very interesting story with a different take on the whole Speed getting shot incident. However, there are parts of it that are hard to follow because of missing words and odd punctuation, especially around speech. I would definitely recommend that you find a beta. If you ask on the LJ csi comms I'm sure there'll be people willing to help.
nate
Review By [AzureChaos] • Date [11 Nov 07] • Not Rated
I have no idea what that last bit was. How did Eric know that Xander had been on a plane Xander didn't say. He could have driven or come by bus. Someone pretended they were Xander, right? They have no records of Xander, or the guy pretending to be Xander? How does Xander know someones pretending to be him?
I like the look of your story I just don't follow your logic. Hope you continue though, maybe I'll understand better further on.
Comments from author:
I hope it will make more sense in the future. So far everything has been Xander's point of view so Only one view of what is going on. I hope the muse listens to me and lets me tell some back story or at least Speeds conversations before he was shot.
If you want some one to help you catch the snags, I am willing if you would like.
Let me know.
:)
By the way, past the few mistakes I saw, you have an interesting story there. Just hope you don't bash the characters too badly. And Speed living would rock, I hated that they killed him off.
Review By [heathenseyes] • Date [9 Nov 07] • Not Rated
