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Saving Earth…again

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Review of chapter "Chapter 12 - Unresolved issues" from HMaxMarius
Okay... I've tried to read this story twice now... and both times I've had to stop before halfway. It has nothing to do with your plot or the characters or how they're treated and everything to do with the complete lack of editing.

I managed to get a couple chapters further on this second attempt simply by engaging my humor and laughing my ass off every time you mentioned 'Dr. Weird' as head of the Atlantis expedition... But that only goes so far.

Perhaps if you were to one day come back and edit this to remove at least half of the word errors I might give it another shot... in the meantime I'll leave you with the word that knocked me out of the story this time:

Buffy moved slowly and ***graciously*** through her tai-chi form. (Used three times in a two paragraph span)

Gracious is not graceful (which is the implied word choice by context) Graciousness is a state of being, gracefulness is a physical manifestation of ability. To move graciously implies that the character is in a room with other people and interacting with those people in a manner that shows the value she holds them in. Not something that would apply to a Tai-Chi form.

I sincerely hope that your abilities in this area have greatly improved in the six years since this story was posted... Or that you at least have learned NOT to trust the infernal error machine known as Microsoft spellcheck.
Review By [HMaxMarius] • Date [26 Aug 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 14 – Evil returns" from (Current Donor)Sraya
Was really enjoying this until you bought the first into it....the first is just soooo annoying we , you had already established that because of the balance issue we are now fighting the Gou'ld why bring the first back it because it gives you a easy out. Kinnsey has his mind swept bring in the first fixed everything's great for him.....just annoying and has put me off even going any further sorry lost a reader....
Review By [(Current Donor)Sraya] • Date [20 Sep 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 24 – Preparations and company" from DragonBard
The Willow bit bugged me.

It's like 'Boo Scoobies! Yay SGA!'
Review By [DragonBard] • Date [19 Apr 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Epilogue" from ThePureOne
I know I'm super late but I just wanted to say this story was awesome u should do a sequel
Review By [ThePureOne] • Date [25 Aug 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Epilogue" from nightshadowlife
lol I have no idea how many times i've read this story but I love it!!!!
Review By [nightshadowlife] • Date [20 Jun 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Epilogue" from Vickzie
Haha that ending was brilliant!
Review By [Vickzie] • Date [9 Nov 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Epilogue" from spk
I just had to send you a little note of love because I just re-read this story and loved it even more this time around. That epilogue always makes my heart smile because it's the perfect ending/beginning for Buffy's journey. :)
Review By [spk] • Date [9 Jun 11] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Epilogue" from MarcusSLazarus
A bit of an abrupt start- I wouldn’t have minded more information about what the Immortal was like as a person rather than the group introducing the prophecy and establishing him as a threat, and just killing off Angel, Spike, Illyria, Connor AND Dawn (Even if the last two were only technically) seemed a bit extreme-, but the central idea had potential (Particularly with the prophecy of the Tarith’na, even if the Furlings just ‘showing up’ like that stretched credulity a BIT...).

Unfortunately, once again you run into your central problem with writing; you introduce everything too fast, and many of your ideas (Such as that witch on Atlantis; you never seemed to explain precisely how she got there with that many vampires) seem to be there just for the sake of it or (As with your ideas regarding how Dawn’s old abilities as the Key affect Buffy now that she’s Ascended, or Cordelia just ‘showing up’ like that) to save you having to think about how Buffy or her new allies gain crucial information about the current situation and each other.

In the end- just like with many of your stories-, your plot idea is essentially good, but you try to introduce everything too suddenly; you need to exercise more patience and introduce things at a more gradual rate to make your plot appear more natural, rather than just try and have everyone reveal or discover everything at once (As well as pay more attention to the two groups adapting to what the other side deals with rather than them automatically accepting it without question) just so that you can get on with what you’re more interested in looking at.

(Oh, and on a minor note, Daniel should have at least SUGGESTED that they capture Osiris alive rather than Faith just decapitating her like that; the fact that he brought it up later doesn’t change the fact that he should have protested at the time, particularly since the Tok’ra have the necessary technology to remove the symbiote without killing the host)
Review By [MarcusSLazarus] • Date [20 Nov 10] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Epilogue" from spk
I just had to re-read this story, and I love it even more the second time around. I always chuckle over that ending of "pass the crying baby." :)
Review By [spk] • Date [13 Sep 09] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Epilogue" from alexceasar
Reread it and still loved it. Good work.
Review By [alexceasar] • Date [3 Sep 09] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Epilogue" from ebony
The only reason that it took me two days to finish this story is because work interfered. I loved it and would love to see a sequel.
Review By [ebony] • Date [10 Jun 09] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Epilogue" from Ansku
The fic really would benefit from another round or two with beta-readers, but the story itself is great :)
Review By [Ansku] • Date [29 Dec 08] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Epilogue" from Tygrus
I really enjoyed this story but there are quite a few types that break up the otherwise great flow.
Review By [Tygrus] • Date [8 Aug 08] • Rating [7 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Epilogue" from RevDorothyL
Lovely bit with handing the baby around, at the end.
Review By [RevDorothyL] • Date [14 May 08] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 13 - The way a Scooby does things" from RevDorothyL
Love the way Jack takes to "the Scooby way", but I couldn't help but be surprised at the uncharacteristic way that Daniel let the killing of Osiris' host slide.

On the show, Daniel was extremely concerned about the host Sara's well-being, and was willing to risk his own life and that of others for the chance to capture Osiris and give the Tok'ra a chance to free her host (and his old girlfriend) Sara.
Review By [RevDorothyL] • Date [1 Apr 08] • Not Rated
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