Large PrintHandheldAudioRating
using
 paypal
Twisting The Hellmouth Crossing Over Awards - Results
Rules for Challenges

With These Eyes

StoryReviewsStatisticsRelated StoriesTracking
Review of chapter "Chapter 23" from Delkatar
Review:
Great story!
Review By [Delkatar] • Date [1 Sep 13] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 23" from CageFire
Review:
This is a pretty great story. It's too bad it seems to have been left off here. I am curious what would happen next. Also, why the heck they need the slayer and the judge.
Review By [CageFire] • Date [18 May 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 3" from Chikageko
Review:
The word Kyuubi translated directly means nine tails. calling the demon the kyuubi nine tails is redundant.

Edit 1: You have no idea. You could use an editor though. Your story thus far is much better quality than many but you still manage a rather high error count.
Comments from author:
I guess someone is bored.

Edit 1: Yeah, you're right. Sorry about the sarcasm. I've hit a complete block on this story, and looking back over it, I realized in some cases the writing has just been flat out terrible. When I was writing, I would pretty much put it out as soon as I finished, only reading over it once or twice at most.

Anyways, thanks for the review, and you're right about the Kyuubi. I hope to continue this sooner or later, especially since recent events in the manga.
Review By [Chikageko] • Date [20 Apr 09] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 23" from Starfall
Review:
loved the story hope you are thing of continuing it in a sequel.
Review By [Starfall] • Date [13 May 08] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 23" from TheSoulmater
Review:
WOW! This is the first Naruto/Buffy crossover that I have read but I have to say it totally kicks ass! Go Ninja!Xander, but its sooooo evil how you left it I hope there is more to come!!!

XXX
Review By [TheSoulmater] • Date [11 Apr 08] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 23" from Harry
Review:
Glad to see you updated again! And I wonder how well Faith is going to interact with the team, especially with this special Ninja training. Perhaps she might go for medical training, such as with Sakura and Lady Tsunade.
Review By [Harry] • Date [22 Dec 07] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 23" from Skoellya
Review:
Yep, you're definately keeping me interested. I'm anticipating the next few chapters eagerly as there are so many different directions and emotional rollercoasters you can torture our favorite characters with. I have to admit I am also looking forward to if or when the Kyuubi no Kitsune comes into play... that being one of my favourite dynamics in the manga. The touches of Kakashi and Giles were good, especially the 'old' quip, and I love good ol' fashion evil plots. There aren't enough of them around. Romances? Bah! It's so much more satisfying to be reading a traditional thwarting of a villain, even if this is only still at a mid point. (I know from experience that writing evil speeches is incredibly fun- you get to be as flamboyant as you want) Many writers also don't realise that that is what makes shows and comics like Naruto so popular- a hero is only as good as their nemesis. And you have both villains and heroes written down to a T. in this chapter especially. Faith, in particular, looks to be shaping up to have an important role. My only prefernce is I would still like to see more dialogue, or focused scenes in future chapters, but that's mainly because I write in that style myself (and there's so much in your story that could be elaborated on, but in the interests of time I can understand why you choose to omit detail). This chapter had a very nice balance, though and I didn't think the ending was weak. I agree there are probably too many characters introduced, but it's easy to make mistakes when writing a long fic. It doesn't take away from the story. If you're worried, some fairly heavy duty editing ought to fix it although I recommed it more once you have finished. You could probably get a few of 'em packed off to Konoha if you have to, either to get news of Akatsuki, or even the Sand (I'm sure Gaara would want to help out Naruto if he's in trouble... ah, it's just a subtle hint. Gaara is great as Kazekage) Altogether, the way you write suits your own portrayal of the story and is very consistent. Hope to see more soon.

-Skoellya

(In reply to the reply) With the romance- I was just in general having a go at the OOC fics that are churned out over at fanfiction.net constantly which are all about the corny cliche. After skimming the Naruto fics there, there's only a decent fic once in a blue moon. I think a bit of fluff adds well to making a deeper story, I'm not too cynical at heart. It's what happens in manga and pretty much any story Naruto or even Grimm's fairy tales (I recommend reading the originals, they're quite disturbing in an odd sense)- romance is on the fringes of all the evil schemes before coming together at the end. And you have it written in there with Naruto and Hinata quite naturally (the most important thing and something which bothers me consistently with fanfic. A relationship that appears with a "Bam!" instead of natural progression of any kind, even described, in a fic is completely ludricous if it wants to be taken seriously. (Crack fics excluded)

I'm really flattered that my reviews have had that effect, as my reward is getting to see more of an excellent fic! ;) But, seriously, I was happy to help. As a writer myself (although I write tonnes I tend to stick to publishing one shots 'cause I'm a habitual non finisher- to my eternal annoyance) I can appreciate the value of constructive criticism and I really don't mind. The thing I really appreciate in your fic is your effort to keep them in character and true to the original story. If you think about writing in those terms you won't go far wrong. It not only applies to Naruto and Buffy fiction, but anything else too. I love all the Naruto characters as well, and even the ones that can annoy me a bit hold their value as original creations of the guy that gave us the world to mess around with in the first place (that's the main reason I despise character bashing, the people writing it ridicule themselves by claiming to love other characters... despite the fact both good and bad characters were made that way intentionally...) I haven't yet found a Buffy Naruto crossover better than this one. I wrote a bit more than I thought I would here (It's turned into a mammoth review), but this was the only way I could think of to answer your thank you! So... thanks from me too. I could only comment on your fic once you published it, after all. I'm having fun reading it, and I know a review is the only payment an author here gets so it was no problem at all :)
Comments from author:
Thank you so very much. It's funny you mention romance. I had planned on getting more of it in, but I realized that it's alot harder than I thought, and considering the situation they're all in, it would seem slightly out of place. Not to say it won't happen, but I figure with how long this series might be, I have time to focus on other things. And you are so right about writing the villians part. They are easily my favorite aspect of the story, and I can't wait till I get to let them unleash on the good guys.

I'm glad you mention dialogue too. That has been, without a doubt, the hardest issue with writing for me. Dialogue really expresses what the character is about, and to be honest, I'm still trying to keep the characters in line with how they act and talk in their respective shows/manga. By the next story, which should be coming soon, I'll be trying to focus on some of the other characters as well.

I've thought about sending some characters back for a bit, just because there is too many of them, but the problem is that I love them all. But you are definitely right about that. I've gotta take that into consideration, because I'm so busy trying to just mention all the characters, I lose focus on the scene at hand. That's why ever since I introduced these characters, nothing has been going on really. As for Gaara. Well, I love Gaara, and I definitely had plans for him down the line.

By the next story, I want to get things going. You've helped me out so much with your reviews on this story, and it means alot to me. Thank you very much, and I can honestly say that this story wouldn't have gotten where it is without you reviewing and giving me many helpful suggestions. Again, Thank you very much.
Review By [Skoellya] • Date [12 Dec 07] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 10" from TDMaster
Review:
Like this a lot.
Review By [TDMaster] • Date [28 Nov 07] • Rating [7 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 22" from Honebar
Review:
This was a rather nice story and I'm glad I had a chance to read it. I like how you blended a little bit of the two guys together.
Review By [Honebar] • Date [14 Nov 07] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 22" from Harry
Review:
The hellmouth may be safe for now, but I suspect that this group may have teamed up with the Sunnydale Mayor, which explains the increase in vampires. The team could REALLY use some fresh blood in the form of Faith very soon!
Review By [Harry] • Date [11 Nov 07] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 21" from Harry
Review:
After reading about that training, I can understand why everyone is sore! But that barrage attack by Naruto TRULY ROCKS! The only thing that would have been better would have been seeing the Ratsenga technique. THAT is a KILLER MOVE!
Review By [Harry] • Date [11 Nov 07] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 20" from Harry
Review:
I do agree with Giles on the fact that the council does not like change. But, bringing Faith in will certainly help out with her ability to deal with what is going on. Now, lets see who gets to train with whom!
Review By [Harry] • Date [11 Nov 07] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 19" from Harry
Review:
As one who has been reading the Manga in Shonen Jump magazine, and has been following the Anime on Cartoon Network, I recognized most of the members of the team that Saske brought with him. A few weren't familiar, but most I recognized. SO MANY FAMILIAR FACES! And now, lets get down to business. I hope to see a lot of interaction between Sakura and Willow, as well as Saske and Xander. LET THE TRAINING COMMENCE!
Review By [Harry] • Date [11 Nov 07] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 18" from Harry
Review:
BOOYAH! THE TEAM HAS ARRIVED! And not a moment too soon. We have Saske and Naruto at least, and probably a few others as well. NOW, its time to get some serious training in!
Review By [Harry] • Date [11 Nov 07] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 17" from Harry
Review:
Well, Xander is back after being out for four months. And, while I am sorry to see Kendra go, at least she took out Drusilla. Now, how soon will Faith be arriving? WHOO HOO! I LOVE FAITH!
Review By [Harry] • Date [11 Nov 07] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Page: 1 of 5 next end
StoryReviewsStatisticsRelated StoriesTracking