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No Longer the Zeppo

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Review of chapter "Chapter 9" from RedCalypso
Review:
I know absolutely nothing about the Kindred, but I like this crossover. It's good to see Xander fulfill his potential. I would kind have liked to see Tara chew the others out though. One small quibble, Xander's mother is named Jessica, not Marie.
Comments from author:
Thank you for the review. Its been a while since I wrote this piece. Yeah, I found out his mother's name long after I wrote this (and the second story - which I think I might have changed her name to Mary). Its wrong and I know it. My bad. Thanks for the interest and I greatly appreciate it. Have a wonderful and blessed day.

Cheers!
Review By [RedCalypso] • Date [8 Jan 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 9" from Elleria
Review:
Love this, going to read the sequel now.
Review By [Elleria] • Date [25 Jun 10] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 2" from Vassago
Review:
Cordelia, nor Cordillia.

You do know that the Gangrel are the Beast Clan, right? Not the "passionate, gypsy" clan. The Toreador would probably be the closest to passionate gypsies you can get.
Review By [Vassago] • Date [4 May 10] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 9" from Obsidian
Review:
Very well written. I look forward to reading the others in the series.
Comments from author:
I hope you enjoy them! Also, just incase you ask, no I haven't forgotten the 4th installment. Its just been put on hold...thanks for reading and reviewing.
Review By [Obsidian] • Date [17 Aug 08] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 9" from MistieMossflower
Review:
Great story. ^_^
Comments from author:
Thank you very much. Glad you thought so.

Cheers!
Review By [MistieMossflower] • Date [1 Mar 08] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 9" from Intermundia
Review:
Anticlimatic, yes. But satisfying. And the right place to end.

Will probably check out the sequel. Owe this story that much since it helped me get off the edge.
Comments from author:
It helped you get off the edge? Edge of what? Oh dear...

Anyway, as I am sure you know by now, your questions will be answered in the other stories. Its anti-climatic, but that is because I had the second story already set up when I finished this one. Thanks for reading and reviewing.
Review By [Intermundia] • Date [9 Dec 07] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 6" from Intermundia
Review:
Wow! This is great. Good characterization and writing. It's not the usual storyline but still the "No Longer the Zeppo"-stereotype.
This is not comedy, nor action or mystery. No complicated plot but still imaginative.Hope you win a characterization award.
Comments from author:
This was just the first story of the series and my first BTVS story. Its not complicated, but I think it deals more with how people treated (the characters and the writers of the show) treated the character of Xander. Plus I really hated seasons 5-7 and what they did to the character (though I will admit to loving Xander's reaction to Anya after she finally lost her status as a vengence demon for good). Plus all of this was a way for me to deal with my frustrations and anger over somethings in my life.

Thanks for the encouragement and I hope I win too (is it bad form to shamelessly self-plug?), but if I don't, at least I was nominated. That in itself makes me happy.

Again, thanks and check out the other stories. There is more action and humor and whatnot in the others. I think the 5th story - at least parts of it amused me to death - and you can usually tell what I have been watching or listening to lately with my writing. Thanks for the review. It is appreciated. Later!
Review By [Intermundia] • Date [9 Dec 07] • Rating [7 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 2" from Intermundia
Review:
Nice! This ones got potential. Like where you're going and that this is outside of Sunnydale. It gives a whole different perspective. I'm gonna continue reading this and see what happens. I'm not familiar with Kindred so it should be interesting.
I'll rate the entire story in a couple of chapters.
Comments from author:
Thank you very much for reading and reviewing. Just remember that there are other stories in the series, so if this doesn't answer a few questions you may have, you might find the answers in the other ones. Thanks once again!
Review By [Intermundia] • Date [9 Dec 07] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 9" from Ansku
Review:
Good one :)
Comments from author:
I'm glad that you think so. Also, you might want to check out the other stories within the NLTZ universe and under TAO's profile is a 5th story called Hunted that fits in with my universe - its really funny btw. Thanks for reading and reviewing. I do appreciate it. Take care!
Review By [Ansku] • Date [10 Oct 07] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 9" from Yojo
Review:
Overall, your idea is well fleshed out and flows fairly nicely. I was pleasantly surprised by how you constructed the crossover, thinking and planning events out instead of jumping into Vamp!Xander. Very nice job with the storyline overall.

However, your dialogue is stilted at times, jumping from point to point instead of flowing naturally. It will get better in time, but you might want to focus on that area. Additionally, sometimes when you are attempting to convey emotions, it comes out very awkward. For example, don't just say that "he was pissed": Show it by describing that "he could feel his blood pressure rising in response to Buffy's accusations" or something like that. You have the right direction, but work on being more verbose.

Great start to writing, just keep practicing these areas.

Good work.
Comments from author:
It was my first BTVS crossover. I think since then, I've learned somethings and am getting better at proofing my own crap. I'm not saying its pefect, but I've learned since I started writing this series.
Review By [Yojo] • Date [30 Jul 07] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 3" from MBB
Review:
While I'm not familiar with Kindred, I've once read a nice (unfinished) crossover fic's with it, and decided o give it a try.
I was curious what you meant with 'guys being made weaker' and how you would compensate for that in the fic.
Also you had a lot of positive reviews.

While I recognize the habit to make characters weaker to make others stronger (Spike), they avoiding it in the first 4, and were specially good in the first 2 seasons.
Xander was physically 'weak', yes, but that was how his character was written - weaker then the jocks and sport guys, but stronger then Willow, they all were weaker then vampires, and Buffy was about as strong as they were because she was the Slayer.
But none of that mattered, because most battles were fought with their brains (knowledge, determination, caring), in which they all excelled in different area's.

I agree that Xander became a lot less physically effective after S4, for which I blame the Zeppo-effect; the writers thought it was better to make fun *of* him then jokes *with* him (Jane Espenson), and Marti Noxon preferred had never watched Season 1 so missed the foundation of his character.
(Story wise; Cordelia encouraged him to take risks to impress her, Anya warned him not to take risks because she wanted him back in one piece)


QUOTE: [To make another character or person appear weak to emphasize the “strength” of another is cheap and a weakness in the writing.]

I agree, but the Hyena crap cheapens his character just as much. He's good enough being a normal guy in the show, and it has nothing to do with the story, so no need for it. It only gives him tools to make it easier for him to do the things he did in the show without superpowers.
Giving your intro, can you perhaps explain to me why people feel the need to give Xander hyena-instincts or soldier-skills, when he has shown over and over again that he has enough of both naturally from himself?


'Cordillia' must be 'Cordelia'; an important name misspelled in the very first line, and the name is used enough times on this website to easily look up.

[QUOTE]She wasn’t skeletal-skinny, like Buffy, but thin and strong, more like Faith.[/QUOTE]

incorrect, in contrary to Xander-Canon, and unnecessary prejudged.
SMG did not get 'skinny' till S5/6, and Xander has liked that type of girls (Buffy, Willow?, Anya) so he would not likely think negative of looking like that.

On the up side (so far):
I'm especially glad that you kept his parents somewhat normal (for the Xander-leaves genre anyway).

And you picked a good time for him to feel estranged of his friends as the fallout of Spike playing them against each other can hardly be immediately forgotten, and in combination with some misunderstandings and wrong words at the wrong time could easily have Xander overreact.

Unfortunately you overplayed it by far when you had Buffy raving at him, which may have been how he felt, but she would not have thought/said (until season 6/7 anyway, when everybody was so out of canon that they can hardly be judged by it).


So I'm sorry, but I'm not continuing to read this story.
Comments from author:
Well, we'll have to agree to disagree (though I very much disagree about how freaking skinny SMG was throughout the series - the girl should have been given a sandwich or two). It was nice that you gave it a try. Oh well.

I will totally admit that some of the ranting came from a very pissy attitude of mine at the time. I was seriously pissed at several people at work and the story helped me vent some of that anger - least I end up beating the living crap out of the assholes that so deserved it.

But in the end, I had fun with the story and am still having fun with the series. Take care and thanks for at least giving it a chance - even though you only went to the 3rd chapter of the story. So be it.
Review By [MBB] • Date [6 Jul 07] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 9" from CedarPineSpruce
Review:
I enjoyed this very much, and am delighted that the sequel is already posted. *hugs*
Comments from author:
I am so glad to hear that. *hugs*

FYI, I am currently posting another NLTZ story (not #3 in the series). check it out if you want and let me know what you think.

Thank you again!
Review By [CedarPineSpruce] • Date [17 Apr 07] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 9" from (Recent Donor)drdeth
Review:
Great story, I look forward to the sequel. I hope there will be fun and games when Buffy & the others find out about Xander been Embraced
Comments from author:
Oh, lots of fun and games for everyone in the next story. I promise! It will be darker but still not evil. Maybe...heehee. Thanks for the review. It is appreciated!
Review By [(Recent Donor)drdeth] • Date [24 Mar 07] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 9" from Bobboky
Review:
: )
Comments from author:
Funny!
Review By [Bobboky] • Date [24 Mar 07] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 9" from tamsin2
Review:
I have loved this story and can't wait for the sequel. Independent!Xander is the best!! I wish I could write during staff meetings, but there are only four other people in there.
Comments from author:
Its hard when there are only a few of you in a meeting. I would suggest practicing the art of being in a waking coma. Its a great defense against bordum.

Thank you for the review. the sequel should be up sometime next week - Monday maybe.
Review By [tamsin2] • Date [24 Mar 07] • Rating [10 out of 10]
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