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The Ass

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Review of chapter "Sequel" from BrownFinderth
Review:
Pretty darn good story!!
Review By [BrownFinderth] • Date [20 Dec 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Sequel" from serenityselena
Review:
marvelous story...
loved reading it ^_^
Review By [serenityselena] • Date [3 Feb 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Sequel" from greysh
Review:
Great fic! I loved it :)
Review By [greysh] • Date [10 Sep 10] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "The Ass Gets A Date" from TwoBlackDragons
Review:
Typos I spotted. Typos in brackets.

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Rolling her eyes she snuck up behind the group, “So breaking and entering [] just the start of the illegal exploits…’cause I know how [] fun it is to dig up graves in the middle of the night…”



is
much ?
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All four stared at her, Cameron a bit disturbed, Chase, Foreman, and House [curiosity] piqued.



curiosity's
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Buffy sat down on the edge of the [whole], legs dangling in, “Attracts attention, plus if you have the light on it glances [of] the shovels and just causes trouble…really, a friend almost lost his toe one night. Anyway, Cameron, go play lookout. Anyone want to tell me why I’m going to help dig…Mr. Samuel Marathas up?”


hole
off
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There was silence for a while as the three dug steadily, Buffy finally hit pay dirt when her shovel hit something making a hollow thump. Buffy smiled and began to remove the rest of the inhibiting dirt. Moving back she set her shovel on the grass.


Are they taking turns? Not enough room in the hole for three people. The top of the casket is six feet down, bottom eight to nine feet.

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Buffy winced in sympathy and quickly jumped out of the grave, “Have fun.”


She should probably ask for help getting out of the hole, she's only 5'2''

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I know this was a long chapter, but I was just having too much fun…hope you all enjoyed this chapter as much as I did.


No, a long chapter is 10,000 or more words long, I'm not very fond of typoing those. Although it doesn't stop me from doing it.
Review By [TwoBlackDragons] • Date [12 Aug 10] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "The Ass Gets Into Trouble" from TwoBlackDragons
Review:
Typos I spotted. Typos in brackets.

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She slumped onto the couch, “Yeah…No. I just, I don’t know what to do these days. I run a company, but no one will follow me anymore, I made a bad call last year, and they turned on me, and even though we sort of patched it up, they don’t really think of me as a friend anymore, I’m just a face, a face they place the blame on when something goes wrong, and I don’t know how long I can take [].


it
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God, I’m pathetic, I don’t [] why I just don’t walk out into traffic…”


know
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House [] into his office as he yelled at his ex, “I don’t see why you had to come here, I mean, couldn’t you find 101 puppies elsewhere, Cruella?”


went
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Looking around from his vantage point on the floor his eyes widened, “Holy mother of [] that’s unholy…”


all ?
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Review By [TwoBlackDragons] • Date [12 Aug 10] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "The Ass Has a Seminar-Part Two" from TwoBlackDragons
Review:
Typos I spotted. Typos in brackets.
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Someone, probably Chase broke the silence [was] uncontrolled laughter, “Oh the irony!”


with
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House choked, “Right, so when a patient comes in with a cough, what aren’t [] supposed to do.”


you
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The man who had been singled out blushed a bit but spoke, “Ask them to take [] their shirts.”


off
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Eyes widened in the audience and House again looked at her like she was a puzzle that only had a quarter of the pieces [to], “I hope he bit the dust.”


You probably should either rephrase the sentence or drop the to.
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“Right, now that you know that by dating a co-worker you’ll turn them into a homicidal monster, next tip would be: Don’t date a patient who you’ve seen in a ‘Professional’ capacity within a month or two. All you need to know, is that [its] messy, and inevitably something will happen, and you won’t be able to do your job. We are doctors, not Care Bears.”


it's
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Review By [TwoBlackDragons] • Date [12 Aug 10] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "The Ass Has A Seminar" from TwoBlackDragons
Review:
Typos I spotted. Typos in brackets.
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“I’ve known you for all of three days, and I doubt that the human race will die out today. Okay, would you rather…kiss [chase] or kiss Wilson?”


Chase
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Buffy held back her laughter and playfully licked her lips, “Damn, you caught me. Admittedly, he wouldn’t be my first blonde, though he is a bit to clean cut. Nah, I like my boys tall, dark, handsome, and [] little bit broody.”


a
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House snorted, “We’ll go with the black guy’s. Ms. Summers [do you’re] here because you think you might be pregnant?”


are you
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Review By [TwoBlackDragons] • Date [12 Aug 10] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "The Ass Has Some Fun" from TwoBlackDragons
Review:
Typos I spotted. Typos in brackets.
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The slayer shrugged, “I grew up fast[] destiny is a funny little thing.”


, ?

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Cameron looked around, “I don’t really want to know what happened, do [i]?”


I
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Review By [TwoBlackDragons] • Date [12 Aug 10] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "The Ass is Right" from TwoBlackDragons
Review:
Typo I spotted. Typo in brackets.
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Foreman tapped his pen against the table, “Asthma, but he doesn’t have record [] of it. Shortness of breath?”

a
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Review By [TwoBlackDragons] • Date [12 Aug 10] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "The Ass invades Personal Space" from TwoBlackDragons
Review:
Typo I spotted. Typo in brackets.

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House quirked an eyebrow, “Drug addict? What is this, [and] intervention?”


an
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House [smiles], “I’ve been saying that for years. You’d think that they would get it. I.Am.Not.A.Drug.Addict!”

Buffy [smiles] indulgently, “Of course you aren’t. Now, can we agree that they scare us, and we should probably hide before they get mad because the story hasn’t started, and they come for us with pitchforks and torches.”


smiled
smiled
***********************
Buffy walked into the man’s apartment, her eyes assessing the room as she would any scene of a crime. Mail unopened, dishes in sink, clean laundry, a few pictures, “This is almost as bad as the place I lived in [] L.A.”


in ?
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Giles, oh, Giles, he was [] busy building everything back up to listen to Buffy, she didn’t want to be the face of the Watcher’s Council, far from. But he had ignored her pleas to get away, to live life. He had given her the “Duty” speech.


to ?
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House looked at his team. [he] had finished inspecting Buffy’s cache, “That’s where you’re wrong. What is this,” he asked, holding up one of the inhalers.


He
*******************************

Foreman quirked an [eyebrow clearly,] wondering if House was serious, before he answered “An inhaler?”


eyebrow, clearly
************************
Review By [TwoBlackDragons] • Date [12 Aug 10] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "The Ass and Co. Learn of B&E" from TwoBlackDragons
Review:
If I'm not sure of the correction I'll put a question mark by it.

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House ran a hand through his hair before nodding, “Yeah, when she regains consciousness, tell her to meet [] at this address tomorrow morning at nine.” House handed him a piece of paper and her coat.


us ?
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House dropped a heavy book on the table between the trio, they gave a start, “Glad I have your attention. I want Chase on the first watch, Cameron the second, and Foreman can take the third. I’m having Wilson watch over the patient tomorrow morning. All three of you are to be at the guy’s apartment. [Nine sharp got it.”]


Nine sharp, got it?”
*******************************
“My baby boomer[] isn’t she just so cute, too cute to be a CEO,” House came limping up the corridor.


,

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Review By [TwoBlackDragons] • Date [12 Aug 10] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "The Ass's Duty" from TwoBlackDragons
Review:
The first line struck me as LOL funny, and when I copied it here I found out you had misspelled Rubik's. Which is sort of funny all by itself.

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Typos I've spotted. Typos in brackets.

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House’s eyes got wider, and the [Rubick’s] cube that was Buffy Summers got more complex.


Rubik's
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Okay, this is the start of Buffy returning from her OOC moment. Sorry I put some of you off with the OOC bits, but I was suffering from serious lack of blood in brain issues, so I’m not really to blame! Oh, and I know Stacy and He never married, but in this fic, they did for like two seconds when they were drunk. [The] divorced but stayed together until House had surgery.


They
Review By [TwoBlackDragons] • Date [12 Aug 10] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "The Ass's Patient" from TwoBlackDragons
Review:
Typo in brackets.

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This wasn’t my favorite chapter to write, but I thought I should use [] to explain why Buffy acts the way she does.


it
Review By [TwoBlackDragons] • Date [12 Aug 10] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Pegs" from TwoBlackDragons
Review:
I'm rereading this and I'll be pointing out typos by chapter. I don't do this for every story I read, I have to be in the mood to do it and of course I'll probably miss a few.

Typos I've spotted. Typos in brackets.


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Buffy tugged from his grasp, which had loosened considerably from thirty minutes ago. She climbed onto the couch, covertly winking at Foreman, she stretched lightly before lying down on her side, her head coming to rest in House’s lap. He lazily [reached] put his cane down and scratched behind her ear.


reached probably shouldn't be there.
********************************
Cameron gave House and Foreman [and] outraged look, “She’s right there, she can speak, and we’ve heard her do so!”


an
Review By [TwoBlackDragons] • Date [12 Aug 10] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Sequel" from SwimmieTeam
Review:
I really liked this story and I can't wait to begin the sequel!
Review By [SwimmieTeam] • Date [24 Jul 10] • Not Rated
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