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It's Not Him

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Review of chapter "Journey Interrupted" from FireWolfe
Review:
Sorry it was xander and maybe not totally by choice but it was his decisions that lead to the place he was in. So yeah he did the deed.
Review By [FireWolfe] • Date [28 May 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "And in closing . . ." from Cdog
Review:
Aw, it can't end like this. I was looking forward to seeing the girls reactions when they finally learned the truth about "The Essence" and who Joe really was.
Comments from author:
Sorry, but you'll have to wait for the sequel. The muse for this story is exhausted and needs to recharge.
Review By [Cdog] • Date [27 May 14] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "And in closing . . ." from Oxnate
Review:
Well, I'm glad your muse let you finish this one off. Very entertaining.
Review By [Oxnate] • Date [26 May 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "And in closing . . ." from BillPh
Review:
Interesting ending; it looks like we are in for a long period of nothing much happening, however, it can always restart if necessary.

In particular, fast forward a few years and there is likely be a world of potentials in danger from the first. Xander will not be able to save them all, but he will try.

On a different subject, I wonder how Cordelia will react to finding out that the essence is male and if Cordelia and Aura will invite him into their relationship.
Review By [BillPh] • Date [26 May 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "How did your Slayer die?" from TTrunks
Review:
Ohhhh...

I-I Theres only one thing to say...

The powers are going to be PISSSSSED.....

Is it wrong that amuses me so much?

I'm really hoping we'll get to see Xander twist or break the rules soon, or have one of them figure out he was Xander.
Review By [TTrunks] • Date [23 May 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "How did your Slayer die?" from Oxnate
Review:
Forgive me Author for I have sinned, it's been 11 months since my last review.

Real life issues, the usual. Anyway, glad to see your muse has been inspiring lots of this lately.

In the name of Buffy, and Willow, and Xander Harris. Amen.
Comments from author:
You are forgiven but penance is due. Thirty 'Dear Lords' should be sufficient. Be sure to get the accent correct or they don't count.
Review By [Oxnate] • Date [18 May 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Prophecy Girl Part III" from grd
Review:
I am really enjoying this. Cordy rocked!
Review By [grd] • Date [7 May 14] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Prophecy Girl Part II" from grd
Review:
Finally got a chance to read this story. Awesome. I really enjoy the image of a starship bridge that Xan imagines. Just need for him to find Shields and Torpedo launchers.
Review By [grd] • Date [22 Apr 14] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Recovery" from bookworm
Review:
I continue to be intrigued by this story, I'm always glad to read more. I do have some hopefully constructive criticism this time though. It feels like Cordelia gives far too much detail in her explanation to Giles.

For one thing, you're repeating much of what we already read from Xander's point of view last chapter. Secondly, it just doesn't feel like the way Cordy would say things, especially after just waking up and at this point in her life. She and Giles have different speech patterns; I can't "hear" her saying things like "sufficiently irritated", if that makes sense.

Third, though less important - then you have Giles ask her to write up a full report, when that's pretty much what she's just given him. I suppose he might do that anyway, but it would make more sense if there was stuff she glossed over or missed. Basically, I'd suggest summarising a lot and using more casual words.

At any rate, none of this is meant to denigrate your story at all. It's still great fun and I hope to read more. Keep up the good work, whichever story it's on!
Comments from author:
Thank you for your comments. Constructive critcism is always welcome.

I admit Cordelia's repeats things the reader already knows but Giles doesn't. As for it not sounding like Cordelia, you must remember she's repeating what Xander down loaded into her memory, something he hasn't tried before, and that would have an effect even if what she said didn't sound like how Xander would have said it either. I will endeavor to pay more attention to how I make her and the other characters talk so they sound more like themselves for the time period being depicted.

As for writing the report, she gave Giles the highlights of what happened, detailed though they may be. He's hoping that with a bit more detail he can narrow down his search for whatever demon was involved. Of course he doesn't know that regardless of how much detail he gets his research won't bring him to the correct answer since Marcie wasn't a demon.
Review By [bookworm] • Date [1 Feb 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Close, but no cigar." from TaraLi
Review:
I have to wonder if the chapter title is an intentional pun based on Cordelia's last line... Considering that it's Marcy, I expect, and therefore an invisible *woman*, who has the humidor, and not an invisible *man*, who has the cigar.
Review By [TaraLi] • Date [22 Jan 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Ideas and Nightmares" from liadenfan
Review:
Why go to the trouble of loading your own paint balls. Buy standard paint balls and have a friendly/in the know priest/minister bless them. As Robin would say, 'Holy Paint Balls.' The paint would probably be harder to remove from the vamp's skin than water.

As far as Super Soakers go, check out the Nerf Hydro-pack and Lightning Storm. A 100 oz. bladder worn like a poncho and a fully mechanized water pump Super Soaker, respectively. Not sure if they were on the market back in the nineties, but something similar probably was.

A group or teenagers wearing paint ball gear and or carrying super soakers wouldn't even be looked at twice.
Comments from author:
All very good points which may be discovered as the various options are further investigated. Jonathan's presentation was meant to get Giles interested in the ideas not necessarily present him with a complete answer. After all Jonathan is new to this gig and doesn't have all the answers yet.
Review By [liadenfan] • Date [18 Jan 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Preparations II" from Oxnate
Review:
While it's great to see that you and this story are not dead. I really want more.
Review By [Oxnate] • Date [12 Jun 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Goodbyes, Negotiations, and Vengeance" from DragonBard
Review:
Actually, the soul 'did' leave, since it was captured in a jar. You can even see it during the Angel episode.
Review By [DragonBard] • Date [20 Feb 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Preparations" from bradsan
Review:
first let me compliment you with this story. It's well written and easy to read if I liked it is a second I'm not done deciding yet. Why? Well The PTB are playing with so many lives I hope that a higher power than them will punish them in your next story. They are using so many lives and destroying them for their own game.

What I most dislike is giving Buffy a baby after being raped, how sick can you be as a PTB. Rape is a very traumatic experience and having a baby out of it is difficult and certainly when you are a virgin. Than leaving everything you loved behind. Power of good I don't think so. Wolfram and heart have more mercy and they are supposed to be evil.

And ab baby from Xander for heaven sakes, well I don't like Xander because he is a hypocrite. Willow you describe perfectly. The Gypsy's are sick bastards who let the soul suffer for something the demon did. What did the soul do that he has to suffer like that and how are the Gypsy's any difficult from demons. To me the Gypsy's are worse than evil demons.

And you. Thank god you use your mind to write stories because otherwise it would be a very scary world. brrrr. Hmm, I think I like your story and I'm going to read your sequel. Oh dear what is that telling about me. I'm not gone think about it.
Comments from author:
Xander is quite possibly a hypocrite as you say but many people are to some extent or another. As for the PTB, they are opportunists and take advantage of what they can that comes out of free will. WRH would do the same if they were aware of the situation and maybe less gently. Buffy at least retains some support system under the PTB plan.

As for using my mind to write stories instead of other more sinister purposes, I just don't have the resources of Luthor, Doc Doom, or Hydra to have a more creative effect on the world.
Review By [bradsan] • Date [25 Dec 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "And the Lucky Winner Is . . ." from MultiverseBeliever
Review:
Good story .... does Xander get to eventually tell giles who he is ? if not could it happen?
:)
Review By [MultiverseBeliever] • Date [16 Oct 12] • Not Rated
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