Review of chapter "Chapter One" from RevDorothyL
Very cute vignette, and I'll be eager to see if you continue with this "intersection" of Clark Kent, down-and-out Perry White, Willow, Dawn, and Buffy.
There were just a few errors I noticed, including "painful scream of mental contortions," when I'm sure you meant METAL contortions, and the kind of mistakes everybody misses in proof-reading, like "and" when you mean "an". Also, I'm more used to seeing Buffy's nickname for her sister spelled "Dawnie", rather than "Donny" (I thought at first Buffy was comparing Clark to an Osmond!).
Comments from author:
Thanks for your comment. This was a twenty minute challenge slipped in between studying for a Chem midterm and sleeping, so I expected errors. Thanks for pointing them out, it's always good to know that there's a nitpicker on my case.
I started spelling Dawn's name "Donny" because microsoft underlines "Dawnie". I don't like little red squiggles and I've never bothered adding it to the dictionary, but look! I've fixed it now!
I don't know if I'm going to keep going with this... maybe once university stops chewing obsessively on my leg and I finally get some time of my own.
Review By [RevDorothyL
] • Date [20 Mar 07] • Rating [9 out of 10]