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Takara

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Review of chapter "Chapter One" from Harry
Review:
This looks and sounds interesting. How does Tara fit into this, and when does her family from Japan come to Sunnydale, and help her to realize her full potential? I would like to see more of this tale. (Inyuasha, SIT!)
Review By [Harry] • Date [22 Nov 11] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from KuroDraconis
Review:
This is a really interesting idea and I hope that you update. Although I'm curious how Sesshoumaru is going to thrive to the future when having to hide his demonic nature from most humans without thawing at least a little enough to tolerate humans beyond Rin.
Review By [KuroDraconis] • Date [29 Jan 10] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from Eureka
Review:
You have a very good idea for a story and I really do hope that you do write it. I love the idea of Willow being a Sessy's baby sister and Inuyasha's big sister! I have this one on track so that when you bring out the next chapter I will know so that I can read it. I usually do review all the stories that I have on tracker.
Review By [Eureka] • Date [3 Nov 09] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from Harry
Review:
A very interesting little tale. It works very well, and I would love to see it finished.
Review By [Harry] • Date [29 Sep 09] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from Doris
Review:
I really liked this. You really should keep this going.
Review By [Doris] • Date [31 Oct 08] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from Mwhahahaha
Review:
You should definatly keep going on with this story...I really like the beginning and I would really like to keep reading!
Review By [Mwhahahaha] • Date [3 Oct 08] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from HeatherDee
Review:
You have a good framework here but as it stands it's really more of a resource or a skeleton than an actual story. It's a pretty ambitious one at that. Written out this would cover the first three years of the show. You may want to keep it for later and start off with something shorter or perhaps write part of it out into a story with the rest as an introduction for it.
Review By [HeatherDee] • Date [12 Sep 08] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from (Past Donor)spikeslover
Review:
I have never though of Willow's character to have the possibility to be Sesshoumaru's sister, but I find it very interesting. So, please continue, I would like to see were this would go.
Review By [(Past Donor)spikeslover] • Date [10 Sep 08] • Rating [5 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from KitSune
Review:
Someone has finally answered my prayers and done a a willow is actually a demon from the feudal era fic... I'm still looking for a sesshoumaru/ willow fic but brother and sis is great too.. can't wait to read more
Review By [KitSune] • Date [10 Sep 08] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from Fyrloche
Review:
Interesting. Though, with the red hair, you would expect her to be related to Shippou. Keep up the good work and don't worry about this being your first story. Write for the love of writing. Don't worry about negative reviews too much. Look them over and see if they have any merit in helping you become a better writer. (Besides, you can't please everybody!) Proficiency will come as you write and figure out your style. A word processing program will help you with spelling errors and some grammatical ones. There is a free download on Fanfiction.net that is a good one. Now, for my shameless plug, I have several Inuyasha stories on FF. The earlier ones have quite a few errors in them that came from me using wordpad instead of a word processing program. And, my use of punctuation sucked. Feel free to read them. P.S. - One of the charactes in one of my stories is named Takara, too. *grins*
Review By [Fyrloche] • Date [10 Sep 08] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from Pixin
Review:
It's a good premise and an interesting idea - I say go for it. I like it.

My only suggestion (and you'll settle into a writing style as you write more) is "show, don't tell". Right now you are telling us all the action (ie, this happened and here's why) instead of showing us through interaction of characters and dialogue. You seem to be using this chapter as a bit of a sounding board though, so you may just be "telling" to get the idea across for now.

Good luck!
Review By [Pixin] • Date [9 Sep 08] • Not Rated
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