This was a very cool story. Are there more sequels coming? Hope so. The combination of didderent Universes in the one story really brings it together. If this was a movie on TV or on the big screen, it would be getting rave reviews from everyone and earning millions. Hope to read more soon. :>

i've read this story a few times and love it more every time . i would hope for a follow up story would be cool to see how the aliance deals with the threat of the wraith and ori .

I'm not sure what to say. I had trouble keeping up with the story. I think maybe because I had no idea who or what you were using as a crossover. Guess I'm not as addicted to TV as I thought, or you were using shows that were made in the 80's-90's when I was out of the country and there isn't much US TV overseas except old 60's reruns like time tunnel and star trek. Because of that it just didn't hold my interest, but maybe to others it was a great story, certainly long enough.

Wanted you to know that there's a minor formatting issue you should know about in the final chapter, Peace. Your entries for Xerxes and for Faith Lehane got combined as follows (separate parts are split with '[]'):

Private Diary Entry

Hector

“I thought I had missed the Gathering, when it turns out instead, that my fellow Immortals had formed a new nation. For the moment, my classes on modern military tactics are proceeding apace. I’ve also had a Watcher assigned to me who is busily interviewing me and recording my history. Apparently, they were unaware of my existence. I have a few more months of learning to do, but I’ve already been assured of a command level position with the Alliance. It seems the Alliance wants to utilize the talents of we Immortals. Something about having the benefit of long life and experience. These are interesting times [B. Just dropping a quick note to let you know I’m shipping out tomorrow. Deep space recon mission. Got a promotion to Captain, and command of a Ranger unit. He hasn’t asked me yet, but I have a feeling he will soon. But not to worry, I wouldn’t dream of getting married without you as my maid of honor. I’ll see you when I get back. F.]

I just forced my way through this story.

I have to say that the experience was worse than giving Bigfoot a blowjob.

You need to do some editing.


Edit: I am cursed with the inability to stop reading something after I have started reading it.

Now that's a colorful image I didn't need in my head.

If it was that bad, why did you read all of it then? Why didn't you just give up?

I couldn't even make it halfway through the second chapter. Ninety percent of the 'story' so far has been dialog, making things spectacularly uninteresting. You need to do a lot less telling and a lot more showing.

I've read through all of this, and quite honestly I have mixed emotions about where this fic rates. As far as plot goes, it's acceptable.

Beyond that, well, things suffer. Characterization was extremely spotty, with occasional fairly spot-on renditions, renditions where primary characters become faceless grunts(the majority), and then several that were spectacularly OOC.

Understand that these are just random examples chosen off of the top of my head.

Jack O'Neill goes from being an intelligent smart-ass leader to being a yes-man.

Jean-Luc Picard goes from a thoughtful, contemplative leader to being a slavering mad dog obsessed with obtaining the AIS fleet's tech.

In the Starship Troopers universe, you take both characters and a system that has been portrayed by the original author as, while strict, fairly democratic, and you portray them as fascist tech-hungry fools.

Voicing is the same quality as characterization. Very spotty.

Pacing was inconsistent. There were times when it was done well, and others when it would just drag.

You had far too many data dumps. Name after name, and designation after designation was thrown about, only never to be referenced again. Several others are only given a name and a designation right in front of the people that are being negotiated with, who have no idea what a, for example, AV-8B is supposed to do. And of course everyone understands everyone else perfectly.

Even when you try to explain things, you make mistakes. One that I remember is when you have your characters give an amount of acceleration in meters/second (which is velocity).

Add to all of this the fact that this is very much a Mary Sue fiction, and it could very well do with a bit of work.

Great story, one correction though -

“Our history, Ms. Alexander, is apparently similar to yours. According to your calendar and ours, the term AD refers to the date of the Death of Christ. Using that mark, I was born approximately six centuries earlier.”

AD stands for Anno Domini and is Medieval Latin for "In the year of (the/Our) Lord". In the Julian/Gregorian calendar the calendar era is based upon the traditionally reckoned year of the conception or birth of Jesus, with AD denoting years after the start of this epoch.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anno_Domini

Wonderful story! I wasn't familiar with all the shows you crossed but I still loved it.I don't know if you are planning a sequel but if you are I'm very interested. Please please please post more.

I have spent a lot of the time I should have been doing other things reading this story. And it was well worth it. Its sheer size was a bit over whelming at first but one I got into it I was unable to stop reading. thank you for sharing and I hope to see more of your work down the road.

Almost gave up on this one, when it was jumping from place to place. I'm glad I stuck with it to the end. Over all, a very enjoyable story.

It's good to see your work on TTH (you know me from FF.net and some other SG-! sites by my full name Tracey Claybon) - Welcome to the site... it's one of my favorites on the Web!

I already let you know your stories rock in previous reviews elsewhere - looking forward to the continuation of Potential when you get it posted!

Cheers,

Tracey