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The End of Azkaban 2nd Arc: Weeping the Whirlwind

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Review of chapter "Lightning the Fire 2/2" from magik
Oh, I have to wait to figure it out? Nuts! But I liked it! Thanks for the update?
Review By [magik] • Date [8 Apr 07] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Storm Warning" from (Moderator)acs
Stream of consciousness - first person point of view, which I'm assuming is what you are attempting, is tricky to pull off. I don't think this is a bad attempt but you might want to add in some descriptions of the characters surroundings (Let us see their surroundings through their eyes, not just their thoughts. It'll help flesh things out and add substance to the story.)
Comments from author:
Thanks I try. What I'm attempting is more of an exploration of author/character empathy. I'm attempting to feel what they feel and think how they think. If one of the character's whose point of view I'm writing decides to examine an object or a room in great detail then it's description will be written into the story.
Review By [(Moderator)acs] • Date [10 Mar 07] • Not Rated
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