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Sun Slayer

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Review of chapter "Crossing the Knoll" from Cristina
Review:
mice chapter...hope you'll update soon...Liked the byplay between the 3
Review By [Cristina] • Date [28 Oct 09] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Crossing the Knoll" from whirleeq
Review:
Okami! I love this game... I play it on the Wii. It is nice to see such an original crossover. I like the way that Buffy handles herself in such a strange environment, and the report that she has with Ammy. So far, you have her handling herself well in fights without making her 'super buffy'. :) Be careful about repeating too much of the story line of the game though...
Comments from author:
Well, what do you want me to do? The essential reason I wrote this fic was to see how much impact Buffy would have on the game's storyline. Since I introduced her near the beginning of the game, repeating the game's story is pretty much inevitable. She promised Ammy she'd help out, and she will. Besides, she won't have a way to get home until the story's end, so just bear with me.
Review By [whirleeq] • Date [29 Aug 09] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Crossing the Knoll" from JustJesting
Review:
Slight issues with the first chapter: it's the usual "awe as the crossover character appears doing amazing feats" introduction. Thankfully you at least avoided the total Mary Sue and didn't make her more powerful than Ammy. And considering that this is only at the beginning of the game, a similar level may even be possible. I am looking forward to your solution to the goddess problem - Ammy's getting her powers back, techniques and weapons. Buffy is getting at least the last two, I suppose. Will it suffice to keep up?

Chapter 3 is rather heavy with the exposition - can't be avoided, I guess. Can't really be rated either as the info is important, especially in insert stories. And considering that the vast majority of TtH won't be familiar with the game (I am basing this on the games' sales, not on the nerd factor:-), there is no other way. Now that this is past us, I look forward to new chapters.

For a first story, this is great. Keep up the good work!

Thanks for writing,
Just in Jest
Comments from author:
Now see, people, THIS is the kind of feedback I want. Thanks for the comments, Just in Jest!

As to your concerns...well, I have to admit, the introductory chapter is a little cliche, but I'm doing my best to keep Buffy from being Mary-Sueish. As to the exposition, I knew that Okami hadn't really sold well enough to be well-known. Hopefully, this fic will inspire people to buy the game - it's available for PS2 or Wii, folks, though I recommend the PS2 version!

As to the problem of Ammy being a goddess and Buffy being a (semi)normal human, I do have a solution for that, although it won't come until much later, and Buffy will be forced to leave some fights to Ammy. I am going to give Buffy a weapon, though it isn't going to be a Celestial weapon...at least not at first.

Before anyone asks, I am NOT planning on any pairings at this point, although that may change. Keep the comments/critique coming, people!
Review By [JustJesting] • Date [27 Aug 09] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Crossing the Knoll" from war
Review:
good story looking forward to your next chapter.
Comments from author:
I appreciate the comments, war, but I'd like a little more feedback than just 'good story'. Nothing personal, I just want to know whether there's anything that needs improvement. The same goes for everyone else who's left a review.
Review By [war] • Date [27 Aug 09] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "The Coward and the Sapling" from Cristina
Review:
I have no idea who Issun and Ammy are but I'm loving your story.
Keep up with good work.
Comments from author:
Issun and Ammy are from the video game Okami, for the PS2 and Wii. Definitely a good play, you should look into it!
Review By [Cristina] • Date [20 Jul 09] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "The Coward and the Sapling" from war
Review:
good story looking forward to your next chapter.
Review By [war] • Date [12 Jul 09] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "The Fair-Haired Fighter" from NeviDrone
Review:
Very nice. Interesting. I can't wait for more.
Review By [NeviDrone] • Date [9 Jun 09] • Rating [7 out of 10]
Review of chapter "The Fair-Haired Fighter" from Dilvish
Review:
Good chapter. Very interesting.

Update as soon as you can.
Review By [Dilvish] • Date [15 May 09] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "The Fair-Haired Fighter" from war
Review:
interesting start looking forward to your next chapter.
Review By [war] • Date [15 May 09] • Rating [8 out of 10]
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