I haven't read past this chapter, but if I was Dawn, not only would I not believe Buffy was dead, but I'd lie my ass off and send the bad guys to raid Wolfram and Hart in L.A. for the key. That would buy a few days and would kill quite a lot of said bad guys. Research would also back up the fact that those people have their hands in everything and them possessing the key would be plausible with their pocket dimensions and well, actual dimensions...
Review By [AnnOfMidnight] • Date [17 Jun 08] • Not Rated
I'm glad you continued it! It's always interesting to see Draco as a spy, and I always thought he'd get along with the Sunnydale group very well. It'll be fun to see how the two groups mix. Looking forward to the next bit!
I'm not normally a Draco enthusiast but I'm willing to stay long enough to see why he appears to be acting as a spy for the Order (who are another pack of bumbling fools just as inept and stupid as Riddle's crowd are - remember, viciousness and/or loyalty does not necessarily mean competence.)
Anyway, I'd like to see a good explanation for what would appear to be a significant alteration in Draco's attitude and behavior.
Review By [Greywizard] • Date [17 Jun 08] • Not Rated
Aw, I'd really like it if you continued. I want to know if Buffy is really dead or not and see more interaction with Dawn and Draco. I hope you continue.
You can't just leave it there, you just can't I was just getting interested. And I would LOVE to know if Buffy is really dead or not and more Dawn/Draco.
Review By [Leeef] • Date [16 Jun 08] • Rating [6 out of 10]
Nice start. The prelude was nicely constructed and the follow-up was nicely balanced. I don't think there is anything wrong with short chapters, sometimes they're best suited to the story. Saying that you shouldn't feel like you need to rush the chapters. By the by, if you're looking for a beta I wouldn't mind throwing my two cents in!
Comments from author:
Thanks so much!!! This is my second story so I hope I'm doing okay. I am looking for a beta, I don't have one so I'm relying on myself to catch mistakes and stuff. Anyways, glad you like it. :)
christytrekkie
SusanAnthony