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Fifty Ways to Love a Mother

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Review of chapter "Didn't I, Didn't I, Didn't I See You Dyin'?" from Evillevi
Review:
The lack of knowing what's happening to Xander invokes a large dose of curiosity. I mean it's so annoying when we have something thats so obvious but that I don't actually know.

Still it was an interesting read
Review By [Evillevi] • Date [30 Jul 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Didn't I, Didn't I, Didn't I See You Dyin'?" from Downery
Review:
Wish you stopped writing this story after Xander got his harem at the very least.
Review By [Downery] • Date [23 Apr 12] • Rating [5 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Didn't I, Didn't I, Didn't I See You Dyin'?" from (Current Donor)Ironbear
Review:
*snicker* I was laughing so hard at the image of Angelus being fried by Xander's sardonic water tower blessing that I almost typed in ROFLMAO as my password. And we all know that that trick never works! ;)

Good story. And it's a shame that it's no longer being updated. Here's hoping your Muse recovers her inspiration.
Review By [(Current Donor)Ironbear] • Date [28 Jul 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Didn't I, Didn't I, Didn't I See You Dyin'?" from Selias
Review:
Hell yeah! Xander blessing the water tower! Xander = 1, Angelus = 0, baby!
Review By [Selias] • Date [13 Feb 11] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Didn't I, Didn't I, Didn't I See You Dyin'?" from Trace
Review:
*cackling evilly* I love that Xander's impromptu blessing on the school's water-tower actually worked. That was a brilliant twist.

I was disappointed to notice that you hadn't updated since last March. Here's hoping your plot bunny comes back. Am tracking this on the off-chance that you pick it up again.
Comments from author:
I really want to get back to this. I got kinda burned out on it because I thought it'd be a good idea for Xander to have 7 dreams, one each day after the spell, but then realized that meant I had to come up with at least seven straight days worth of interesting material. I may need to rewrite a lot of this, and rework the dream stuff so it doesn't kill me.

Thanks for the review. I'm glad you enjoyed what I wrote, and it is encouraging me to think about this story again.
Review By [Trace] • Date [3 Feb 09] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Cast a Little Spell…" from (Recent Donor)DaveTurner
Review:
Interesting...I hope you get back to this and finish it. I'd love to know what's going on!

I like the changes you've made to cannon, I always thought that Jenny's death was a cop-out and why wasn't Amy made, if not a fully fledged Scooby, an Allie? Always seemed the waste of a perfectly good witch to me.

Watching out for more,
DaveT.
Comments from author:
Thanks, I'm glad you liked it. I've been in a bit of a slump, writing-wise, but I really want to get back to this. I spent a lot more time researching it and working on backstory and stuff than I did on writing and editing.

As for Jenny, I read that originally they had planned on killing off Oz but decided to keep him because he was so popular. They decided to kill off Jenny just to show that a character wasn't safe just because they were a semi-regular character.
Review By [(Recent Donor)DaveTurner] • Date [29 May 08] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Didn't I, Didn't I, Didn't I See You Dyin'?" from guyveriv
Review:
I like it.
I think I see where this is going but I encourage you to stay on track.
Comments from author:
Thanks for the encouragement, it is definitely appreciated.
Review By [guyveriv] • Date [4 Apr 08] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Didn't I, Didn't I, Didn't I See You Dyin'?" from Bobboky
Review:
interesting
Comments from author:
Thanks.
Review By [Bobboky] • Date [1 Apr 08] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Didn't I, Didn't I, Didn't I See You Dyin'?" from Auden
Review:
Another great part. I'm enjoying Xander's interaction with Amy. It should make some impressive canon changes if she gets invited into the group. I'm also overjoyed that Jenny survives. I'd like to think that this will positively effect Giles in later seasons. Minor issue, sprinklers don't work that way in reality. Each sprinkler head trips individually when the heat at that head reaches a high enough temperature to melt a connector holding the head closed. That said, it was a great way to deal with Xander's new status and matched how sprinkler's work in the movies.

Thanks,
Auden
Comments from author:
I suspected someone might know that about sprinklers. There is a reason that these worked that way, which will be explored in future chapters.

Thanks for reading and for the insightful and informed review.
Review By [Auden] • Date [31 Mar 08] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Didn't I, Didn't I, Didn't I See You Dyin'?" from Infinix
Review:
Oh that is great. I am all in favor of Jenny surviving and I am a fan of Xander but I was getting tired of the same old Xander happens to be at the school plot.
Comments from author:
Yeah, I couldn't think of a plausible reason for him to be there.
Review By [Infinix] • Date [31 Mar 08] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Didn't I, Didn't I, Didn't I See You Dyin'?" from missinglink
Review:
Huh. Can see what you mean as that was a necessary connector, but an entirely painful need at that. Sometimes bridges between the easier flowing parts make us wish they weren't just metaphors and that we could jump off them. As for ideas, the best I have for you is to take the deviation that you have now insinuated into the Buffyverse and derive the changes that result. Meaning the following. Jenny should realize she is now a target and as she is alive can reveal that she has a way to recurse Angel. She may have to redecode the spell, but she has the knowledge of how to do so and that it works. Of course how quickly she can do this is dependant on how much psychological damage Angelus did to her. Xander is going to have to confront Amy about her ruse and I think this would be the best point to initiate the smutty element in the anger leading to passion route like with Cordy. Also might be interesting if Xander wonders if this is how he is to have all his relationships. As for Buffy and Willow, until they have a little seperation from the goldfish moment and the soon to be revealed Jenny incident their growing interest in Xander should be muted, but still present in some manner or another. Maybe some cattiness if Xander lets his study date with Amy slip. Also as Jenny hasn't died here then will Buffy's need to end Angelus and Giles' lothing of Angelus be as strong as originally. Easy answer is it won't be, but to what degree? Hope these points help you go forward. It really is an interesting plot thread, but there need to soon be further deviations from the norm to keep it fresh and original. Will be interested to see how Cordy progresses as the female population's attraction to Xander continues to grow. Keep it coming. It is eagerly awaited.
Comments from author:
Thanks for all the great feedback. You've touched on some of the points that I've been struggling to deal with, as well as several that I hadn't considered. The issue with Buffy and Angel is the one that I've worked on the most, and will definitely be dealt with in upcoming chapters.
Review By [missinglink] • Date [31 Mar 08] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Didn't I, Didn't I, Didn't I See You Dyin'?" from (Past Donor)Ponder
Review:
Sorry, mea culpa! I'd forgotten about Jenny asking Willow to fill in before she died. I did remember that bit about Willow's overobsessive prepping, but I thought it was in a later episode. Oops. :/

I used "butterfly" as a verb in the classic chaos theory sense, e.g. butterfly wing-beat changing what the weather will be 6 months from now. Not necessarily a hurricane, but just different. :) I've been helping beta someone else's alternate season timeline story, and "butterfly" came up more than once in our conversations about which events from canon are still likely to happen after the story's one big PoD (Point of Departure) from the original.

I did a search for ellpses/comma usage, and I found one mention that suggested that possibly the Chicago Manual of Style might support it, but that page author didn't approve of it. That author was dumping on a bunch of other Chicago style points, and might have been biased to the point of falsely claiming things about what the CMoS actually says. I tend to go along with ways that turn out to have been originally Chicago prescriptions, but "...," screams out as so _wrong_ to me. :)

*** Ponder
Comments from author:
No problem. You didn't bother me with any of your comments. I'm glad you enjoyed the story enough to review it.

Okay, so you did know what you were saying with the butterfly comment. :-) The effects won't take quite so long to start showing up, though.

I use a 20 year old edition of the Little, Brown Handbook, and a 15 year old edition of the Random House to Good Writing. I looked at the store a few days ago for a style guide oriented towards fiction. I found a couple that had some sections on fiction, but were still mainly for academic writing. They didn't have any copies of CMoS, and even if they did I have gotten the impression that it is a huge book, and priced accordingly. I could be wrong.

Thanks for your input and feedback on this.
Review By [(Past Donor)Ponder] • Date [30 Mar 08] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Didn't I, Didn't I, Didn't I See You Dyin'?" from CPTSkip
Review:
First of all: Yay! Angelus didn't kill Jenny! I am enjoying, in a totally confused sort of way, Xander's dreams. I also enjoyed the way Amy is screwing with Xander's mind. I look forward to more of your neat story.
Comments from author:
Thanks. I'm glad you're enjoying the dreams. After I had started putting them in, I realized that I had kind of tied myself to doing *all* of them. There's a specific reason for him having them, and a reason for each one. They won't be going on forever, and will be explained at some point.

Yeah, I'm having fun with Amy and Xander, too.
Review By [CPTSkip] • Date [30 Mar 08] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Didn't I, Didn't I, Didn't I See You Dyin'?" from (Past Donor)Ponder
Review:
Cool. Clever way to butterfly Jenny's death away. :)

In canon, Willow wasn't teaching any classes until Snyder had her replace Jenny after her death.

I believe this construct, with ellipses and a comma: ..., is incorrect. A speech tag may be punctuated with either ellipses or a comma, but not both together.


ETA:
> I made the mistake of deciding that I wanted the story to make sense

That's never a mistake in my book. :)

*** Ponder
Comments from author:
> Jenny's death

Glad you liked it. Butterfly might be more apropos than you realize. Nothing is without consequence. }:->

> Willow wasn't teaching any classes

In the episode most of this chapter is based on, Jenny asks Willow to take charge of the computer class if she is a little late. Willow's comments are taken directly from the script. In the episode, at the very end, Willow tells the class that she'll be teaching it until the new teacher arrives.

> ...,

Yeah, that looked a little weird to me. Unfortunately, all the style guides available are geared 99.9% towards writing research papers (as opposed to fiction), and it's hard to find guidelines for dialog, as opposed to quotations. After you mentioned it, I dug again. I still can't find a rule, but I did find an example that jives with not using an ellipses and comma. Thanks for pointing it out. I'll fix it.
Review By [(Past Donor)Ponder] • Date [30 Mar 08] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Didn't I, Didn't I, Didn't I See You Dyin'?" from war
Review:
good story looking forward to your next chapter.
Comments from author:
Thanks for reading. I'm glad you're enjoying it.
Review By [war] • Date [30 Mar 08] • Rating [8 out of 10]
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