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When Bad Things Get worse

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Review of chapter "What you doing over the Holidays?" from AtotheM
Review:
Interesting story. I like how quickly it moves. I hope you pick it up again, someday. :)
Review By [AtotheM] • Date [16 Oct 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from Scathach
Review:
I really liked it, but you might want to look at the class list. There's no Professor for charms.
Review By [Scathach] • Date [2 Jun 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "What you doing over the Holidays?" from themadhatter
Review:
Awesome, but 8 months is a long time...
Review By [themadhatter] • Date [14 Oct 10] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "What you doing over the Holidays?" from nightshadowlife
Review:
awesome, can't wait to see what happens next!!!
Review By [nightshadowlife] • Date [11 Mar 10] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "What you doing over the Holidays?" from (Past Donor)Fritolays
Review:
Like the story so far :)
Review By [(Past Donor)Fritolays] • Date [8 Mar 10] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "What you doing over the Holidays?" from immortalsilence
Review:
oooohhhhh more chapters pretty please
Review By [immortalsilence] • Date [20 Feb 10] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "What you doing over the Holidays?" from FireWolfe
Review:
Nice
Review By [FireWolfe] • Date [18 Feb 10] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from (Recent Donor)Luna
Review:
I would like to introduce you to Miss Buffy Summers. She is in Slytherin but I hope you will be friends with her." He looked at her reaction. Buffy just smiled at her. "Please don't think she's evil. She was placed in Slytherin because she is the slayer. It's just the magic that she hold's put her there."
--------------------------- Whoa, now. I tried to ignore the many grammatical errors and spelling mistakes but now you're toying with things too much. Dumbledore, of all people, would never excuse Buffy for being a Slytherin because of 'slayer magic' and that she is not 'evil'.

I want to encourage you to closely examine your story and either find a beta or go over your story several times for before posting it. If you do that and flesh out the story you could have a fun fic. Just put some more time into it.

Good luck :)
Review By [(Recent Donor)Luna] • Date [18 Feb 10] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from blackroze
Review:
plz plz plz continue
Review By [blackroze] • Date [10 Apr 08] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from lilcutie
Review:
please update soon
Review By [lilcutie] • Date [15 Sep 07] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from spring
Review:
This fic is a bit confusing however I do like it so far please continue this fic as soon as posable.
Review By [spring] • Date [11 Jul 07] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from Lin
Review:
Needs a little work. Try reading the story aloud to yourself and hopefully it will help you with the "flow" of the story.
This is an interesting idea though if you are willing to improve on it and try to make it work.
Review By [Lin] • Date [30 Mar 07] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from immortalsilence
Review:
ok loving the fic,can Buffy please corrupt Malfoy into her way of thinking,more chapters pretty please
Review By [immortalsilence] • Date [29 Mar 07] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from mithrilandtj
Review:
I think it would've been better if the other kids (especially the Slytherins) hadn't remembered her from before.
Review By [mithrilandtj] • Date [28 Mar 07] • Rating [7 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from (Current Donor)JanessaRavenwood
Review:
Several points:

* Hogwarts is a boarding school, not a “bordering” school.
* It’s “11 years of age,” not “11 years of old.”
* If Hogwarts was an hour away from London, the Hogwarts Express would not an hours-long journey to the Hogsmeade station.
* While Buffy *can* be a derivative of Elizabeth, Buffy’s name from birth is Buffy Anne Summers in canon, not Elizabeth Anne Summers. What fan fiction author started this, I have no idea.

There are numerous other errors (mostly grammatical), but that will do as a starter list. The flow of the story is also rather choppy.

You badly need a beta reader and greater command of the English language.
Review By [(Current Donor)JanessaRavenwood] • Date [28 Mar 07] • Rating [3 out of 10]
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