For a start... First paragraph? Two years, not year. You don't need a comma after was, too many in the wrong place throw off the pacing of your story. Know should be no, they aren't the same word. Second paragraph? Same problem with more commas than you need, and you switch tenses from past to present. It should be re-grew, not re-grow. It's basically the same types of problems continuing on from there.
It makes it look like this was just jotted down too quickly and not cleaned up before posting. I'm not trying to be mean, but it really helps to look over things once or twice before posting them up. It's not like it's a long chapter, you shouldn't even really need a beta if they aren't going to go beyond a thousand words.
Just something to take into consideration, since I think this could be good.
Comments from author:
Thank you for you suggestions. I really appreciate them.
Review By [Alestar] • Date [14 Aug 09] • Not Rated
The premise could be interesting, but you need to re-read your work before posting it. You have tenses wrong all over the place. Maybe get someone to read over it after you do, if you just don't see the errors throughout the work.
Good luck. Hope this turns into something fun, there are so few Rangers/BtVS crossovers out there.
Comments from author:
You will have to give me an example of what you mean. Otherwise, I will not know how to fix’s it.
Review By [Alestar] • Date [13 Aug 09] • Not Rated
