Review of chapter "Levitation and Languages" from Lolaisawesome
Oh god please don't make Darla pregnant. Please, I beg of you.
Still love the story.
B/A all the way!
Review By [Lolaisawesome
] • Date [17 May 13] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Discoveries and Guilt" from Scathach
I'm pretty sure the two girls are Darla and Drusilla. Dru is in red, Darla, purple.
Review By [Scathach
] • Date [22 Jul 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Levitation and Languages" from slayerslittlesis
PLEASE, please add a new chapter. I want more. This story is amazing....
Review By [slayerslittlesis
] • Date [22 Mar 10] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Princess of Sin" from DeacBlue
I really don't care if you were a preteen when this was put on the site. If you want it to be held to a different standard because it was written by an eleven year old, then label it as such, or take it off the site. Really easy. But my problem, for the most part, was not based in how adult you wrote - although it wasn't the best. It was that you had your characters act in ways that the characters simply wouldn't act, if they were the characters that you have labeled them. If things are AU, that's good, too, but you need to let your audience know when it went AU and, at least to an extent, why. They have to have some reason, however flimsy, to base their suspension of belief on. You just say that the Scoobies didn't believe Buffy didn't kill Kendra. So are you saying that they weren't there, to see Dru kill Kendra? Are you saying that they don't have a very good idea of who Buffy is, born from their many months together under great stress? Your bald-faced statement that they did leaves the reader more likely to disbelief than ever. And you do this, not only with respect to the Scoobies, but with Dumbledore. You have him immediately thinking the absolute worst of someone that he's never met. Dumbledore simply has never done that. He has never taken a third party's word as to someone's character - yet you have him communicating to her that she had better watch her step. Dumbledore would have validated the real facts through his own sources, and at a bare minimum, given her the opportunity to prove her case through veritaserum.
You say you don't have to let your audience know everything right away, and that's true. However, if you give them too many items that contravert the facts that they know about the characters, they start losing the suspension of disbelief.
Yes, second rate writing. It was good for an eleven year old, mediocre at best for the rest of us. Occasional good spots. But overall, whatever value it may have had was killed by your design flaws.
For your final point, yes, I do write fanfiction. But crossovers are not my thing to write, therefore I've not posted on this site.
Review By [DeacBlue
] • Date [29 Nov 08] • Rating [1 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Friends and Slytherin" from DeacBlue
You say that nobody gave her veritaserum because she'd go home happy and you'd have nothing to write about. Fine, that's your reason. What's Dumbledore's reason? Why isn't one of the Golden Trio asking questions? Separately, Why aren't the Scoobies, who SAW Dru kill Kendra, complaining? *sighs* Another instance of second-class writing being ruined by not paying attention to canon when it's not convenient.
Comments from author:
Second-class writing? I wrote this fic when I was eleven and haven't updated it since I was thirteen. I think I did pretty well, thank you very much. You are an angry, angry person. I notice you haven't had the guts to post any of your own writing, but have wasted no time in criticizing other writers.
I am often tempted to rewrite and continue my passion for fanfiction, but I've been busy with Med school. Terribly sorry I haven't been able to keep up to your standards, but I've been busy these past years.
Also, the whole point of a story is to not dump a plot on the reader in the first few chapters. Quite clearly, this story is unfinished. Unfinished, as in loose ends. Loose ends, as in it's not the end of the world if you don't get it all just now. That's how narratives work.
Stop flaming the works of a preteen, take a laxative and call me in the morning.
Review By [DeacBlue
] • Date [27 Nov 08] • Rating [4 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Levitation and Languages" from spring
This is a very very intresting fic please please finish thiss fic!
Review By [spring
] • Date [25 May 07] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Levitation and Languages" from Misha
I really like your story so far. I can't wait to see what happens in future chapters. Hopefully you shall update soon!
Review By [Misha
] • Date [31 May 06] • Rating [7 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Levitation and Languages" from DeviousNarcissus
I love this story! You've killed off some major baddies, yet still have one of the most interesting plots I've seen. You've made me love Darla (usually I hate her). I cannot wait to see what comes next!
Review By [DeviousNarcissus
] • Date [12 Apr 06] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Levitation and Languages" from Sara4
Oh, wow! This is great! Keep going! Are Harry and Buffy ever going to get back together? If they are, get more scenes with just them in there!
Review By [Sara4
] • Date [26 Nov 05] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Levitation and Languages" from marcusaurelius
I really like your story! Having Buffy and Harry turn evil is a very original idea! It's really refreshing to see a novel plot in the multitude of similar BTVS/HP crossovers. Please update? I'd love to read more :-)
Review By [marcusaurelius
] • Date [31 May 05] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Libraries and Stars" from odd
upp dates please and what is the deal with Buffy and Angel? will they be together if so what about Harry? will the scoobies come to there sences i hope not. What about some party sceanes?
Review By [odd
] • Date [13 Nov 04] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Libraries and Stars" from LXFin
Not to offend you but...This Is Getting BORING! again sorry
Review By [LXFin
] • Date [3 Jun 04] • Rating [7 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Libraries and Stars" from Cutiepie
Hmmmm... thanks for the updates. Still liking the story lots. You are really messing with Harry, aren't you. Bi-polar or something? Interesting choice. But you are the author, so I won't naysay you. Looking forward to reading more. =]
If you need someone to discuss plot with, I'm available. My email and AIM are available here on the TtH site. I am usually online from around 9 pm Pacific time to . . . oh, 2 am? I'd be happy to toss ideas back and forth with you, even though I am not so fond of the B/Angel(us) pairing.
Review By [Cutiepie
] • Date [10 May 04] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Princess of Sin" from dragonxprincess
This story is so cool!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love dark fics, (or semi) there are so little of them out there. I cant wit to read the next chapter!!! And dont feel bad if you dont get alot of reviews on this web site because you have to sin up and get a user name to review, cuz alot of people are lazy! any way i cant wait to read the next chapter!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Review By [dragonxprincess
] • Date [2 May 04] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Princess of Sin" from JoeHundredaire
Love the story pet, as well as being able to guess the plot before you post it and get a Gold Star for doing so... but can you please please please get rid of the extra spacing?
Review By [JoeHundredaire
] • Date [13 Apr 04] • Rating [1 out of 10]