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Harry Potter and the Real 'Knockturn Alley'

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Review of chapter "Chapter Seven" from Caminus
Review:
Any chance you'll be coming back to this world with your new reappearance? The world you're creating here is quite immersive and I found myself really enjoying this. Earlier I was thinking Harry could knock Eve over the head with one of those tetrahedrons troll-style and maybe kill her if he got lucky, but I guess twelve year olds aren't all that keen on responding with lethal force after all (not to mention the whole mind affecting thing).

Also, with all those intruments Dumbledore was hoarding in his office to keep track of Harry, I wouldn't be surprised if he stuck his wand into the situation at some point himself, magical boundaries or no. At the very least, he would suspect Voldemort was behind it and try to track him down through whatever sketchy sources Eve found him with in the first place.

EDIT: I'm the kind of savage that kills the other savage before she delivers me to the murderous lunatic supervillain, but Harry Potter probably isn't.
Comments from author:
I'd like to finish this one, definitely. I've been messing around with plotting the last two or three chapters on it, off and on.

::I was thinking Harry could knock Eve over the head with one of those tetrahedrons troll-style and maybe kill her if he got lucky::

Hey! What kind of savage are you? Of COURSE he's not going to splatter her brains all over the place!
Review By [Caminus] • Date [13 Oct 10] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Seven" from MarcusSLazarus
Review:
Hoo boy...

THIS doesn't look too encouraging for Harry.

Interesting concept, don't get me wrong (I still think you're being a bit harsh on Lorne- ONE occasion where he hit Eve and him killing Lindsey like that doesn't mean he was bad enough to deserve THAT- but that's about it), but the way you left things there...

I SINCERELY hope Eve underestimated what Harry's capable of, to say the least.

Hope you keep up the good work; this is looking VERY intriguing so far!
Review By [MarcusSLazarus] • Date [15 Dec 08] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Seven" from thepaperblade
Review:
This was a lot of fun to read. Utterly cool crossover.

Lorne's fate amused me. Yeah, I can see why Eve would want revenge.
Comments from author:
Wow, you make me want to go back and actually work on this one again.
(You're in the minority, about Lorne. Most people got really uneasy about how cruel Eve was being; I thought she was totally justified.)
Review By [thepaperblade] • Date [2 Jan 08] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Seven" from Oranda
Review:
I am glad to see that this story has a new post. I though it was an interesting perspective of Eve. Very good post, can't wait for the next.
Comments from author:
--I though it was an interesting perspective of Eve.--

Thanks!
Next chapter will be mostly from Eve's POV, since Harry will be too deep in the doo-doo to be doing very much. I'm looking forward to giving people more of a look at what's going on in her head.
Review By [Oranda] • Date [23 Oct 07] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Seven" from GreenDragon
Review:
Another excellent chapter... and Harry is *finally* learning to "think outside the box" a little, since almost *anything* can be a weapon if thrown accurately, and when your spells don't affect your foe directly, then use them to throw stuff at her.

And swamp mud is just soooooo nasty. Although I'm wondering why he didn't think of just dropping that last stone on Eve's head? Perhaps he just wasn't desperate enough yet. Well, that and Lorne *did* kind of ask him to *not* hurt Eve.

********

Flickering lights in the distance... hmmm, sounds to me like will-o-the-wisps, a rather small, yet nasty form of Unseleighe. Poor Harry, he has no idea he just went from the frying pan into the fire.
Comments from author:
--Another excellent chapter...--

Thanks!

--and Harry is *finally* learning to "think outside the box" a little,--

I know Harry's been a little slow to step up and be tough/heroic in this, but hey, the kid IS still just twelve, here.
(and I guess there's also the thing with me taking a while to get comfortable with him--it's very rare that I write non-Faith characters, and Harry is VERY non-Faith! ^_^!)

--And swamp mud is just soooooo nasty.--

Especially when you're a being who was created specifically to inhabit nice, clean corporate offices, and never even *saw* dirt (except for what was in the flower planters) until that big dumb Angel guy came along and threw the whole universe into chaos.
o_O

--Although I'm wondering why he didn't think of just dropping that last stone on Eve's head? Perhaps he just wasn't desperate enough yet.--

Yep, he was still in denial as to the seriousness of things. Hermione would have cut loose sooner, or pushed Harry into acting, but he's all alone here, and it took awhile for him to get proactive. Also, as he tells himself a couple of times, Eve hasn't actually (physically) hurt him, so it didn't see right to hurt/kill her. Which is a bit naive of him, sure, but again, twelve years old.

--Well, that and Lorne *did* kind of ask him to *not* hurt Eve.--

Ah, well, you see....
::Ahem::
Actually, Lorne was warning Harry that he wouldn't be *able* to hurt Eve, at least with spells. He was trying to give the kid a heads-up, but it didn't come through very well. I thought about having Harry register the real meaning later, but it didn't seem to fit properly in the scene where he's running for his life.
^_^

--Flickering lights in the distance... hmmm, sounds to me like will-o-the-wisps--

You got it in one.
Although it's actually much, much worse than even that.
(Heh, heh, heh....)
Review By [GreenDragon] • Date [23 Oct 07] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Seven" from Dmitri
Review:
Aw, poor Eve, all drained of magical energy or whatever else she runs on. Go, Harry! For an underage wizard you sure are tough. Oh, and when Lilah hit her head? That was classic slapstic. If PJ can have Gandalf hit his head on Bilbo's ceilings, then Lilah doesn't really lose anything when she hit hers.
Review By [Dmitri] • Date [22 Oct 07] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Six" from Centaurious
Review:
I have to agree with the previous reviewer that I liked the world of Nockturn Ally that you were creating. With this latest twist I am torn between hoping that she changes and becomes Harry's friend and watching Harry rip her still beating heart out of her chest.

You are doing a great job of setting up for the development of a distrustful, look out for me only, type Harry who learns and uses all the things Dumbledoor would consider Dark.
Review By [Centaurious] • Date [21 Sep 07] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Six" from Dmitri
Review:
Sigh. I don't know whom to feel sorrier for - Harry or Lorne. Speaking of Lorne, I am not so sure about the Cruciatus curse either - I mean, it did work on spiders (not much of brains there), but on a robot? That might be a bit of a stretch. Oh, and Eve failing at her job because of Jasmine? Can't say that I feel sorry for her - I still think Lilah was classier.

Speaking of classes - if Harry is in his second year, then isn't Voldemort kind of incorporeal and unstable (even for him)? And without Wormtail around to keep him sadistically happy and relatively lucid (year four), how was he able to hire Eve to get him Harry anyways?
Comments from author:
Like she says, all it needs is a living mind--pain is in the mind, especially magically-induced pain.
Eve was sexier, and didn't bump her head when she walked through doorways (plus, redheads are always sexier, unless the brunette is named 'Faith' ^_^)

Harry hasn't yet started Second Year, here, so yes, Voldemort is still somewhere in the woods, wishing someone would come and help him. Eve will spill more about what's going on when she gets time.
Review By [Dmitri] • Date [17 Sep 07] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Six" from Wandmaker
Review:
I've got to be honest with you. I was really enjoying the story until this chapter. The idea of another world beyond the surface of Knockturn Alley both charmed and intrigued me.

The utter malevolence of the "heroine" took me offguard. I guess I was kind of hoping for a sort of female Jack Sparrow instead of the inevitable twisted, corrupted uber bitch demonette.

But I can't deny it's well-written.
Comments from author:
Well, OUCH.
o_O

I'll grant you, she's a little rough, given the right (or wrong) provocation, but have I really painted her so darkly that you can't envision her as capable of kindness or (gods, I really hate to use this word, but I'll grit my teeth and do it anyway)... 'redemption'?
::Shudder::
We've seen worse behavior from people that have turned out to be quite heroic in the end; is she such a complete bitch that you can't wait and see if she can get to that place too?
::Sigh::
Well, sorry if I've lost you, I guess I misjudged there, slightly.
::Sadness::
Review By [Wandmaker] • Date [17 Sep 07] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from domigirl
Review:
I have to admit the story is very good, though, I feel a little different on the subject of abuse towards women, I support a kind of 'full' equality. In other words, if a women has acted evilly, threatening people and trying to kill your fiends who, to add insult to injury, feels more like family, I don't really think that its bad if she gets evil brought back at her, even if she's pretty. And her being in love with Lindsey isn't an excuse either. At least in an eye for an eye ideology.

Also if your gonna punish Lorne, you have to do something against Spike too, he tried to rape Buffy. The whole situation was just, kinda ignored, and I don't really know why, especially for a so-called feminist like Joss...

Well, despite our seemingly vast difference in opinions, I still really like the story, and will continue to read it; your writing is very good. To ease my mind, though, I'll skip over the Lorne-abuse parts.
Comments from author:
Any 'evil' Eve did in the direction of Angel and company was pretty subtle stuff, mostly. Some scheming and plotting, putting a dream-inducing bug on Angel while he slept....
Compare that to a gang of big strong men surrounding her while she's half naked on a bed, watching while one of them beats her, then forcibly interrogates her... doesn't seem like the same thing. Although I freely admit that the fact that she's pretty ups my ire several notches; it's that outdated chivalry thing kicking in, I guess.

The Spike rape scene WAS horrible, and pretty much everyone but the die-hard Spike haters agrees that it was so out of the blue, so off the charts, given what we'd seen from him that it was an unforgivable rape of Spike, the character. All it was, was a shortcut to get him to the place of wanting to win a soul for himself, and that's just lazy writing.

The Lorne abuse... all I can say is that it's not just gratuitous torture, or at least I don't mean for it to be. It's supposed to show us the colder, 'eviller' side of this woman. Without that, she'd be TOO sweet and nice. Also, it's going to lead to something next chapter which will help our Harry.

Thanks for the review!
Review By [domigirl] • Date [17 Sep 07] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Six" from Bluesnowman
Review:
Nice job.
Review By [Bluesnowman] • Date [17 Sep 07] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Five" from GreenDragon
Review:
Yep, it would have been funny if Harry had gotten that reference... while less obscure to many than Rebma, I doubt that living with the Dursley's that Harry would have had any chance to have read Tolkein.

And "Shadow Ways"? You seem to be implying that Eve may indeed be distant daughter of either Amber or Chaos, or maybe I'm reading more into it than there is...

As far as "turning him over to Voldemort" goes, I suspect there is more to the story than that, but I'll wait as patiently as I can to learn more.
Comments from author:
Nah, nothing so cool as Eve being involved with Amber or Chaos, just me being too lazy to think up a cooler name. The portal deal is sort of a combination steal of two Zelazny ideas: the 'Shadow Walking' power from the Amber books, and the portal shortcuts that Pol and Moonbird used in 'Changling' to shortcut the distances while they were recovering the segments of the sceptre.
I swear, I'll eventually get around to where Eve describes exactly what she is, I just have a problem with getting to the point in a timely fashion.
o_O
Review By [GreenDragon] • Date [12 Sep 07] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Five" from Dmitri
Review:
Well, dang! Harry's third year is really picking up the pace now. He'll probably have issue trusting pretty girls and women for a long time after he gets out of this somehow.
Comments from author:
This is actually set just before he starts his second year at Hogwart's, which is why I keep having to slam the door on my natural inclination to have some kind of romantic thing develop between them. He's only TWELVE!
And yeah, he'll have issues... maybe. Although I sort of have an idea of what might happen a couple-three years down the line, if this story goes well.
Review By [Dmitri] • Date [11 Sep 07] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Two" from purrfus
Review:
That is just shivery. Mean and evil in the really nasty way.
Comments from author:
What do you mean, Lorne's fate?
Dude, he earned every bit of that.
(Or maybe I'm just less patient and understanding than most when it comes to men abusing helpless [and, yes, beautiful] women)
That kind of thing ticks me off to a ginormous degree, and I hold those grudges a loooong time. I might acually do a very short little fic showing how she managed to track him down, and who she went to for help in capturing him.
Just the thought of it brings on an evil cackle of fully justified glee.
^_^
Review By [purrfus] • Date [11 Sep 07] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from purrfus
Review:
Interesting. Such an overused word I know, but it seems to be the best fit.
Review By [purrfus] • Date [11 Sep 07] • Not Rated
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