [7 out of 10]
Review of chapter "1. Of Phone Calls and Other Matters" from spk
Review:
I'm definitely intrigued. I never had the opportunity to read your other story, so this is a very unique idea to me. Can't wait to see where you take it. :)
Review By [spk] • Date [28 Dec 06] • Rating [7 out of 10]
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