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A Whisper in the Night.

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Review of chapter "Chapter Six." from maxthehobbit
Review:
Candy Kane isn't so bad. I had a commander named Richard Skinner, everyone called him Dick ... behind his back anyway. Guess his parents weren't thinking.

I saw it coming with the potion when someone asked how much, slayers are always 'go for it' girls. LOL it was funny she couldn't remember anything after 5 years old.


Thanks for another funny story.
Comments from author:
This one I do remember something about!

I seem to remember that this story didn't go in quite the direction I'd meant for it to go, but it didn't turn out too bad.

Cheers,
D.
Review By [maxthehobbit] • Date [11 Dec 11] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Six." from lorwen
Review:
That was awesome :)
Comments from author:
Good grief! That's an old one! I had to check back to see which story that was.

Thank-you, glad you enjoyed.

DaveT.
Review By [lorwen] • Date [19 Jun 10] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Six." from (Moderator)jrabbit
Review:
That was a great little story - lots of laughs and pop culture references. Was that a bit of bagpuss creeping in at the end there?

The only slight criticism was the dusting seemed a bit anti-climactic - she could have put up a little more of a fight before meeting Willow.
Comments from author:
Hmmm. You might be a right about the ending, must be more careful in future.

Yep I admit it, I looked it up on the official Bagpuss site! it just seemed to fit so nicely.

All the best,
Dave T.

PS; Look out for 'Wabbits!' Coming to a fanfic site near you SOON!
Review By [(Moderator)jrabbit] • Date [25 Jan 07] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Six." from avidreader
Review:
Just thought I'd add my two penneth to all the others. Nice one. Hope there's more to come from the Seattle lot before too long. This is quite a series you've got going..

Oh, BTW. I think the word you were looking for in the fight scene after the RTA is 'CROTCH'..

Like your 'Woo pert' A little girl should always have a protector.....

Regards,

Avidreader.
Comments from author:
This crotch/ crutch thing...who knows!?!? Someone here told me the words were interchangeable. To be honest I didn't realise there were two spelling! Oh-well you learn something new...

The girls from Seattle will make many more appearances, next one about the beginning of Feb I think. I'll probably keep writing them until my head explodes.

Thanks for the review,
All the best,
DaveT.

Ps; Thanks for the recommendation! Nearly missed that.
Review By [avidreader] • Date [19 Jan 07] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Six." from JoeDineen
Review:
I liked it, was a bit surprised that the alleged Social Services woman was NID, I though it was from what ever magic user was sending the nightly 'sendings'.
I have some issues with spelling in the previous chapter, to whit; span, what is it about that word that fanfic writers keep getting it wrong. from Merriam-Webster Online

Main Entry: 3span
Function: transitive verb
Inflected Form(s): spanned; span·ning
1 a : to measure by or as if by the hand with fingers and thumb extended b : MEASURE
2 a : to extend across b : to form an arch over c : to place or construct a span over
3 : to be capable of expressing any element of under given operations

Now spun

Main Entry: 1spin
Pronunciation: 'spin
Function: verb
Inflected Form(s): spun /'sp&n/; spin·ning
Etymology: Middle English spinnen, from Old English spinnan; akin to Old High German spinnan to spin and perhaps to Lithuanian spesti to set (a trap)
intransitive verb
1 : to draw out and twist fiber into yarn or thread
2 : to form a thread by extruding a viscous rapidly hardening fluid -- used especially of a spider or insect
3 a : to revolve rapidly : GYRATE b : to feel as if in a whirl : REEL
4 : to move swiftly especially on or as if on wheels or in a vehicle
5 : to fish with spinning bait : TROLL
6 a of an airplane : to fall in a spin b : to plunge helplessly and out of control
7 : to engage in spin control (as in politics)
transitive verb
1 a : to draw out and twist into yarns or threads b : to produce by drawing out and twisting a fibrous material
2 : to form (as a web or cocoon) by spinning
3 a : to stretch out or extend (as a story) lengthily : PROTRACT -- usually used with out b : to evolve, express, or fabricate by processes of mind or imagination
4 : to cause to whirl : impart spin to
5 : to shape into threadlike form in manufacture; also : to manufacture by a whirling process
6 : to set (records or compact discs) rotating on a player : PLAY
7 : to present (as information) with a particular spin
- spin one's wheels : to make futile efforts to achieve progress

Now the same source assures me that crutch and crotch are interchangeable, 'cause I was going to mention that also, since I had never come across that usage. Which is more about crotch than I realized.

You are a good writer, it is a shame to see your writing let down by little things. Don't trust spell checkers, they never spot if the wrong word is used.
Comments from author:
First, I think this is the longest review I've ever had.

Spelling is a bugger! You should have seen it when I first started doing fics...in fact I think you can if you look at some of my earlier stories.

I must say I've never heard of an alternate way of spelling 'crutch'! Then there's the English/American spelling thing that doesn't help.

Oh well the only way is up!

All the best,
DaveT.
Review By [JoeDineen] • Date [17 Jan 07] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 4." from CPTSkip
Review:
RAOTFLMAO! I love your Kennedy. Of course that was probably not the smartest thing to do. She should have had Woo-pert bite her on the ankle and then have the buzy-body try to explain to everyone how and why a teddy bear bit her. I also like the sloopy Salyer. Let us face it, not everyone does a good job at their occupation or calling. But then again, that is why Slayers are supposed to have Watchers, I guess.

Lots of funny lines in this episode, but my favorites was: “Kennedy taught me.” Willow replied as she opened the door and looked into the van, “It’s amazing what they teach at English Boarding Schools.” Lol! I look forward to more of your neat story.
Comments from author:
Thanks.

It think the end of this one is coming up soon.

All the best,
DaveT.
Review By [CPTSkip] • Date [15 Jan 07] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 4." from JoeDineen
Review:
So Candy Kane was as interested in slaying as her name would suggest. As for Ms Pollard, don't you need a court order before you can walk off with someones childern? or somethin like that? shouldn't Kennedy know this? all that expensive education and all. I don't think she should have reacted as a slayer but as a rich person (call her lawyer, and her cop friends)
Comments from author:
Not sure on American law for this one. In Britain the council Fascists who run our 'Child Services' seem to be able to do what they like, and the only way of getting your kid back is to fight them through the courts for five or six years! She was probably doing the right thing in the end, think what Willow would have done in her place!

However read on (next update about Wednesday) you'll see how it goes.

All the best,
DaveT.
Review By [JoeDineen] • Date [15 Jan 07] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Three." from (Moderator)jrabbit
Review:
Absolutely loved the Clapton reference.
Comments from author:
Gee thanks, more out today!

All ther best,
DaveT.
Review By [(Moderator)jrabbit] • Date [13 Jan 07] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Three." from CPTSkip
Review:
Neat update. I don't like the "evil things" trying to get Little Tara. I hope Willow does something very nasty to them before she sends them back to Hell. And I don't like the bitch vamp either. Lots of nasty things to slay in this story. Yeah! Lol!
Comments from author:
Don't worry the 'evil things' will be sorted...at some point in the future!

I quite liked the bitch vamp she was nicely insane!

Next update Monday I think.

All the best,
DaveT.
Review By [CPTSkip] • Date [11 Jan 07] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from Worldmaker
Review:
Heh. This is all true: I went to high school with an incredibly cool Korean kid whose name was, unfortunately, Duk Doo Doo. Perfectly reasonable name... in Korea. I also knew a girl named Santa-Maria Klaus. I am not kidding... I knew a female Santa Klaus. Her Mexican mother never put two and two together when she chose the name (dad not being present to assist in the naming).

This is a great start. Can't wait to see more.
Comments from author:
I think in Britain there are a lot of Church's and some Registrares who won't register 'Silly names', so children have some protection from their parents!

All the best,

DaveT.
Review By [Worldmaker] • Date [9 Jan 07] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from PATM
Review:
yes! I hope Tara's sense of fun survives the over protective mom. Kidding. I always enjoy your series and G.W. Can stand some leavening so my credulity is not strained.
Comments from author:
Cheers, thanks for reviewing more soon.

All the best,
DaveT.
Review By [PATM] • Date [9 Jan 07] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from CPTSkip
Review:
Nice start to another of your neat stories. You have to wonder about parents, or writers, sometimes. When dinosaurs walked the Earth and I was in grade school, there was girl in my grade named Candice Kane. Of course everyone called her Candy Kane and she didn't like it a bit. Lol! Thanks for bringing back a memory I hadn't thought about in years.
Comments from author:
We live to serve!

A the best,
DaveT
Review By [CPTSkip] • Date [9 Jan 07] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from orangemike
Review:
Re: the name Candy Kane

Some parents do that sort of thing to their kids. (I have an acquaintance named Parker who ran a comic book shop; his wife had to threaten domestic violence to prevent their firstborn being named Peter.) I used to work for the state agency which handled birth registrations, and the names that passed through my fingertips...

As Harlan Ellison once said when he heard of one bad example I'm not even gonna tell you, "No jury would convict!"
Comments from author:
How about 'Norman Conquest'? Worst ones I've heard of was children who get named after entire football teams. As you say no jury would convict!

All the best,
DaveT.
Review By [orangemike] • Date [9 Jan 07] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from JoeDineen
Review:
Good! but did you really have to call her Candy Kane?
Comments from author:
My god that was quick!

Sorry about the name...I just started to call her Candy (short for Candice) when I was thinking about the story. Kane sorta came to me later...couldn't help myself.

All the best,
DaveT.
Review By [JoeDineen] • Date [9 Jan 07] • Not Rated
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