really liked this- i thought i could see the twist in which eppes brother was coming, but then it happened it was still really effective. also, love the husband bombshell!
Review By [shinysolace] • Date [7 Nov 10] • Not Rated
I liked this, but do you think you'll ever add that epilogue? I'd love to see the reaction to Charlie selling the house, and maybe see the eventual conversations both Don and Amita will try to have to explain themselves. I'm wondering if their passion will burn out and both will be left with regrets and broken family/friend ties.
I'd also love to see a bigger glimpse of Charlie at the SGC and the kinds of missions his team is sent on. Your brief description sounds like his team became wolfed, but did that transformation include Spike or is he still just a vamp?
Review By [Neverwillmini] • Date [21 May 09] • Rating [8 out of 10]
I loved it! I do hope you add a couple of more chapters, the reactions of Charlie's family, revenge, and maybe the team on a mission, so we could see the chemistry...
Comments from author:
Thank you I've actually re-written this twice as many words but it's on my old broken computer. I'm hoping to write more when I've liberated the old files.
I really wasn't expecting this, but you tell a fascinating tale (though could still use a bit more proof-reading, in places). Hope there's another chapter or two, eventually.
Review By [RevDorothyL] • Date [9 May 08] • Rating [9 out of 10]
*blinkblink* I like the slash. I thought the story was a bit too rushed.
Please write more mini-Jack stories. I love how you capture him.
Comments from author:
Hi thank you for your input, I've actually re writen most of this story and will repost it when I add chapter 4. I agree with this review it does come across as a little rushed the newer version has nearly 50% more words. And Charlie acts a little bit more mature.
Really like the story, but definitely needs to be fleshed out. However, if it is just backstory for the main plotline, it is good. Really enjoy your stories.
thanks so much for sharing. BB
Comments from author:
Thank you for your kind comment. I may add to it out later, but in truth I was just practicing writing better.
Review By [BillieBog] • Date [9 Mar 08] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Leaving aside the issue of Mini Jack suddenly becoming gay with no explanation introducing someone who looks no more then 18 y/o as Col. Jack O'neill would be a serious security violation.
The Unicorn
Comments from author:
I'm not sure what you mean with the "suddenly gay", I've gone with the old, "aliens made them do it." cliche. But maybe you're right about the telling everyone he was a Colonel.
Thank you for your constructive comment.
Review By [unicornzvi] • Date [1 Mar 08] • Rating [8 out of 10]
that was interesting, charlie as a soldier, would love to read more about how that happend
Don a betrayer? Hm, well I supose when your in love you do a lot of mean things, but thats really harsh, however, I like your story and I love the pairing
Nane
Comments from author:
I've not really given Amita and Don's POV, but in their defence, Charlie did have three years to sort the relationship out. If I were to add to this I'd be more inclined to show the other side and that love and lust are powerful motivators.
Thank you for taking the time to comment.
Review By [Nanelovesslash] • Date [26 Feb 08] • Not Rated