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Review of chapter "Chapter One" from Vickzie
Review:
Interesting story so far
Review By [Vickzie] • Date [15 Nov 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from Dragonelf
Review:
I hope you get inspired to add more chapters soon.

::Gives the plot bunny some Waldorf Salad::

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Integrity without knowledge is weak
and useless, and knowledge without
integrity is dangerous and dreadful.
- Samuel Johnson
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Review By [Dragonelf] • Date [13 Jul 09] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from Takarameri
Review:
Great start! I can't wait to see where you go from here.
Review By [Takarameri] • Date [20 Jun 09] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from Damia
Review:
I like the whole idea for the story, and I'm interested to see where you'll go with it. I love that you have Xander with Dawn and that he's still completely Xander.

Some Ideas since you asked and your story intrigued me:

- I too would like to know why Unit is there, though it would make sense if it was because of Martha, who would then contact The Doctor which could explain why he knows of the portal and the 'kids'.

- Dawn is the key, a thing that is outside of time and the relative space that we inhabit, which would mean that she may be able to actually sense the power of the TARDIS on a whole other level.

- (Sorry, have to play devils advocate since everyone else says the doctor would love Dawn)
The Doctor might have a problem with Dawn the way he does with Jack, they are both constants in the universe that never should have existed, because Dawn isn't supposed to be in one specific universe, she should be spread over all dimensions. (theoretically) which might mean that the Doctor wont want her with him because she'll make his skin crawl (literally) the way that Jack does. I mean, the whole reason that Jack wasn't traveling with the doctor anymore was because he flat out said that Jack was Wrong, he shouldn't exist and he couldn't handle having him around him all the time. Though he obviously still likes Jack, as much as he denies it, but he can't be around him. (though I still see him saying "Brilliant" a few times)

- I love the protective Xander. If they get new ID's are they gonna be put down as Sibs? That could be interesting. Also, I'd really like to know the "kids" reaction to the pterodactyl. I can see Dawn wanting to pet it or Xander trying to ride it, just because he's small to actually do so without hurting it.

- As for the Doctor and Xander, I can actually see the two hitting it off rather well, especially since Xander as all those human traits that the Doctor so loves, as well as having a sense of humor and being quick with a quippy come-back. Not to mention, all that practice with Willow and the rest of the girls will make it so Xander has NO problems keeping track of any babbling that may be done.

- As for new titles, none that I have thought of are very good. Most of them involved the words "Day Care" or "Nanny" and end with me giggling. So I figured I'd leave them out :)
Review By [Damia] • Date [3 Jun 09] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from Bobboky
Review:
very cool
Review By [Bobboky] • Date [2 Jun 09] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from Almadynis
Review:
Love it, more please!!!
Review By [Almadynis] • Date [1 Jun 09] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from mrpage
Review:
If this is set after 'The Doctor's Daughter' The Doctor would most likely see her as human with a little extra. Jenny was created by taking his DNA and instant teenage daughter....sound familiar?
Review By [mrpage] • Date [1 Jun 09] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from Elleria
Review:
Looking forward to the next bit.
Review By [Elleria] • Date [31 May 09] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from Calen
Review:
Nah the Doctor is too realistic. Well it would depend on when in the series this is, but if Dawn's presence was a threat I reckon he'd end it in either the most humane or efficient way possible. Yeah he'd be upset by it, but that's his 'curse', 'duty' etc.
Review By [Calen] • Date [31 May 09] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from auntykate
Review:
This is a good start and I'm keen to see how it continues. As for the Doctor and the human/key question... (I'm going from memory here so details may be iffy/completely wrong) During the Tom Baker years there was a 'Key of Time' arc which lasted over several adventures. The Doctor and various companions had to locate the seven pieces of the Key of Time (on orders from the Black and White Guardians), reassemble them and and the completed key over to the Guardians (or I think it may have been the Black Guardian masquerading as the White). The pieces were scattered throughout time and space and disguised as various objects. The final piece was actually a person, a princess who was the seventh daughter of a seventh daughter. The Doctor wanted her to stay human, but she sacrificed herself to save her people/planet/time/the Doctor or something. When the Doctor took the Key to hand it over to the Guardian(s) he realised it was a trap and scattered the parts through time and space again. The Time Lady Romana later regenerated into the appearance of the princess as a tribute to her courage.

So, I'm thinking the Doctor would see Dawn as human. Very dangerous, but human.
Review By [auntykate] • Date [31 May 09] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from bex
Review:
Random thought-
"Now Xander we don't attack the nice alien"
"Somebody needs a nap."
Comments from author:
lol! Please more on that? That's way too funny somehow.
Review By [bex] • Date [31 May 09] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from bex
Review:
Awww Xander and Dawn are so cute I don't know about the story title but I'd love a chapter titled "Nap-time" How old are the kids?
Comments from author:
I'm thinking about 5 for Dawn and 8-10 for Xander.
Review By [bex] • Date [31 May 09] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from ROGMethos
Review:
So far this is great, kid Dawn and Xander are fun, but at lest you kept their mentality. So like everyone else said, the Doctor would totally treat Dawn as human and since it's gonna be 10 showing up, he's gonna be a little over the top about it. He'd call her brilliant or something; but still treat her human, just with a little extra. I'd so love the meeting between Xander and the 10 Doctor. The Doctor would totally get Xander's sense of humor and he's quips and Xander would have no problem with the Doctor babbles.
Hope to read more soon. Idea for a title how about "Essence of a Key" but only if your focusing on Dawn more and Xander just support, other than that, I'm pretty sure no one's used it.....I think, but I'm not placing any bets!!!
Review By [ROGMethos] • Date [31 May 09] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from kayron
Review:
First and foremost, The Doctor should treat Dawn as a human being. She just happens to be a human with a great deal of power, that has the potential to be destructive in the wrong hands. This evil Warlock guy would obviously see Dawn as a tool to be used to further his agenda. The Doctor and Torchwood's priority should be to p[rotect Dawn from the bad guy, and find a way to stop him. At least Xander still gets to be protective big brother. Even if he is in a kid sized package right now.
Review By [kayron] • Date [31 May 09] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from SamDragon
Review:
Which Doctor(Tom Baker is the best) :)
Review By [SamDragon] • Date [30 May 09] • Rating [9 out of 10]
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