Review of chapter "Death is Visiting Pt 2" from Blackguard
great fic so far, really looking forward to more. there gonna be any back story into how Xander and Abby met and things like that?
again, great fic though, can't wait for more
Review By [Blackguard
] • Date [29 Jan 09] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Death is Visiting Pt 2" from winnie
Oh, do finish this story.
Good start, and looking forward to more.
Thank you for your work and encouraging you for more.
Review By [winnie
] • Date [18 Nov 08] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Death is Visiting Pt 2" from HeatherDee
"He probably wouldn’t laugh though if he knew."
That line is a bit confusing, why would Gibbs consider laughing here? Given the situation I'd expect him to be rather direct or possibly even angry but laughing doesn't seem likely.
Review By [HeatherDee
] • Date [24 Sep 08] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Death is Visiting Pt 2" from eriktheviking
Well written shorts.
Review By [eriktheviking
] • Date [23 Sep 08] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Death is Visiting Pt 2" from littleoldme
The format of the first chapter threw me off- when you use so few words, each one really has to count, and for me, this didn't cut it. The structure, too, seemed random, and while the line about twinkies did seem like Xander, the voice, thoughts, and everything else did not- this whole bit felt quickly written and poorly done.
The second chapter, however, I liked. You're actually quite good at writing prose, so I'd stay away from verse in the future (regardless of where the inspiration for the fic comes from), and stick to showing, rather than telling us things. This has promise- I'm looking forward to seeing what you do with the kids.
Review By [littleoldme
] • Date [23 Sep 08] • Not Rated