I love the Spike, Willow, Illryia group dynamic! I don't know much about star gate:Atlantis but it's a really interesting story so far! I can't wait to read the next chapter!
Review By [hanahanachan] • Date [5 Dec 12] • Not Rated
I hope you plan on continuing this soon, it is quite good and I am eager to find out what happens next. In particular, I can't wait for the Atlantis team to discover that they found several ZPMs on Earth, and for Buffy & friends to find out about the Stargate and Atlantis.
First off, I have just found this story, which is why I never wrote a review.
I have to say that I love it! First off I love the teaming of Willow Spike and Illyria. The three looking for atonement, well, the two. ;) And I love the idea of them falling to Atlantis. Though with the Doctor in the infirmary recognizing Willow and Spike, and they him, it is interesting to see that they are in the same dimension. I am surprised that Sheppard/Weir haven't talked to said Doctor to see if they can get information out of him. Or a call back to Earth to get info and/or let SGC know that they have some unwelcomed guests that got through the shield.
I do hope that you write more to this tale. And though I have never Beta'd before, I would be more then willing to help out.
Review By [Alora] • Date [4 Feb 09] • Rating [9 out of 10]
I considered that this was an au verse story until you introduced a character familiar to the trio. They didn't want to submit their proof of credibility just so they could keep secrets? I enjoyed the story. The Wraith or Michael figure here?
Comments from author:
Good point 'bout the au, will amend. Classified and all that, plus potentially will put people back home at risk was my thought. And of course I needed to kick em out of Atlantis to meet the wraith etc.
Interesting story. I'm still reading but your syntax needs some work. You use way too many commas. In your very first sentence:
"Willow smiled as Spike tried once more to engage Illyria, in an attempt to avoid helping with the cataloging."
That's not a clause so the comma is unnecessary. Then in the second sentence you do the exact same thing! Also, in your response to another review I saw you write about identifying speakers. You say you're not skilled enough to avoid a lot of "Willow said". In a word: don't. "Willow said" is great. Preferred. If Willow is talking to Xander and it's just the two of them speaking for a while, after the first lines you can leave off identifiers. But you need them if more than two people are involved or it's otherwise more complicated. And for god's sake don't do the thing with "the red haired witch spoke", "the one-eyed carpenter with weird fashion sense exclaimed". People like to avoid repetition in their writing, but names and words like "said" do not count. They're there to make your dialogue easier to follow and if it's done well the eyes just flow over them to what matters, the next person speaking. So contrary to what seems to be your instinct: when in doubt use "Name said". It will be the best option almost every time.
Comments from author:
Noted, Thanks for reviewing. I've had an offer of help re the grammar etc.
Review By [raisins] • Date [10 Nov 08] • Not Rated
