Okay, Metroid/Voyager is a cool premise for a crossover. Your writing style could use some tightening, which should come with practice. The wormhole-with-evil-invading-ships plot is hard to pull off and it doesn't play to Voyager or Samus' strengths. If we were dealing with 'planet survival' or 'bowels of enemy ship' where Samus could use her suit and weaponry to full ability, thereby impressing the locals, that'd be, well, cooler. Voyager has stellar pilots already, but the physics involved in her energy balls are awesome.

Of course, hey, it could just be that I'm unfamilar with the metroids and Mother Brain...

If you can show them to be a credible threat by 'witnessing' them attack a colonized alien world in Voyager's universe, from the point of view of the townspeople, that'd be nice.

If I can keep my muse working with me, I would get more writing done on both of the fanfiction I have here and on fanfiction.net. And also the fanfiction and original stories on my geocities site