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White House Slayer

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Review of chapter "Spandex and Go-Go Boots" from heavymetalman
I love how its practical canon on TTH that the NID ran the Initiative.
Comments from author:
Not quite, but if the two universes really did merge, it would be.
Review By [heavymetalman] • Date [18 Apr 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Spandex and Go-Go Boots" from (Current Donor)DeepBlueJoy
Sad and disappointed to hear this is so low on your list. It's a great start.

Comments from author:
Review By [(Current Donor)DeepBlueJoy] • Date [16 Sep 10] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Spandex and Go-Go Boots" from belgintei
Nice story. I was just wondering if this is now dead?
Comments from author:
No, it's just on the bottom of my writing priority list.
Review By [belgintei] • Date [24 Oct 09] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Spandex and Go-Go Boots" from traceyw
just read this story - any chance of an update as this is very well written and i love the story line!

Comments from author:
There'll be an update eventually, but probably not any time soon. Sorry about that--this is a piece on my very back burner, and there's no overarching plot to tie up, so each chapter can stand as the end until the next chapter gets written.

Thanks for reviewing!
Review By [traceyw] • Date [30 Sep 08] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Spandex and Go-Go Boots" from (Past Donor)Ponder
I'm liking this so far, for the most part.

I think you're having Josh take this too calmly. You glossed over his and Santos's reactions with this sentence, "Josh and the President-Elect were appropriately disbelieving." It's my personal preference, but I prefer to see those sorts of events/scenes written out. It shook me out of my "suspension of disbelief" when immediately after that, Josh is already to the point of mildly saying "Guess we know who’s going to be opening any sealed jars in our household." This doesn't feel like Josh to me. I know he's in a meeting with the President and the President-Elect, so it probably would be smart for him to suppress an emotional reaction and associated verbal comments, but I still missed it. Perhaps you could add some internal thought processes? It wouldn't be out of place for President Bartlett to comment on a stunned look on Josh's face. He's like that.

"Queen of Great Britain" might be technically correct, but I think most Americans would simply say "Queen of England", even the President.

You refer to Riley as "Agent" and "Captain" and "Major" in various places. It's somewhat conceivable for him to be both "Agent Finn" and have an army rank, but please be consistent about the rank. :)

You've skipped whatever reaction Josh had when the president says "No, but as I understand it you will have a superhero title." Up until that point, despite his words, it sounded like Josh was pretty sure that she was joking, and I'd expect some sort of reaction when he realizes she wasn't.

*** Ponder
Comments from author:
Thank you for taking the time to leave such a detailed review! I appreciate it a lot more than just a generic "good story!" review.

I understand your point about Josh's reaction, but please remember you're viewing that through Donna's reaction, and she's still pretty much in shock at this point. She's usually very perceptive, but at the moment not so much. And his first reaction is usually to be a smartass (the opening any sealed jars bit). Whenever I get around to writing the next part, I'll be dealing with their reactions once they've had time to process, and aren't in the White House in the presence of both the President and the President-elect.

re: Riley. Yaargh! I had no idea I'd done that. Will see what I can do to fix it.
Review By [(Past Donor)Ponder] • Date [19 Sep 07] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Spandex and Go-Go Boots" from arkeus
eh, good :-)

Glad to see this is getting farther in!
Review By [arkeus] • Date [25 Aug 07] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from RevDorothyL
I'm surprised at how well you've combined the West Wing and Buffy universes. I wouldn't have thought it, but Donna Moss as a latent potential Slayer and Toby Ziegler as a rebellious former Watcher actually makes a lot of sense, character-wise. And it also makes sense that Bartlett would've been kept out of the loop on the Initiative.

I hope there's more of this coming?
Comments from author:
Wish I could take credit for the idea, but I stole it from a story called "Donna: The Vampire Slayer", where Donna is the slayer called when Buffy dies in S5. It's entertaining, but it's got flaws; it feels like it's just an excuse to put the WW characters in Sunnydale. It was such a great idea and had such potential, I had to do something with it that was really worthy of it.
Review By [RevDorothyL] • Date [31 Dec 06] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from Dreamweaver
Y'know, something just occurred to me. Sure, catching a knife when it's thrown at you unexpectedly is surprising and go a long way for some people to proving the Slayer's abilities, but I suppose that it might be something an expert/professional juggler or knife thrower would likely be able to do. If someone needs more in the way of proof, I got a better and more impressive display (and it'd work considering the fact that they're all females and rarely get female bodybuilders). Have the new Slayer think of someone/thing/or event that makes them really angry and tell them to hit the wall or a table. I'm sure punching holes into thick walls or heavy furniture so very easily would work great.
Comments from author:
Two things. First, the knife-throwing is what Merrick uses in the movie to get Buffy to listen to him. Second, would you want to destroy furniture or walls in the White House? Especially if you're trying to keep a relatively low profile?
Review By [Dreamweaver] • Date [29 Dec 06] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from arkeus
Quite the nice beginning, though not quite what i imagine it wiill be like, given the almost military like preview we have of season 8. :p
Review By [arkeus] • Date [29 Dec 06] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from AngusH
A very interesting beginning. Toby is perfect watcher material in a way (they can't all be English can they?)

Donna certainly makes an unusual slayer, and I definitely wonder what Josh might say ...

An excellent idea and really nicely written.
Review By [AngusH] • Date [29 Dec 06] • Not Rated
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