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Review of chapter "Chapter One" from (Past Donor)KatrinaC
*cackles* I love a good slash fic. I hope that you continue this one cause I gotta say that the idea of John and Xander is hot!

Great job so far, please post again soon?
Review By [(Past Donor)KatrinaC] • Date [21 Dec 08] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from kizunakat
oh this could be either very very good or very very bad ;). cant wait for more. I would realy like deans reaction if he happened to say walk in on them! kizuna
Comments from author:
And yes, the very, very bad will be very, very good.
Or at least, I hope it's very, very good.
There will be Dean, I'm sure.
I just don't know when he'll show up.
Perhaps he'll react badly and eventually get over it, or perhaps he'll be so okay with it that he'll wanna join in... ;)
Who knows... Muhaha!
Review By [kizunakat] • Date [10 Jul 08] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from Alianna
Wwoohh!!! that was interesting... ^_^
Comments from author:
I hope I keep you interested!
Review By [Alianna] • Date [10 Jul 08] • Rating [7 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from Caliadragon
LOL! This was simply hilarious!

Comments from author:
No problem for the hilarity!
There's more a-comin'!
Review By [Caliadragon] • Date [10 Jul 08] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from AonGealach
I so totally agree about making him gay!!
Comments from author:
I know, right?!
Making people gay just works wonders, y'know?
There's more gayness to come!
Review By [AonGealach] • Date [10 Jul 08] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from DeeRose
So, um, I think you left out about half your story. Xander chasing the demon and being afraid his girls where going to make fun of him was a good start, and having John drive up the road was a good lead in. But then nothing... That's about as satisfying as "....and they all live happily ever after"

We need to hear the conversation between John and Xander in the truck. What does John tell Xander about his boys? Has Xander heard of the (in)famous Winchesters? Does John even admit to who he really is? Maybe John has heard of Xander? The White Knight, or the One Who See's? Perhaps John was on the road specifically looking for Xander because of a prophecy?

It is not enough to just say his demon magnetism carries over to humans. Has it in the past? Is this normal for him? How did they end up in a hotel room? The girls all know he is there so there must have been a conversation between John and at least one slayer. Let's see/hear it.

The basic idea is fine, but it needs to be expanded on. Your story leaves nothing to sink the readers teeth into.
Comments from author:
Whoops, my bad.

I mean to expand on it, I just forogt to change the whole completed story thing to not completed.
Review By [DeeRose] • Date [10 Jul 08] • Not Rated
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