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The Legend of Buffy: The Blade of Evil's Bane

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Review of chapter "Chapter One The Adventure Begins" from (Current Donor)Shieldage
Review:
Ha! Cool!

Good way to explain how they're going to get items. I love that in this alternative universe Glory captured Oz and trained his feral werewolf form into a weapon at her command. Extremely neat.

So. Dawn never reached them? So, they had to fight Glory off without either party knowing where the Key had been sent, just where it had been supposed to land? Sweet!

I bet Glory was pissed off when she was resurrected, realizing far too late that the Key had been buried underneath the Hellmouth's Seal the entire time and she had no direct way of opening it :D


The story and dialog are put together rather oddly. The secondary characters and the general flow of the plot are very stretched... I doubt some things, especially concerning Joyce, would've worked out that way.

Excellent imagery though.

...

Alternate Sunnydale: The backstory you have there is believable and unforced. The people in it act well with each other, but when they interact with Buffy, Joyce and Tatl there's something missing. I can't place my finger on it, but it makes me uneasy.

Hyrule: I don't like Zelda and Tatl here because you're writing them as they appeared in games where I didn't like them. Here's hoping you get praise from the people who liked them in those games, because you're doing a good job of it.

Joyce: I find the idea of them doing that to 'Elizabeth' quite, well, icky and cruel. I doubt that they would come up with the idea on the spot and be able to pull it off successfully. I feel she's a weak character here.

Buffy: Like she says, she's being put on this quest by forces outside of her control. Hero of Destiny thing, right? She has two voices nagging at her and a wisdom repository feeding her careful bursts designed to drive her forward, not something I find interesting.


Writing Style: Having the creation story / timeline in the middle of the fic, told in summary, rather than an explanation by a character or an inscription kind of threw me off. Too few paragraphs, too many periods. You want Buffy and Joyce to be the focus of the story, right? That's why you spend time on them?

Ah, that's it. I'm more interested in the active characters in your story, while I'm finding Joyce and Buffy to be passive characters. As I read the story, my interest was sparked more by the bits that didn't have them in it. I hope they become their own people later.

I'm looking forward to the dungeons because I believe you can pull them off and do so with great imagery. Good luck.
Comments from author:
Some things concerning Joyce wouldn't work out that way? Could you perhaps elaborate?

The next chapter, if I can tear myself away from playing Zelda games long enough to write it should be Buffy's first Dungeon Exploration. Considering most Dungeons start out by giving you the Boomerang I'm thinking she'll find the Boomerang in Glory's Temple of Hellfire.

I had to think up changes and some of what I said made sense. Instead of Giles and Buffy it's Diana and Faith so what happened in the Buffy the Vampire Slayer show wouldn't be 100% the same as canon. And with the Key being captured by Ganon in a sense you bet Glory's season was going to be bloodier and nastier then what came before. Anyway I'm open to any Puzzle suggestions for the dungeons. However what will happen to make it so Buffy is the only one who actually goes to Hyrule will be written in stone.
Review By [(Current Donor)Shieldage] • Date [13 Aug 08] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter One The Adventure Begins" from (Current Donor)Shieldage
Review:
I left off just before 21-year-old Buffy woke up, but it looks like something I'll come back and read later.

Good way of describing Link's enemies and carrying the surreal feel of the game :)
Review By [(Current Donor)Shieldage] • Date [17 Jul 08] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter One The Adventure Begins" from Cristina
Review:
oh Zelda...I never read BTVS/Zelda cross before...I'm so tracking this.
Review By [Cristina] • Date [16 Jul 08] • Rating [10 out of 10]
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