Large PrintHandheldAudioRating
Twisting The Hellmouth Crossing Over Awards - Results
Rules for Challenges

A not so pleasant Existance

StoryReviewsStatisticsRelated StoriesTracking
Review of chapter "A new beginning" from QundraDraconum
I'm not sure what crawled up the butts of some of the other reviewers but I liked your story. Yes, Harry was only in his own past for a few chapters, but he knew what needed to be fixed there and how to do it, so everything was much more straight forward. In the Buffy universe things are much more confused, with bad guys that are needed for the good side and good guys who believe in a balance tipped toward evil that do evil things for unknown good reasons. While there are some plot points that I disagree with, like Luna's second impregnation, and Harry's trust in Giles so early, I do like where you seem to be going and the plot in general. Your writing style could be more detailed, but I've read much much worse. The only thing I hate is that you left the story on a cliffhanger. I hope your life improved since your last review reply and that you get back to writing at some point. Good luck.
Review By [QundraDraconum] • Date [19 Jun 11] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "A new beginning" from MarcusSLazarus
Interesting idea, even if I feel your use of personal relationships are a real mess.

If nothing else, Harry going to all the effort of travelling back in time to save those who died in the war against Voldemort only to subsequently leave that entire reality doesn’t EXACTLY give the impression that he had any real connection to them...

Plus, of course, I’m REALLY ambiguous about his ‘controlled time travel’ to the extent that he created an entire backstory for himself in this universe; you’re coming up with POTENTIALLY good ideas, but you’re not paying them the attention and detail they deserve to fully explore how he set them all up (And don’t even get me STARTED on the ease with which he’s settled himself into the gang like that; you’d think that a FEW more people would be thinking that Harry’s too good to be true)....

In essence, you have good ideas, but you’re expressing them poorly.
Comments from author:
Thanks for the review. Ive been really meaning to do a rewrite, but RL has been horrible for the past few years.
Review By [MarcusSLazarus] • Date [19 May 10] • Rating [5 out of 10]
Review of chapter "A new beginning" from Bobboky
Review By [Bobboky] • Date [11 Oct 09] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "A new beginning" from lordamnesia
Wow, just wow. This story is amazing. Depressing with a side of dark, anxious terror that grips Harry as he is trying to right the world so things don't go horribly wrong. Keep up the fantastic work!
Review By [lordamnesia] • Date [12 Sep 09] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Some things old, some new" from Roosterman
I was reading along, enjoying the first couple of chapters, when you had a fourteen-year-old Harry Potter impregnate a thirteen-year-old Luna Lovegood. Hell, even if she's a new fourteen, that's getting a little ridiculous. I know the harem thing is fun, but Harry and Hermione are both the equivalent of American high school freshmen, and by that reckoning, Luna and Ginny would still be in junior high. I'm most definitely not the kind to pretend teens don't have sex, but doing so at thirteen is really pushing it.
Review By [Roosterman] • Date [30 Mar 09] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "A new beginning" from (Past Donor)JoeHundredaire
It's all too convenient; you're sitting with a viewer's perspective and going around fixing everything that made the series interesting. You can't have a story without conflict, whether it be man vs. man, man vs. nature, or man vs. self. In the Harry Potter universe you turned everything into Sugarplum Land within a few chapters and in Buffy, the best you've managed is the thoroughly useless and uninformed Council plotting, when we all know they'll get stomped when they try something. On top of that, your writing skills could really use some work. I recommend a beta and quite possibly a comprehensive rewrite.
Comments from author:
Oh, sorry you didn't like it. I really like your stories though, keep up the good work.
Review By [(Past Donor)JoeHundredaire] • Date [19 Mar 09] • Rating [1 out of 10]
Review of chapter "A new beginning" from Sunstar
Arriving at the past with an entrance. Only errors I noticed were at the end. She slipped (unnoticed) out of the castle, heading into the forest to talk to some (of very) interesting plants this dimension had to offer. The spell checker has un-noticed like unnoticed, and your missing the the between of and very. *edit* okay i noticed two more things. Being (indepently) wealthy, he didn’t have to work, so days like this were easy to get by with. should be spelled as independently and (Thru) it all he never lost consciousness, would be through.
Review By [Sunstar] • Date [19 Mar 09] • Rating [1 out of 10]
Review of chapter "When she was bad" from MrPowell
would really love to see more
Review By [MrPowell] • Date [8 Jul 08] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "When she was bad" from Jarvey
I'd really like to see more out of this... I don't suppose you're going to continue it?
Comments from author:
Hi and I'm glad you like it. Right now my job has me working out of town for weeks at a time. When I do get back in, I have so much stuff to do, I can't sit down and write. I'm hoping to get a laptop to replace one I lost a year ago. Once I do, I can write while away and hopefully get some new posts up. The chapters I have written so far but not uploaded need alot of revision and then send to the beta, which I just haven't had the time to do.
Hopefully, within a few weeks I'll get back up and running.
Have a safe New Years!!
Review By [Jarvey] • Date [29 Dec 07] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "When she was bad" from MrPowell
so plan on continuing this at some time? it looks really good.
Comments from author:
Sorry didn't reply sooner, but yes I will once I get some things ironed out. RL is being a hassle right now. Thanks
Review By [MrPowell] • Date [19 Nov 07] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "When she was bad" from arkeus
A bit awkward and rushed, but more or less good. Weird that harry has no idea that people can use magics in this world, in particular willow :/
Thanks for the update :-)

Edit: so harry think it's better to be under the radar than to learn how to use magic in a more controlled way? Oh, and what i meant about willow is that he could have wanted to teach her *before* she does the resouling, kind of to balance her karma and so on. And to control her wild side.
Comments from author:
Im sorry if it seems that way, but he knows. He just wanted to keep it a secret. He wanted to stay under the other magic users radar so to speak.
Willow of course starts to come out of her magic shell later on, especially when she did the re-souling for Angel.
Review By [arkeus] • Date [4 May 07] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Summer" from arkeus
Much better written. Interesting, too. I wonder who the girl is, maybe dawn? no, he would have known... i guess maybe tara :-)

I Really don't like the game the powers are playing.
Comments from author:
The girl will show herself later on. Of course no one likes the powers, except themselves.
Review By [arkeus] • Date [4 May 07] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Summer" from NoLifeKing
I really enjoy reading this. :-)

With Harry there I wonder how much will change.
Comments from author:
Its odd. I am writing most chapters based off the series. There are some inbetween chapters that will show some changes, but most will be in the episode based chaps. I got my final draft of 10, but felt it was too short so I am trying to flesh it out. Expect it middle to late next week. 11 the week after with 12 to follow soon after.
Review By [NoLifeKing] • Date [26 Apr 07] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Summer" from Thedruid
Now that chapter shook things up. 'The Girl' told him that he wouldn't be able to do anything, and yet he has. How is this going to change the balance. And what is Illinyria doing while all this is going on anyway? Just fast-forwarding to the future to see if her plotting worked?
Comments from author:
The answers will come out within the next few chapters. Illyria is up to something, but it's not revealed till about chapter 18 or so.
Review By [Thedruid] • Date [26 Apr 07] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "The Balance" from AnnOfMidnight
Weird story. Of course, I read most of it... It moves so fast, you get caught up. Pet peeve though, Ginny's name is Ginny. The whole Ginevra thing is fanon, just like some people deciding Buffy's name is Elizabeth. JK Rowling has actually answered this question often (so has Joss, for Buffy's name). I'll read the last chapter when I get home I think.

Edited to say: No way! I thought when she said 'Ginny is not a nickname' she ment it was really her name. I guess she meant it's a dirivative of Ginevra! Well, at least I'm right about Buffy's name not being Elizabeth (it's a dirivative of Elizabeth, but her actual real name on her birth certificate and headstone read Buffy Anne as you've just said). Cool. So you said you're going to make a lot of changes to the Buffy 'verse, huh? So when are you going back? And how are you going to get Illyria out of the deeper well? Inquiring minds want to know...
Comments from author:
Thats true, I'm weird, so is my writing. Seriously though, I wanted to move quickly thru the pre story. This is mainly the difference that Harry will try to make to the BTVS world. I always thought Buffs name was Buffy Anne. Gin though I got from JK's site itself.
Try this link above.
Otherwise I hope everyone including you is enjoying the story. Chapter 9 will be up within a week, hopefully this weekend.
Review By [AnnOfMidnight] • Date [24 Apr 07] • Not Rated
Page: 1 of 2 next end
StoryReviewsStatisticsRelated StoriesTracking