Large PrintHandheldAudioRating
Twisting The Hellmouth Crossing Over Awards - Results
Rules for Challenges

A Series of Carnivorous Events

StoryReviewsStatisticsRelated StoriesTracking
Review of chapter "A Glimpse of Future Sight" from Cutiepie
Massive improvement on the Faith goes to Montana chapter. Filling in the blank spots with flashbacks works to balance out the off-centered feel of the Crypt Keeper showing up like that.

As for your Author's Poll, here are my thoughts:

should the quintuplets be composed of the following choices...

A) Five Girls. (A very popular choice I'd wager but a tad on the implausible side of things.)
I agree, quite implausible, unless you are going to have it related to how crocodile sexes are decided. That being, if it is a certain temperature range, the babies are all boys, and if it is a different temperature range, they are all girls.

B) Four Girls & One Boy
C) Three Girls & Two Boys
For the continuation of the species, these two are the more likely, considering it takes more females than males to support a healthy genetic pool, and this is not all left to chance. There are outside influences at work here. Plus, it would help perpetuate the "Xander outnumbered by girls" theme you (and canon) already have going.

D) Two Girls & Three Boys
E) Four Boys & One Girl
These options have some good potential, but would force the issue of what type of pack Xander's family is. Are "beta" males allowed to remain part of the pack, or are all mature males forced out? You have to remember that instinct needs to be balanced by intellect, especially since these youngsters are not going to be born and raised as pure raptors.

F) Five Boys. (See A.)
Yep, see A.

Also, do you think that...

A) One of the children should be eaten by their siblings in a runt of the litter type situation.
No way. For that to happen, it would have to be pretty much allowed by the parent(s) and that isn't going to happen.

B) The children should grow up faster then normal human offspring.
This is actually probably likely to happen on some levels, even if not on all levels. For instance, I imagine that they would learn to walk much sooner, and feed themselves (with solid foods) much sooner. However, I believe that the kids are going to have to be more of omnivores than true carnivores (think domestic cats as opposed to lions and tigers) because of Kendra's DNA contribution.

C) The children should hate wearing clothes because Big Sisters Rina, Tianna & Glenna don't have to.
Uh, I think that the children will dislike wearing clothing, but just because that is the nature of children, not simply because "big sisters" don't (or don't have to). Although, big sisters' example is likely to be given as justification. I'm thinking that the more they mature, the more likely it is that flamboyant clothing is going to become an issue at times ("I want it because it makes me look good"), particularly when not "hunting". Then again, maybe I just have my cat in mind. She loves the color pink, believe it or not, as well as shiny things.

D) One of the children is born an Albino making him or her honored and feared among the Pack.
I've been thinking about this one, and I am wondering what form this "albinism" would take. Would the child be white/unpigmented, or would it be that one child has completely human coloration while the others have some of the raptor appearance? Speaking of which, I can't wait to find out how the babies are going to look in general. Genetically, they can't look just like Rina, Tianna and Glenna, but how far from "normal" human standard are they going to be?
Review By [Cutiepie] • Date [27 Feb 09] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "A Glimpse of Future Sight" from CPTSkip
Very, very dark, but I laughed. I was also glad to see Marcy is still around working for the Dark Side. Not to sure about Veruca. She was always such a sloppy eater. Poor old Whistler. I wonder what kind of health benefits the Poopheads That Be stupid give their lackeys/minions? But I want to see more about Xander's and Kendra's kids. Lol!
Review By [CPTSkip] • Date [26 Feb 09] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "A Glimpse of Future Sight" from BurningLight
thats the first time I recall Whistler coming to a bad end... love it
Review By [BurningLight] • Date [26 Feb 09] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Losing Giles" from banditobane
great series

Review By [banditobane] • Date [25 Feb 09] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Kendra is What..." from OnyxWraith
I've been following this series since “Bewitched, Bothered & Bermuda Triangled” and I gotta say I like it. Good writing and good story coupled with timely updates very nice. As for the poll I agree with -sropike- about option A but see option B as a potential as the species only has 1 male at this point. On the second poll i agree completely with -ReflectionsOfReality- on B; C might be amusing though one of the kids devising acceptable garments for the new species has more potential in my opinion. And if you use D well i would make it the male and give it a pseudo-instinctual mysticism (think shamanism or animism) Oh and be sure to mention the vision problems that albinism can cause(another idea is that since his physical sight is weak his second sight is strong ie: can see spirits/magic) I look forward to the next bit in both “A Series of Carnivorous Events” and “A Pack Hunter Stalks Among Us”

........The Wraith signing out......
Review By [OnyxWraith] • Date [16 Feb 09] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Kendra is What..." from eriktheviking
Great chapter with the ever-protective Mother Joyce, and well done on a Willow knowing Xander's secrets.

Authors Poll: C A C
Review By [eriktheviking] • Date [15 Feb 09] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Kendra is What..." from sropike
I really like both of your Jurassic Park stories thus far. :)

Actually option A is not that imlausible in their situation. Their species has to rapidly expand in numbers and therefore requires females. In such situations birth of females always goes up. In this special case it should go up and stay waaaaay up for some time. Male births would only start after there are enough mature females for two viable packs. So, IMHO and B are plausible.
Accelerated growth is a must if you continue with the shorte lifespan than humans theme, otherwise their life cycle won't work. A runt of the litter type situation is definitely plausible. The won't wear clothes thing should be fun :) Also an albino both honoured and feared could lead to some interesting situations :)

Review By [sropike] • Date [15 Feb 09] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Hammond & Ludlow" from deusexsububi
I'm liking this fic, and you're writing style is very awesome. My one suggestion is upgrading the rating on this fic to FR 21, what you're writing right now towards the end of this surpasses the FR18 guidelines. I suggest this so it doesnt bite you in the ass later.
Comments from author:
Huh? What part of it is surpassing the FR18 guidelines? I mean there's no skinamax porn involved. If anything the last chapter of this series of ficlets deals with the consequences of that act and the chapter in question involving said act actually is rated FR 21. Least it should be last I checked.

There may be some things that are on the edge, I don't know, but seriously it doesn't seem to have ventured into that FR 21 territory yet. There are a couple of swears and innuendoes but I don't actually go into any details therefore I think I'm safe, but still if a mod actually thinks there's anything questionable about any of this then by all means let them tell me and I'll bump it up. No questions asked. Otherwise from everything I understand about the ratings system the chapters rated FR 18 are good to go.

Glad you like the fic though. :D
Review By [deusexsububi] • Date [15 Feb 09] • Rating [7 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Kendra is What..." from BurningLight
D) Two Girls & Three Boys

and both

B) The children should grow up faster then normal human offspring.
C) The children should hate wearing clothes because Big Sisters Rina, Tianna & Glenna don't have to.

When they grow up some could go with the wereraptors and start new packs? a new species is born
Review By [BurningLight] • Date [15 Feb 09] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Kendra is What..." from (Past Donor)mpop
Authors poll:
nothing more
Review By [(Past Donor)mpop] • Date [15 Feb 09] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Kendra is What..." from TTrunks
Hello, awesome stories, I've really enjoyed them I'm sorry if I haven't posted any other reviews I try but my computer sucks.

Now as for the baby question, I'd say five girls. Because while a boy may be "Fun" it would kill xander to have to rip it apart when it got older. being abused by his father like he was his whole life and then having to either cast out or beat up his own son constantly? Xander would probably be suicidal after that.

Another option is to have one boy, but have it be the runt, the albino and in turn Xander protects it and so it becomes even more loyal than the rest. Kind of like Xander did to Giles, you could even name it Rupert.

I think you should have the children reach "Adult hood" quickly but have double the life spans as adults that normal raptors do. Then as opposed to ten years or so, they'd live twenty.

Another interesting idea would be to have the Albino raptor take in some of the slayer essence somehow, making her even faster and stronger.And have her challenge Xander, and Xander only win because he "Cheated" and shot her or something.

A final idea is you have a weak one, and it doesn't' get totally eaten, just nawed on. Maybe loses an arm, or has scars, and in turn grows up to be right below Xander in the chain of command.

A real final idea would be to maybe have some part of one of them replaced. As is seen in one of the games. I dont' remember which one, but they turned the Dinosaurs into weapons and with magic and technology you couldn't beat a "Fake" eye.

Also for JP2, please use the book not the movie, the book is a THOUSAND times better. I understand if for continuity you want to use the movie, and I'll read it either way, but the story would be so much better if you used the book. The only scene that's similar between the two is the Jeep scene with the two T-Rexs, everything else is different.
Comments from author:
So Xander and Kendra's kids only live twenty years? Why, he didn't mate with any of the wereraptors so the shorter lifespan of a Raptor shouldn't even be involved with his first set of offspring.

Your ideas surrounding some of the options are imaginative though, I'm not sure if I'll use any of them but they do make me think.

As far as The Lost World is concerned, the movie may be nothing like the book, but let's be honest here. Which is better for Xander to interact with? The book where the general population doesn't find out about the dinosaurs and thus the third Jurassic Park film which I really want to do would never happen because all of the dinosaurs are infected with some species killing disease. Or the film, in which a T-Rex rapages through downtown San Diego thus allowing the general populace to discover the existence of Ingen's genetic tampering and the villification of Ian Malcolm's original story concerning the Jurassic Park Incident, which in turn leads to JP 3 in which Alan Grant is shanghaied onto Isla Sorna and then we get the added fun of having Xander comment on the Kirbys. And perhaps a new angle in which Paul Kirby actually dies, Amanda Kirby is almost killed, Billy Brennan might not actually come back from his tumble down river and instead of the marines John Hammond shows up with a special team that rescues the island trapped natives ala The Initiative. Only not the Initiative cause like they're not JP continuity.

I mean that small of a group on the island in JP 3 there should have been a hell of a lot more casualties. And changing it so the kid doesn't stay there for eight weeks before his parents DO anything right off the bat makes things way better.

So I think I'll be sticking with the movie, I mean the movie is shorter then the book by a long margin and I don't want to just copy paste entire sections of Crichton's novel with only Xander thrown in for whatever reason. That in no way makes for good storytelling... Well sure I did that with the first movie for the most part, but since I'm still not 100% on Xander going to Isle Sorna during the events of The Lost World then that means I'd only have him present for the opening scene with Malcolm and Hammond and the closing scene with the news broadcast on the Rex's Rampage, thus leaving the entire middle of the story to resolve around Xander and his Pack doing something off camera. Maybe some espionage. Or dealing with other dinosaurs who could escape the island because hey, the Rex lone couldn't have killed everybody on that boat the way it was shown.

Er, anyway, yeah. I'm really glad you've enjoyed this series so far. I'm sorry I can't use the book like you would want but if I did that then I'd have to put it in Literature. Plus do you have any idea how long that book is? Man it'd take me eighteen months just to go through it all and find the best places to make changes for including Xander. That's too much work for just a work of fanfiction fun that's supposed to be humorous and entertaining, not tedious and... 'Been there, read that syndrome.' And I'm not trying to be a jerk. So, yeah, I think that covers everything. LOL :D
Review By [TTrunks] • Date [15 Feb 09] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Kendra is What..." from espinosaca
Well for the votes I select option C for the first one and I think D and C of the second one are plausible.
Review By [espinosaca] • Date [14 Feb 09] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Kendra is What..." from Crayshack
This is the only ficlet collection I have realy enjoyed. Keep writing!
Review By [Crayshack] • Date [14 Feb 09] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Kendra is What..." from ReflectionsOfReality
Interesting part and very amusing but I am surprised you did not include the all of them Hermaphrodites option in the poll. Though all things said and done Xander was possessed by a true Raptor primal and not Imagen's versions of the raptors so there would be a lot less chance of them being Hermaphrodites.

Personally I like the idea of E) 4 boys and 1 girl as I can imagine the situation where the girl always has to deal with her over protective siblings even if she has an Alpha personality.

I don't like the idea of A on the next options but I do like the B) accelerated growth rate with the provision that once they reach teen years they resume normal rate of aging and at maturity they age slower and without the usual geriatric conditions when they reach old age, this would also include an instinctual intelligence so as that they would be more intelligent than their peers at the same relative ages. I also think C) them disliking clothes but I can see it being more a logic and comfort thing than just mimicking Big Sisters along with the deal where every child goes through the no clothes stage. The D option with the albino could be interesting but I don't think it would be a big deal any way.

I wonder where this series might be headed next,
Comments from author:
Wow, nobody so far is too keen on A. And that's the one that I was thinking of doing the most because of all the juicy dark fun I could have with Kendra being devastated and Xander going off on a rampage to kill like half the demon population of Sunnydale... Oh well if nobody likes the thought of one of the children being eaten I can't fault them for it, although it does happen in nature on occasion.

Four boys and one girl huh? Man could you imagine how much posturing would be involved in that once they reached adulthood? Could be fun or could be too much. Oh well we'll wait and see. *nods* Glad you've enjoyed the stories so far.
Review By [ReflectionsOfReality] • Date [14 Feb 09] • Rating [7 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Kendra is What..." from CPTSkip
Lol! Great update. I can't wait to see what the kids are like. As for your poll, I vote: B) Four Girls & One Boy just because I like sisters 'cause I've got two great ones and C) The children should hate wearing clothes because Big Sisters Rina, Tianna & Glenna don't have to. The last should lead to a lot of fun as the parents chase the kids and their "sisters" laugh their asses off.
Comments from author:
Wow, three people so far want Xander to have four girls. FOUR. LOL If it's that popular among the rest of the readers who may also review then we may have a winner. :D Glad you liked this chapter. Edit Whoops that should be two people want Xander to have four girls. Heh my bad.
Review By [CPTSkip] • Date [14 Feb 09] • Not Rated
Page: 1 of 4 next end
StoryReviewsStatisticsRelated StoriesTracking