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Review of chapter "With My Life..." from Bellaswan
loved it cant wait to read the nexst one
Review By [Bellaswan] • Date [10 Jul 08] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Me? Teach?" from purrfus
Abruptly switching between scenes may work in television and film, but written material generally requires a bit more attention to detail to flow well.

The first scene read as if it began in the middle. Was something missed when the chapter was posted?

I was going to ask how AU is this supposed to be because there is no way Dawn is qualified - with some research background, some fighting experience, and a bit of wiccan instruction - to be the DADA instructor, but then I remembered the general caliber of the professors Dumbledore generally hires and decided she would fit right in.
Review By [purrfus] • Date [3 Jun 08] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "It's Okay Daddy..." from purrfus
The length of the first chapter is wonderful, but the story somehow still seems abrupt and choppy. Did you combine sections when you posted the fic to this site?

How did you decide which scenes to include and what not to show? For instance, Spike, even as a previous acquaintance of Dumbledore's, is still a dark creature and would normally inspire some sort of reaction from the Order members. What happened when they were introduced? Did anybody else know Spike?

The meeting by chance between Dawn and Sirius reads like something JKR would write, and unfortunately she really doesn't write that well. Where there scenes that just weren't shown where Dawn and or Sirius were told they had family in the manor and might just bump into them somewhere?
Review By [purrfus] • Date [3 Jun 08] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "With My Life..." from spring
I love this fic and can't wait to read the sequle.
Review By [spring] • Date [18 May 07] • Rating [10 out of 10]
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