I really love this idea of Xander as a Standard Bearer or Paladin. That fits him so well.

You really should stick to the shorter stories. For whatever reason, you seem to irritate me less with errors on the shorter stories. I used to think authors using the wrong word was my biggest pet peeve. I now rank the wrong name as higher on the list. Kinsley? Apothis? Granted, neither of those names appear in this story, and that's very good. Your short stories are very well done, and mostly error free.

Excellent work. Love the feel of it.

Love this.

I loved this, very Xander, would love to see it continued or expanded.

Gremlin

A very good idea ....

Interesting idea - I liked what you have so far, but I don't feel it was finished. This felt more like the prologue to an epic or a longer story, or at least a series of stories that will deal with similar situations of a more immediate nature.

thanks for sharing and keep penning,
Marns
~pN

Great concept.
Definitely worth expansion.

So much potential.

In something this short, it is especially important to choose all of your words carefully. Once chosen, it becomes imperative that they are spelled correctly. There is not enough verbiage for ill-chosen or miss-spelled words to hide.

Working with a beta can be difficult because of schedules and differing points of view, but when working without one don't depend on spell and grammar checkers to highlight all of the problems. Reading the chapters out loud can really help. I also find printing the chapters seems to make a difference in the number of errors that I find when reviewing.

sweet