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The New Watcher

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Review of chapter "Chapter 1" from Rod
Um. I'm afraid your tenses are all over the place in the first few paragraphs. You start off with "Giles sat", simple past tense, so Giles's reflections about his past should be in a pluperfect tense, "he had done such-and-such." Unfortunately they are also in simple past, except for the ones that are in present tense, and it all starts falling apart. I got so tangled up trying to straighten the timing out that I entirely lost the thread of the story!
Comments from author:
Thanks. I'll correct it.
Review By [Rod] • Date [4 Sep 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter 1" from (Recent Donor)Luna
oooh! I love Simarillion cross-overs! They are few & far between. Look forward to where this goes...
Comments from author:
I'm glad you liked it. I've written part 2 and 3 and I'm working on part 4 of the New Watcher Series.
Review By [(Recent Donor)Luna] • Date [20 Jan 10] • Not Rated
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