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Dawn the Vampire Slayer

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Review of chapter "Rules for Dodgeball" from maxthehobbit
Review:
Wow I see you've taken quite a bit of criticism for using Buffy's blood to make Dawn a slayer. I don't agree with them. There are so many pairs of 'whatever they're called' and scientists have barely scratched the surface so far. Could be that Dawn was like a potential since she already had Buffy's blood in her and receiving the transfusions activated her. At any rate you should be given credit for wring something original. Good Job!

LOL rules for dodge ball
Review By [maxthehobbit] • Date [15 Feb 12] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Rules for Dodgeball" from Dapsy
Review:
You really had me amused for a bit here :D
Review By [Dapsy] • Date [3 Dec 10] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Rules for Dodgeball" from (Current Donor)kribby
Review:
Hi,

I liked the energy and just 'cuteness' of your story. Your logic was a trifle skewed-- but points for trying something different.

-K
Comments from author:
Thanks for the review.
And thanks for high rating.
Sometimes parts of a story work and sometimes they don't. But I was just having fun with it, and I don't recall ever reading anything about a DtVS story (but that doesn't mean there aren't any).
Review By [(Current Donor)kribby] • Date [17 Jun 07] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Rules for Dodgeball" from Dragonelf
Review:
Nice story all the way to the end of it.
Comments from author:
Thanks.
A lot of criticism about some of the details, but overall, I think it was pretty good.
Thinking about sequel (it seems like some stories need/cry out for one). We'll have to see.

Thanks again
Review By [Dragonelf] • Date [3 Jun 07] • Rating [7 out of 10]
Review of chapter "What Was She thinking?" from Dragonelf
Review:
The story is nice so far. By the way, you might wish to fix the incorrectly closed bold tag at the end of this chapter.

::Feeds the plot bunny::
Comments from author:
Glad you like it.

But the end T B C is the same for all six chapters.
Review By [Dragonelf] • Date [1 Jun 07] • Rating [6 out of 10]
Review of chapter "The Flu, or Something Worse" from Bobboky
Review:
nice
Review By [Bobboky] • Date [30 May 07] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Three. Two. One. GO!" from (Past Donor)Snag
Review:
Oh, fun stuff. I can already hear Buffy's gray hairs a-growin'. ::Chuckle::
Review By [(Past Donor)Snag] • Date [29 May 07] • Rating [7 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Three. Two. One. GO!" from AnnOfMidnight
Review:
I like how enthused Dawn is. She got like that on the show sometimes and it was very endearing. I can just see her be like 'come on, throw a knife at me!' with a huge smile on her face.
Comments from author:
The never-ending optimism of youth!! May it always be!!
Review By [AnnOfMidnight] • Date [28 May 07] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Three. Two. One. GO!" from Bobboky
Review:
cool
Review By [Bobboky] • Date [28 May 07] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Room 314" from littleoldme
Review:
I appreciate the fact that you don't feel like you have to put dialogue tags on every quotation- so many authors do that, and sometimes, simplicity is better. I also like how dialogue heavy this is so far- that always helps to keep me interested in a fic. Once Buffy isn't quite so frantic, I hope her dialogue takes on more of a Buffy tone. Right now, everyone sounds pretty generic, and especially in a dialogue-heavy fic, it's essential to get the characters down in their manner of speech, which seem to be absent in this bit- Dawn's line after she woke up seemed particularly stale. This is the girl who talks about having a rumbly tummy and sings songs about anchovies- she sounds a little too detached and grown up in her appraisal of herself, even if she is dazed by what happened.

I'm also having a few problems with the feasibility of the fic. I can totally buy that Dawn's blood (which we KNOW has mystical properties) might make a transfusion from a normal person difficult, even if that is a little bit of a stretch. What I can't buy is that somehow, the doctor recorgnizes this by looking at medical tests. No doctor would ever say something like "She has one of the rarest blood types I've seen," because in the medical world, there's a very small number of possibilities. If he'd said something more along the lines of "Her blood type is AB, but she began seizing when we started the infusion," then I would have bought it, but there's no way a doctor is going to look at her blood test and go "Oh yes, very rare." The only thing a blood test would show them is the type, and if it showed any abnormalities, those would confuse the doctor greatly. In any case, the doctor's reaction seems off. You'd buy a lot of realism points if the doctor just said that there had been a huge accident on the freeway, and they were low on AB- or something like that.

The other thing I'm kind of iffy about is the idea that Buffy's blood could make Dawn a slayer. First off, we're told in season five that Buffy and Dawn already HAVE the same blood. "It's Summers blood. It's just like mine. She's me. The monks made her out of me." It's kind of hard to buy that being MADE out of Buffy didn't give Dawn slayer powers, but getting a blood infusion would. The other problem you run into here is that the source of the slayer's power is mystical, and you're going to have to do some fancy tap dancing to explain how a physical transfusion could transfer mystical power- especially slayer power, since it typically transfers only at death (or when there's a scythe and a super powerful wicca involved). Also, it's canon that slayer power can only be transferred to someone who's a potential, and depending on when this goes AU, Dawn's not a potential, so even if there was any power in Buff's blood, it shouldn't do anything for her. And lastly, if slayer power could be transferred by a blood transfusion, don't you think the Watcher's Council would have figured that out and built themselves an army of slayers by now? And what about all the times a slayer's blood has splashed onto someone else's open cut?

There's some canon reasons to think that there's power in the blood of a slayer and that a blood transfusion might do something. After all, Angel had to drink a slayer's blood to cure him after being poisoned in season three, so there has to be something mystical there. And then there was the episode where Buffy got splashed with demon blood and inherited the aspect of the demon for a little while. Plus the convenient "it's in the blood" line. But as much as these things can help with the "blood has mystical properties" stance, you still run into a lot of problems given the rest of the canon. You might be able to make it work if somehow, the only reason this works is because Dawn is the key and made of Buffy, and somehow, the keys properties interact with the slayer blood to give Dawn new powers. Or maybe, since Dawn was made of Buffy, there was some kind of dampening spell on the "slayer aspect" and the blood transfusion served to remove it.

There are ways this can be done, but tread carefully! A simple "blood transfusion, therefore power transfusion" explanation won't hold much water, and the unrealistic comments by the doctor in the first chapter made me worry a bit that you might not take the time to flesh out the logic within the established set of rules for anything else either.
Comments from author:
A lot to comment about.

Not being a professional author, I admit sometimes (probably MOST of the time) my dialog may not be as good ol' Joss would write it. But when I get an idea, I want to get to the heart of the story, so some things (such as dialog and perhaps clarity) tend to suffer. When reading other fanfics I try to overlook the obvious shortcomings of the story if the plot line is interesting or intriguing. So it's very likely this colors my own writing.

And about the blood thing. I always encourage criticism, but considering that this is a story about vampires, a vampire slayer, a witch, and magic, I think there is entirely too much quibbling about just how "possible" it is that Buffy's blood could infuse Dawn with slayer abilities.

Also, I'm not trying to be brusque or unappreciative that you took the time to write the review, but if the details of the story are so annoying that it prevents any enjoyment from it, then my only suggestion is to stop just reading it.
Review By [littleoldme] • Date [27 May 07] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Room 314" from (Moderator)Kiwikatipo
Review:
You've called chapter two-chapter two. I find it easier to follow a story if the chapters are named and you did in the first one.

There is something somewhat perfunctionary about your writing style. Feedback, okay?
Comments from author:
No problem naming the chapters.
Not sure what you mean by perfunctionary (it doesn't seem to be in any online dictionaries).
I have no problem with feedback, in fact, I encourage it.
Review By [(Moderator)Kiwikatipo] • Date [27 May 07] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Room 314" from Bobboky
Review:
nice
Review By [Bobboky] • Date [27 May 07] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Room 314" from ArthurHansen
Review:
A little short, but a nice premise and interesting buildup!
Comments from author:
Some chapters are shorter than others. I don't believe in padding a chapter just to keep it the same length as a previous or a following chapter.
Review By [ArthurHansen] • Date [27 May 07] • Rating [7 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Not Many Slayers Named Summers" from Bobboky
Review:
good
Comments from author:
Thank you.
Review By [Bobboky] • Date [27 May 07] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Not Many Slayers Named Summers" from CPTSkip
Review:
You've got my attention and interest. I look forward to seeing where you go with this story.
Comments from author:
Thanks.
Don't know if you've read any of the reviews, but apparantly I've created a bit of a controversy with the "rare blood" thing.
Hope you enjoy the rest of the story.
Review By [CPTSkip] • Date [27 May 07] • Not Rated
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