It feels like 'somebody' wanted Gibbs' crew to work this case. Great mystery so far, and keeping the superpowered and one-eyed members of the new Council and friends limited in their interactions, will help keep it mysterious.
Review By [batzulger] • Date [26 Aug 09] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Interesting story... cool idea and some good dialogue. Unfortunately, it feels very choppy because all we are seeing is the dialogue. I'm not always sure which character is speaking or when a scene changes. It would be nice to see some of what is going on from a narrators pov.
Review By [DeeRose] • Date [26 Aug 09] • Not Rated
And she'll want to see the body, and put a stake through the heart . Multiple jurisdictions. Hm, the body 'vanishes', and some mysterious "Council" gets involved? If you really want to get 'multiple' have it that Finn's ex now works for the SGC ....
Review By [AllenPitt] • Date [26 Aug 09] • Not Rated
Hehehe. Love the pissing match between Gibbs and the General. Will we be seeing anyone from the Council come by? Please? Pretty Please?
Comments from author:
They'll be showing up soon, though it's taking longer than I planned.
Review By [mmooch] • Date [26 Aug 09] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Three" from dreameralways
Review:
I keep waiting for Agent Sam Finn or Buffy Summers or both to show up to investigate. By now computer warning systems must be going off in both the left over Initiative and slayer central. I'm just curious if they'd work well together or if one will supersede the other. Look forward to the next installment.
Review By [dreameralways] • Date [18 Aug 09] • Not Rated
Nice writing, but the whole situation doesn't make sense.
Since when does NCIS, and *only* NCIS (no local authorities, no emergency services) get called out for a random body in an alley behind a bar? Who is knowledgeable enough, when suddenly finding an unknown body outside a back door, to casually examine the dogtags of said body (killed who knows how long ago), and then know exactly who to call to investigate what happened? (if so your writing didn't make any of that clear at all)
Sorry, it's just a totally illogical and unbelievable setup for the main drabble. You surely can do better, with a bit of thinking, to get logical setups to make a better more believable situation for an interesting scene to write.
Review By [Kremer] • Date [7 Aug 09] • Rating [5 out of 10]