nicely done... oh my what a cliff hanger... they just had to arrive to surprise them during such a moment... can`t wait to read more ^_^
Comments from author:
Thanks for the review.
Everytime they have tried to get it on they have been interrupted. At least this time they actually managed to do the deed before anyone turned up lol.
Review By [serenityselena] • Date [8 Oct 11] • Not Rated
So far I like the story but one thing doesn't make sense to me or at least I don't understand. For example in this chapter Buffy doesn't apologize to Shepard but seems to accept he was doing what he needed to when he tried to search her trunk?
Why? They weren't asking to go with the military. In fact it was quite the opposite. Also, from the Atlantis team's perspective it is more likely initially that they are aliens pretending to be from Earth than actually being from Earth.
In the series the away teams never kidnapped people or started fights without thinking there was a major threat they were facing. Yet, Shepard holds them at gunpoint and with minimal information effectively tries to arrest them and force them to go to Atlantis. This is what I found very implausible and did not think was really setup well for this chapter. It didn't make sense to me as to why the Shepard would have been so quick to arrest (by definition it was that or kidnapping) them in the first place. Secondly, afterwards why Buffy, Dawn or Xander would have afterwards thought this reasonable and accepted it so quickly and easily.
So the whole first contact and reaction to it afterwards doesn't seem to me very realistic or well thought out.
However, this is nothing compared to some of the really dumb things the original tv series did in the first place! The story still looks good and should be interesting!
Comments from author:
Hey thanks for reviewing.
Your not the first to notice this and after I re-read the chapter...yeah they were all OOC. In my defense, it was one of the first stories I wrote and hopefully from here on it will be better...fingers crossed anyway.
From what I remember when I first wrote the chapter, I wanted Buffy acting non defensive because she was trying to keep a low profile, not sure if the First could reach them wherever they were but knowing she would flip eventually but in retrospect that may not have come across as well as I hoped.
As for Buffy accepting it though, this was never the case. There will be a face off down the line.
We all know how she likes to hold grudges. Just because she doesn't get revenge straight away, it doesn't mean she has forgotten. What's the saying...retribution is best served cold!
Review By [jimk] • Date [17 Apr 11] • Rating [6 out of 10]
vladt
