Review of chapter "And Your Point is?" from BlackBettie
It's alright... Not the greatest... But ok...
There are quite a few grammar and spelling errors... But also, you have veered far away from that Serenity/Firefly vibe. The crew you portray, is very different from the crew we all know...
First of all, Mal wouldn't have reacted so calmly and openly to Faith's presence on his ship. He would have treated her with suspicion and hostility, considering how she somehow managed to get on board in the middle of space. Mal doesn't like unwelcome visitors on his boat. Especially not ones who look like they could bring trouble. Considering Faith being covered in cuts, scrapes and blood, she would definitely be giving off that "could be trouble" vibe.
You have a good premise, and I normally love Faith in the Firefly universe stories, but I must say this one comes up lacking.
Like I said, good premise, you just need to pay a little more attention to detail. Then put a little more effort to capture that true Firefly essence, as well as more attention to your grammar and spelling. Thanks.
Review By [BlackBettie
] • Date [19 Aug 09] • Rating [4 out of 10]
Review of chapter "And Your Point is?" from bluekatt
I'm liking this story alot. Makes me wonder if you're going to have Faith go down a dark road or not. :) Keep it up, I can't wait for more.
Review By [bluekatt
] • Date [6 Nov 07] • Rating [9 out of 10]