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Landslide

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Review of chapter "The landslide will bring you down" from (Moderator)Ava
Review:
Word of warning; if you write a character repetitively then they will eventually become repetitive. Yes, your Dawn left a lot to be desired but at least your tried and first attempts usually aren't very pretty. Also you might want mark this story as incomplete because you don’t have a real ending just an author’s note.
Comments from author:
Tha's good advice and I understand what you mean, more than I would have say a year ago.

"Yes, your Dawn left a lot to be desired but at least your tried and first attempts usually aren't very pretty."

Thank you very much for that.

I marked it complete because it is finished never to be touched it again and if I marked it incomplete I feel that might give false hope to someone I might continue it one day.
Review By [(Moderator)Ava] • Date [28 Jun 07] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "The landslide will bring you down" from (Past Donor)Charlotte
Review:
LOL

Rocks fall,

Everyone Dies.

hee
Review By [(Past Donor)Charlotte] • Date [12 Jun 07] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "The landslide will bring you down" from AllenPitt
Review:
Gee. I figured both Oz & Nina were killing. oh, well...... but meanwhile the true evil goes un-noticed. Embezzling from the christmas fund?!.....
yes, you seem to like writing about Faith more--stick to what you like, writing these should be fun, not a chore...
Next up on Faith--hey did she have any siblings? Maybe not by the same mother, but same father? Could be fun....
Comments from author:
Christmas Club fraud - Yeah the bureaucracy of the council interested me more than Sam and Dawn's romance. the warning bells were ringing.

And I shall stick to Faith because to my shame I can't write about anyone else. I'm a one note failure!!! Bursts into distraught tears (no just kidding about the tears -true about not being able to write about anyone but Faith - bursts into tears for bloody real this time)

And sniff siblings? I was thinking about a 'the departed' XO one day set in Boston where (gulp gulp sniff) Faith's related to the Costigans, but I need to finish my HP saga first. Writing about Amy and Charlie Weasley outsmarting Dracula will cheer me up. (Blows nose.)

Thank you very much for reviewing, Allen (Bursts into tears with the trauma of it all again.)
Review By [AllenPitt] • Date [11 Jun 07] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "The landslide will bring you down" from DemonChildeKyra
Review:
Wow..okay. Interesting ending. Though I think I agree on Sam and Dawn not really having any chemistry in this one. Oh well, its okay. Faith-centric stories are great and are some of my favorite to read! I can't wait to read your next Faith story!
Comments from author:
No Sam and Dawn had no chemistry. And it was so weird because I thought cold bloodly I'll put them together whereas normally I think wow Bridget Jones and Xander would be so hot together or Faith and Alec from Dark Angel are made for one another, Giles and Anya are the OTP of BtVs etc.

And I kept imagining their S & D first kiss which is always a magical moment (no matter how much I ruin it by describing how people ate cheese and onion sandwiches before hand because I'm a realist )to write about and it just seemed a chore why the hell would they?

And I couldn't make anything funny...

Oh it's too horrible - I need a lie down I feel so ill about the road kill of that story.

Thank you for the review and encouragement.
Review By [DemonChildeKyra] • Date [11 Jun 07] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "The landslide will bring you down" from aja
Review:
aww I was enjoying it
Comments from author:
I'm sorry, I so so sorry. But I've never enjoyed writing a fanfic less in my life and it all started in chapter one really. I'm sorry again oh please forgive me!
Review By [aja] • Date [10 Jun 07] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "'Cause I built my life around you" from JennyLal
Review:
I'd imagine Buffy wakes up every morning and regrets not letting Dawn jump off that damn tower. She's so whiny. Jo as a watcher makes sense. It was unreasonable of her mother to raise her with all that knowledge and then expect her to keep away from hunting. Looking forward to reading how they save Dean.
Comments from author:
Thank you for illuminating me as to the whininess with which I have portrayed Dawn. Oh god this story needs to be taken into a back paddock and shot mercifully in the head.
Review By [JennyLal] • Date [10 Jun 07] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "'Cause I built my life around you" from DemonChildeKyra
Review:
Gods, poor Dawn! Her life is like mega-depressing right now! I hope things get better for her! And wow, Nina's a bitch! I mean isn't there a more mature way to deal with the situation, like hiring a hit-man...Oh wait, no, that's not more mature, it just means you have more money. Never mind.

Anyway, I really liked the chapter, even if Dawn's life did screwed over. I can't wait to see Sam's reaction to the posters and what happens next! More soon, please?
Comments from author:
Yes you're right the whole chapter is mega depressing.

Nina's not a bitch though.

Thank you very much for reviewing. Feels guilty as you will discover why.
Review By [DemonChildeKyra] • Date [10 Jun 07] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "'Cause I built my life around you" from AllenPitt
Review:
Hey! Andrew isn't gay!.... well, ok, maybe. ..... I thought Buffy coming around to improve the locks was a nice sign b. does still care....
And Nina must be a total psycho....she's a werewolf, drawing the attention of the council is NOT a good idea.... since Dawn is one of the people who can put out a 'kill order' on her, or her big sister (who could do it herself).... it's gonna be tough offing Oz.... it always is, doing someone you know (that's part of the reason Spike didn't get staked, it's a little harder when you know their names)...
Comments from author:
well no Nina is not a psycho she is being hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

Oops pressed enter by accident hope you get this second bit. Thank you very much for reviewing.
Review By [AllenPitt] • Date [9 Jun 07] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "I'm getting older too" from AllenPitt
Review:
why do they go for the bad boys? Oh, well.... at least Buffy & Dawn have re-bonded and are totally ok again. If anything I think you understated that. Siblings on the outs are not a pretty sight.... I was going to say B. isn't clumsy, but then--cafeteria scene with Riley & company watching as she messes up in the food line. Yep....
Poor self-destructive Dawn. even minus the werewolf angle, that's not going to end well...
I think the security stuff is realistic, Giles for one has learned from experience & you can't afford to screw around in that business---Gwendolyn Post & others have shown why--
Comments from author:
Why do they go for the bad boys - because Daddy left them of course!

Buffy and Dawn will not be rebonding soon that's for real. Dawn has a lot of issues poor thing.

Buffy is clumsy naturally when she lost her powers for the day she seemed quite unco and didn't she flunk the cheerleader try outs?

Thanks for liking execution and reviewing.
Review By [AllenPitt] • Date [8 Jun 07] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "I'm getting older too" from DemonChildeKyra
Review:
Wow, cool chapter! That whole part with the psychic was very much like what happened in like season one or two of Angel at Wolfram and Hart - I think it was in the episode where Lindsey helped to save the blind kids....

Anyway way, I definitely liked the chapter!!!

~ Kyra

P.S. I love how you answered my .3 partners question, it made me laugh!!!
Comments from author:
Oh dear you're right about psychic scene I didn't copy it on purpose it must have lurked in my subconscious.

Thank you very much for your review.
Review By [DemonChildeKyra] • Date [8 Jun 07] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Oh, mirror in the sky, what is love?" from DemonChildeKyra
Review:
*bites tongue* OW!!!! Anyway, I didn't mean it as bad as it sounded. But seriously, I think it's the whole 'married' thing, it's wierd seeing her as the "other woman."

I am glad to see that Sam is still really focused on saving Dean and doesn't really let Dawn distract him for more than a few minutes at a time.

I can't wait to see what happens next! And if Nina finds out abnout the affair! More soon, please?


P.S. How the hell do you have .3 sexual partners?!?!?!
Comments from author:
I've actually always seen Dawn as someone who would have an affair.

I'm not sure why, maybe it was because Dawn shop lifted from the magic box and Anya being so betrayed by it. Dawn is devious in many ways in my opinion. And I always thought she had a hell of a lot to whine about in season six. But then so did poor Buffy.

Nina is going to find out about the affair. Wives mostly do.

.3 sexual partners obviously make you give birth to 2.5 children.

Thank you very much for your review.
Review By [DemonChildeKyra] • Date [6 Jun 07] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Oh, mirror in the sky, what is love?" from AllenPitt
Review:
Good thing Dawn is on the outs with Buffy, B. would kill her for being with Oz like this. heh....I like how Sam instantly forgot her after talking to her, at least he's got his priorities straight for now. Everything is perfect. I'm sure Nina will be very understanding when she finds out.....or maybe not....
I'm kind of surprised the Knights of B. aren't after Dawn again... she still exists therefore the Key still exists, and it's something armies have fought wars over down the centuries etc.... someday somebody should come up with a good origin for her... since "Dawn" is the result of a spell, presumably she could be 'tweaked' ie altered by a good mage.... if she could figure out how to do it, she'd be a shapeshifter or something...
Comments from author:
Yes Sam is a man on a mission.

Knights of B. - people are after Dawn constantly.

It's going to be so great when Nina finds out - I'm basing her reaction on how an actual woman I know handled finding out about her husband's affair and a documentary I saw once.

Thank you so much for reviewing.
Review By [AllenPitt] • Date [6 Jun 07] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "I took my love, I took it down" from DemonChildeKyra
Review:
Wow, this one is deffinitely different! I am so not used to seeing Dawn acting the slut, it's really wierd! I can't wait to see how this one works out! More soon, please?
Comments from author:
Bite your tongue! Dawn is the heroine of this story, heroines of romances are never sluts. ;)

Seriously she's had six boyfriends and a one night stand in nearly four years. That's not excessive I feel seeing how the average American, Italian and English person has 10.3 sexual partners in their lifetime according to the Durex global sex survey. The average world age of first having sex is seventeen and it was legal in Italy when she lost her virginity.

Thank you very much for your review I'm so glad you're finding the premise interesting.
Review By [DemonChildeKyra] • Date [6 Jun 07] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "I took my love, I took it down" from AllenPitt
Review:
poor Dawn--she has her problems, doesn't she? Good setup using the hootananny, he was the only scooby there who didn't verbally attack Buffy (one of the ugliest scenes in early "Buffy" --only the confrontation in the library when they found out Angel was back was worse) ---
*Might be freaky if they found a great painting with signature "Angelus" sometime, Angel was an artist after all.....
Too bad Anya isn't still around, she'd likely know quite a bit that could help sam with Dean's little problem (not to mention demonic languages)--
Comments from author:
That Angelus as a painter idea is brillant and I'm going to nab it.

Thank you very much for your review.
Review By [AllenPitt] • Date [5 Jun 07] • Not Rated
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