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Review of chapter "Chapter Two: Spears and Storks" from (Recent Donor)curiouslywombat
Review:
I do hope that you come back to this - it is beautifully written with such a perfect grasp of all the characters.
Review By [(Recent Donor)curiouslywombat] • Date [2 Mar 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Two: Spears and Storks" from BlazeVein
Review:
I hope you could keep up with this story. I truly enjoy it! I just recently watch the HBO tv series of the 1rst Lady Detective Agency and its amazing the job that you did mixing both stories.
Good job :)
Review By [BlazeVein] • Date [13 Nov 10] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Two: Spears and Storks" from (Recent Donor)curiouslywombat
Review:
This is a perfect amalgam of the two - I have absolutely no problem in believing that Xander is lying in the dust outside the Ladies Number One Detective Agency, at all. Well done.
Review By [(Recent Donor)curiouslywombat] • Date [16 Jun 09] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Two: Spears and Storks" from Rod
Review:
I hoped we were going to see Xander. He is such good foreign element because despite being so American, he is fundamentally as kindly and generous as Mma Ramotswe. Weaving the two disparate styles together takes a lot of effort, particularly when Xander's talking, and I'm impressed at how well you've pulled it off.

One really picky point: I have the feeling (though I haven't used it as an excuse to go back and read all the books again (yet)) that Mr J.L.B. Matekoni, that most kind-hearted of men, is always refered to as such, and not as just "Mr Matekoni".
Comments from author:
Quite right. I freely admit to taking a shortcut there!
Review By [Rod] • Date [27 May 09] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Two: Spears and Storks" from (Past Donor)Idhren
Review:
O, you have my heart here, here in the slow rhythm of what is precious and beloved. This is a traditionally built story, comfortable in its slow and steady weaving, formidable in its mass and delicacy. Thank you for reintroducing me to a Mma Ramotswe who sees Motholeli's sudden strength as a miracle, not unnatural, and the latter's Slayer dreams as an uneasy mix of American magical thinking, possible signs of depression, and something out of legend that she doesn't want for the daughter of her heart. And bring in Note in such a way! So perfect. I am simply stewing in anticipation.

The metaphor of Xander as a grounded stork made me laugh and smile. I love that the 'Donut Boy' in Mma Ramotswe's eyes (and hands) is a person to gift with a donut (so very 'Precious'*) rather than the one to fetch it, and that as a man he is not quite as up to snuff on the tending and repair ("No woman would stitch so badly"), no matter what skills he may have picked up or taken onto himself. Xander and his masculinity is not diminished by the association with women's skills; he is simply put in place beneath those who do it better.

I very much enjoy reading from Mma Ramotswe's perspective instead of that of Motholeli or Xander; part of the fun of the No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency is her wit and insight, and the defamiliarization inherent in exploring BtVS-verse from the outside in, so to speak, is quite refreshing.

*Which of course makes me think of 'My own, my Precious...' and the One Ring as the One Donut Ring. Bad mind! Wrong crossover!
Review By [(Past Donor)Idhren] • Date [26 May 09] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Two: Spears and Storks" from (Past Donor)Deerskin
Review:
Beautiful. You capture the tone of the books perfectly. I got a little misty at the end of chapter 3. Looking forward to more.
Review By [(Past Donor)Deerskin] • Date [25 May 09] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Two: Spears and Storks" from LancerFourSeven
Review:
I am amazed by your story -- what a terrific mix. I can't comment on how well you have evoked the atmosphere of the Ladies #1 Detective stories because I haven't read any, but I will now.

Xander's introduction was dead-on perfect. The contrast between the two worlds and how they will (or won't) collide has left me impatient for the next chapter.
Review By [LancerFourSeven] • Date [25 May 09] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Two: Spears and Storks" from VillageOrchid
Review:
I think Xander is too smart and experienced in Africa to accidently be sick, so he's either intentionally made himself sick so that they would trust him and he could interact with the slayer, or that donut was poisoned!
Comments from author:
There are other issues involved in his collapse that will come up next chapter. Suffice it to say that in the four to six months he has been in Africa has been very hard on his health and judgement. A combination of factors lead up to a case of water intoxication.
Review By [VillageOrchid] • Date [25 May 09] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Two: Spears and Storks" from cbq
Review:
I really like the way you've woven Xander into the story. Because of the way you have successfully written in the calming style of the books, as soon as Xander speaks you feel that he is truly foreign and out of place. I'm not explaining very well but as the reader I felt very in tune with the story and Xander jarred me as he would if I was actually there.
It was well done and I'm looking forward to more.
Comments from author:
I might think the jarring note was a failure in writing, but that's actually a major aspect of the story. BtVS and the L#1DA novels are, tonally, worlds apart. Naturally, the appearance of any of the core BtVS characters is going to warp matters.

Xander is an ideal crossover point. One, because in canon (if we ignore "Antique", and damn well I will) he's running around Africa at that point. He is also so very very human--both strengths and frailties that are at the heart of the L#1DA books. Plus he's, you know, awesome.
Review By [cbq] • Date [25 May 09] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Two: Spears and Storks" from (Current Donor)MarcusRowland
Review:
Oh dear - I wonder if she'll be so compassionate towards Xander when she realizes who he is and what's in store for her daughter.
Review By [(Current Donor)MarcusRowland] • Date [25 May 09] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter One: Many Lives" from robertlisle
Review:
This is really good chapter, you seem to have set the stage nicely for your story.
Review By [robertlisle] • Date [19 May 09] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter One: Many Lives" from (Current Donor)MarcusRowland
Review:
This is coming along very nicely. I like it that Precious knows enough of the Slayer legend to be afraid - it's really a pretty horrible story when you think about it. I think your explanation of why they chose a woman makes a lot of sense.

Note is in for a VERY nasty surprise, I hope.
Review By [(Current Donor)MarcusRowland] • Date [19 May 09] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter One: Many Lives" from Rod
Review:
For all my love of Mma Ramotswe and her friends, this crossover never occurred to me. I'm glad; this way I get to read it with delight! You've definitely got the rhythm of the books, and you're shading just enough darkness in that the Buffyverse doesn't seem out of place. Very nicely done.
Review By [Rod] • Date [18 May 09] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Prologue: Miracle At Zebra Drive" from robertlisle
Review:
Now that is a unique crossover. Having read all of the #1 Ladies Detective stories, I hope you can keep the feel of those books along with the added layer of BTVS.
Review By [robertlisle] • Date [18 May 09] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Prologue: Miracle At Zebra Drive" from (Past Donor)exiled
Review:
So this is based on the books? I've seen the some of the TV show on HBO and just started reading the books. I like have your describe things so I know what's going on.

I guess Note and Dru will be coming back to pay a visit.
Comments from author:
Yes, the novels. I'm aware of the TV series and some of the changes they made. Since the novels are free at the library and a cable subscription isn't... the books are serving as canon.

Glad you enjoy the style. I am trying to capture--semi successfully--McCall Smith's prose, with its interior monologues and peculiar rhythms of Botswanan speech.
Review By [(Past Donor)exiled] • Date [17 May 09] • Not Rated
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