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Capacity for Wings

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Review of chapter "~*~" from Harry
Review:
A very interesting little tale. Buffy, the daughter of the Doctor. A Time Lady of a sort. Not just the Slayer. And when she FINALLY meets him, its a reunion. A very well done tale indeed.
Review By [Harry] • Date [18 Apr 14] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "~*~" from (Recent Donor)ConstanceTruggle
Review:
Amazing read! Loved it and am now off to the sequel. Thanks for sharing!

CT.
Review By [(Recent Donor)ConstanceTruggle] • Date [17 Nov 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "~*~" from ShyBob
Review:
Definitely a melancholy piece, although the intriguing storytelling and pacing kept drawing me on to the resolution. I like your Time Lord version of Buffy, but feel bad for her, even though she's found her father.
Review By [ShyBob] • Date [8 Oct 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "~*~" from ZippySaboteur
Review:
wow....This was great.
Review By [ZippySaboteur] • Date [27 Feb 13] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "~*~" from adamjb
Review:
I really like the concept, and the story started out OK, but I started losing interest about halfway through. I was also very confused by the Buffy on Earth and the Buffy roaming the universe. What was going on?

Some writing tips:

You use the phrase "she finds" far too much. "She finds herself smiling," "She finds herself being dragged," "She finds herself leaning against a shelf." Use more active verbs. "She smiles," "He drags her," "She leans against a shelf."

Also, try to cut down on you adverb use.

One of your more awkward paragraphs:

“Just passing through,” she says, vaguely recognizing the words leaving her mouth as the heavy twang of the local slang.

Nothing after "she says" is really necessary. You have an adverb, Buffy is acting as a passive observer of herself, twang and slang rhyme, and slang is not the correct word. I think you meant "accent", or "dialect". If you want to keep the idea, perhaps: “Just passing through,” she says, her voice adopting the local twang.

You also repeat yourself a lot, and occasionally contradict something that you've just said.

[quote]
It’s simple, life on Boeshane, and *easy*. Sex is fun and love is *easy*, and when the fishing is bad and the money runs out and the raiders pass them over just barely, they [who are "they"?] refuse to give up, refuse to lie down.

On Boeshane, there’s always laughter in the air. *Not because life is easy* there but because the people are. They enjoy what they have and let the rest go.
[/quote]

[quote]
Life on Boeshane is simple. Sex is fun and love is easy, and when the fishing is bad and the money runs out, the people refuse to give up, refuse to lie down.

On Boeshane, there’s always laughter in the air. The people enjoy what they have and let the rest go.
[/quote]
Comments from author:
Sorry you lost interest partway through, even though I'm not entirely sure why you kept reading if you did.

As for the adverb use and the repetition, that's called a writing style and I'm sorry you don't like mine, but that's not going to make me start writing dry reports instead of stories. Fiction, fan or otherwise, isn't about what's 'necessary' and it never should be.

Enjoy your Sunday!
Cheers
Review By [adamjb] • Date [30 Sep 12] • Rating [6 out of 10]
Review of chapter "~*~" from starshinedown
Review:
Lovely. I've read this a couple of times, and I get teary-eyed each read-through. Thank you for sharing this!
Review By [starshinedown] • Date [19 Jun 12] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "~*~" from Shaybo
Review:
Loved it ;D
Review By [Shaybo] • Date [12 Dec 11] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "~*~" from Callista
Review:
wow. Strange. And Great with a capital G.
Review By [Callista] • Date [20 Jul 11] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "~*~" from nFaele
Review:
This is awesome. Thanks.
Review By [nFaele] • Date [4 Feb 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "~*~" from (Past Donor)FireDragon
Review:
That was awesome. but I want to know what happens now? and squee JACK!! I love it.
Review By [(Past Donor)FireDragon] • Date [7 Jan 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "~*~" from Taryn
Review:
AWESOME!!!
Review By [Taryn] • Date [11 Dec 10] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "~*~" from Taryn
Review:
AWESOME!!!
Review By [Taryn] • Date [11 Dec 10] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "~*~" from vitruvian
Review:
Very tempted not to even read the other stories in this category and just make this my COA pick for DW cross right now. Now off to see if the sequel deals at all with those niggling questions like how an Arched Time Lord becomes a Slayer, or if the other Slayers such as Kendra and Faith even exist in this version.
Review By [vitruvian] • Date [27 Sep 10] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "~*~" from (Recent Donor)christytrekkie
Review:
Okay I'm crying like a bleeding idiot again!!
Review By [(Recent Donor)christytrekkie] • Date [12 Sep 10] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "~*~" from paradocs
Review:
Hello,
And now I'm all nervous. Don't know why . . .
I happened upon this story while browsing for possible candidates for the CoAs. I found this and I was pleasantly - possibly euphorically - surprised. Two reasons. I tend to overlook authors who write Het Buffy relationships; this is not a slight, merely a preference. Not to say that this story exhibits a strong 'Buffy pairing'; possibly why I enjoyed it even more. Second - my history with Dr. Who stretches to the days of Tom Baker on TVO, Ontario's version of PBS, and a fortunate encounter with three boys from England who encouraged me to watch. I recall that all three had a fierce, nightmare provoking, dread of Daleks.
Honestly, I haven't seen much since those days. But . . . I don't think you really need to have a history in Dr. Who to enjoy the story. And you certainly don't need one to appreciate the writing: a beautiful, transcendent, emotional kick in the head . . . Had to add the last before I started sounding like a pale faced, black nailed, wine toting artsy f*ck. Pardon the language. I love art in writing. I have been a poet pretend, a pseudo artist and a wanna be writer - combine all three and add success and you have this - 'Capacity For Wings'.
Um, 'case you hadn't figured - I nominated you, I expect with many others.
Thank you for your story and patience,
Happy Night,
Shawn
Comments from author:
Language is pardoned. Somehow I get a kick out of making people curse. Real emotion and all that. Thank you for the kind words and thank you even more for the nomination.

Cheers
Review By [paradocs] • Date [22 Jul 10] • Not Rated
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