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Faith the Destroyer.

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Review of chapter "Chapter Ten." from littlemissmuffet
Review:
Comments from author:
Thank-you, oddly I've never read any Conan books (I've tried but I just can't get into them). The films however are...well it's probably best that you haven't read the books before you see the films!

I'd never thought of putting Faith and Dawn together before this but it seems to work.

Give 'Faith the Barbarian' a try and 'Stop all the Dancing' (I think its called) you might like them. The last story in this series 'Red Dawn' based on the REALLY bad film 'Red Sonya' will be out after Easter.

Cheers,
DaveT.
Review By [littlemissmuffet] • Date [10 Jul 14] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Ten." from Cordyfan
Review:
I was trying to write this morning, but couldn't quite get the damn thing to flow, so I decided to look for something funny to read. I'm really glad I found this series.

One of the funniest stories I've read in a while. Conan is suitably stolid, Faith is really in her element with plenty to fight - even without a big Mac and a shake - and Dawn completely steals the whole show, with a never-ending stream of one liners.

I'm off to read the rest of the series.

Thanks for writing this.
Comments from author:
I'm glad you enjoyed it and I hope your writing block disappears soon.

I particularly enjoyed writing the part where the Queen is trying to tell Faith and Conan what she wants them to do and Dawn keeps butting in!

Hope you like the other stories in this series.

Cheers,
D.
Review By [Cordyfan] • Date [6 Apr 14] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Ten." from maxthehobbit
Review:
This one of the most fun stories I have ever read. Dawn being a snarky dancer left an impression that's hard to shake. I mean Michelle Trachtenberg in a harem girl outfit is Hot. Her wise-cracking was funny as hell. I read a couple of other reviews ... well they can write their own story if they think yours needed something different. I would agree that the Queen in Conan was hot in an evil sort of way. The way you portrayed Conan with the Arnold Austrian accent was also funny. You obviously spent some time making this story. Thanks for sharing. Going to read the rest of this series for sure and probably the rest of your writings as well. Again the way you characterized Dawn was refreshing as well as funny.
Comments from author:
Thank-you and I hope you like the other stories in this series.

This was supposed to be a one-off but it just sort of took off.

This story was firmly based in the film as I'd never read any of the books (I tried but i couldn't get into them). I think some people wanted the book Conan not Arnie's Conan.

Cheers,
D.
Review By [maxthehobbit] • Date [22 Nov 11] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Ten." from (Past Donor)DreamSmith
Review:
Hey there again, from here at the end of the tale.
Annnnnd... not too shabby.

I know it's not fair to you or the story, but I'm still wishing you'd gone in other directions.
(This is my particular 'issue', I guess--I can make up plot faster than I can read, so I get disappointed over things that are completely NOT the fault of you or whatever writer has written it)

Princess Jehenna---I can't help thinking of how awesome it would have been if she'd been an Expy of a young Buffy (tiny, blonde, spoiled, bossy)--There could have been sexual tension between her and Faith, mirroring that of Jehenna and Conan in the film, and... well, there was a serious lack of sexual tension for Faith in this story (Poor Faith!).
Edit: Oh, and also the chance for even more comedy with Dawn, given the reversal of roles where it's Dawn ordering Buffy around, and protecting her, rather than the usual from back in the day.
And, one more thing about Dawn--I know it's your story and your call, but seriously, EVERY single time she uses a sword in this, it felt wrong. I know she used a sword once or twice in the show, but.... Meh. I just don't think it fits her. And in this, you were WRITING her like a thief, like someone who uses daggers, in every single combat situation. Her fighting style was all about cutting throats and hamstringing foes, about speed and agility and darting in when the guy wasn't looking--that's dagger work, and something a dancing girl could do. Leave the swords to the hulking barbarians and the death-incarnate warrior babes.

Still, lots of little touches made this a fun read (the problems with having peacocks wandering around your palace courtyard, for example :-P )
Queen Taramis--Dude, 'age-inappropriate' clothing or not, you have to admit that she was far, far sexier than your average evil queen. (YUM!)

Okay, that's about all I have to say on this one.
Thank you for sharing it with us, good sir!

Edit again: I don't want to get into an argument with you, and I did enjoy the story, but in your reply you said "The trouble with fighting people with swords when you have daggers is that you end up dead", to which I would reply "Yes, but if you have a sword, and the other guy has a sword, and he has longer arms, longer legs, more mass, and more strength than you... not to mention you lack the strength to put your sword through any sort of armor, and most wounds you DO manage to inflict will not be mortal (or at least not quickly mortal) then you are also going to end up dead. Immediately."

Melee combat is brutal, and in no way whatsover is it fair. The ONLY way Dawn would survive is if she were very, very fast (which I don't think she is, here, as you're writing her as human level) or very, VERY skilled, and able to basically insta-kill every opponent, while never ever taking a hit in return... which I also strongly doubt.
I can see her as 'good', or even 'very good', in both speed and skill, but going straight-up against large men, most of whom wear armor, all of whom can crush her if they hit her ONCE... it's just more than my suspension of disbelief can accomodate.
When I said I see her as someone who is more into dagger-work, that was obviously not in the sense of standing there and trading blows with someone. It was doing what you mostly HAVE her doing--jumping on people already wounded, or already distracted, other otherwise engaged, and basically murdering them. That's how a slender girl is going to survive her fight.
(All of that being said, it can still be handwaved as 'Well, just a comedic story, move along, move along'... Fair enough. But it did bother me as I was reading it, especially since you were halfway there already, with her (usual) style of fighting, but then 'breaking' it by insisting on the use of a sword.)
I HAVE seen very skilled women at our fighting events, who can 'take' most male fighters with no problem (and myself as well, though I was never more than average at best, at swordplay), but they are few and far between, and even they have to work for it, every time.

Just out of curiosity, have you ever read any of the 'Emberverse' books by S.M. Stirling? Those are as close to a realistic take on medieval combat as I've seen, and a fantastic read as well. I'd recommend them if you haven't tried them already.

Okay, enough flogging, this poor horse has had enough.
Later!
Comments from author:
The trouble with fighting people with swords when you have daggers is that you end up dead. In all my fics I try to write combat scenes realistically and not as its shown in the films. I think I often make comments comparing what the hero has seen in the movies and what actually happens. Remember that scene where Buffy and Riley are watching the Kung-Fu movie and Buffy's complaining that they're doing it all wrong?

As you spotted Dawn makes up for her lack of strength with speed and agility, and leaves the heavy duty killing to Faith. I think I might have mentioned that Faith gave Dawn fighting lessons. I also wanted to show Dawn as not being helpless like Buffy thought she was. Faith treating her like an equal was one of the strengths of their relationship.

Anyway, thanks for reviewing you seem to have liked this fic, did you look at the others in the series? You might also like to look at my 'Back in the SPQR' series. It has Faith killing nasty things in Ancient Rome. Willow handing Queen Cleopatra the Asp, and so far Buffy fighting as a gladiatrix...buckets of blood and a few laughs!

Cheers,
D.
Review By [(Past Donor)DreamSmith] • Date [3 Nov 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Eight." from (Past Donor)DreamSmith
Review:
Mmm, not finished yet, but I decided to put down a few thoughts.

Firstly, I'm conflicted on this story.
I would honestly have preferred it if you'd written this as a straight crossover or retelling, as opposed to making it a comedy/farce. Granted, the actual movie is pretty lighthearted (verging into silliness at times), but still, my favorite stories, and most especially my favorite FAITH stories, are the ones where there's fire and desperation and struggle and triumph... and in this telling you've chosen to ignore any possibility of those things by going for the laugh instead.
In your defense, there are lots of places where you do indeed succeed with the comedy, and it is, by and large, an amusing story... I just wish it had been, you know... more.

Going on with the list of things that I personally would have liked to see, I was really hoping for some Faith/Dawn shipping. I mean, your setup practically screams Faith/Dawn--the powerful, straightforward swordswoman, the clever and resourceful dancing girl/thief/con-artist... Heck, I'd read that story even if it didn't feature Faith and Dawn.
But again, to give you your due, I was quite amused at how you gave Dawn the lines from... Malick, I believe? The little thief-man from the film--that was genuinely giggleworthy, more than a few times.

Oh, and one last thing before I actually go and finish reading it--well-made chainmail doesn't 'pinch' you much, it at all, though it DOES have an unfortunate tendency to grab and pull out any body hair, one hair at a time (which I think Dawn would approve of, if it were on her legs). Faith is correct of course--you're supposed to wear something under it (more to help absorb impact, though), so the leather underbikini was a good idea.
(And yes, I make, and sometimes wear, chainmaille)

Okay, off to read the last two chapters. I'm sure I'll have more to say when I've finished.
Comments from author:
I actually knew a young woman who wore a chainmail bikini without anything underneath! Never again, she told me and my friends. Yes, she did say that it pulled out body hair and she also complained of it pinching in all the wrong places!

Faith/Dawn-ship; well I did think about it but decided it was a bit obvious and I might want them in relationships with other people in later stories.

I did a Faith/Dawn-ship in my 'Grim Up North' series from the story 'Severance' onwards I think you'll find.

Action? Its been a while but I think theres action later on.

Ok, on to your next review.
D.
Review By [(Past Donor)DreamSmith] • Date [3 Nov 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Ten." from GundumM
Review:
unusual
Comments from author:
I hope that's 'unusual' in a good way.

Cheers,
DaveT.
Review By [GundumM] • Date [1 Apr 10] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from Wolflady
Review:
Fun story! Interesting twist, I've seen the move, wasn't Bombata supposed to be an eunuch? Which was why the princess had been left with him?
Comments from author:
Thanks-didn't he have a goatie? if he did he couldn't be a eunuch...can't say I remember to be honest. Maybe he was but he got better!

Cheers,
DaveT.
Review By [Wolflady] • Date [11 Feb 10] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Ten." from (Moderator)jrabbit
Review:
So, if my arithmatic is right we have 4 heroes in need of a disguse, but the discovery of 6 naked washer women. The question begs what were the perverts doing to the other 2? And its not even as if they had the horn (so to speak)!
Comments from author:
Ah! You see Conan, being so big, would take up two or three washer women disguises by himself!

It simple really...honest!

Cheers,
DaveT.
Review By [(Moderator)jrabbit] • Date [23 Sep 09] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Ten." from Xeelia
Review:
Great Story! Will there be a sequel?
Comments from author:
Thank-you, sequel in the pipeline.

Cheers,
DaveT.
Review By [Xeelia] • Date [23 Sep 09] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Ten." from JoshuaRichardson
Review:
A little heavy handed, perhaps, but all-in-all, quit funny.
Comments from author:
In my defense I have to say, so was the original!

Thanks for the review.

DaveT
Review By [JoshuaRichardson] • Date [23 Sep 09] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Ten." from MistofRainbows
Review:
Really didn't like the last chapter with Faith throwing her to Conan. Didn't really like them saving the princess bitch. The rest was quite amusing though.
Comments from author:
Can't please all of the people all of the time...and you'd be foolish to try.

The solution to the problem was typically 'Faith' I thought. And I think you're being a little harsh on Queen Jehnna, to me its obvious she wants to do what's right for her country.

Cheers,
DaveT.
Review By [MistofRainbows] • Date [22 Sep 09] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Ten." from Dragonelf
Review:
Sequel please.

::Gives the plot bunny some Chicken Sandwiches::

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What is important in life is life, and not the result of life.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
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Comments from author:
Sequel in the pipeline...sometime around xmas?

Cheers,
DaveT.
Review By [Dragonelf] • Date [22 Sep 09] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Ten." from Tempi
Review:
Brilliant story. I hope you have plans for a sequel. After all Conan appeared in more than one film! *hint, hint*

I really liked that Faith eventually reconsidered her traditional barbarians clothes and went for more practical gear. And her solution to the "Lets sacrifice Dawn the Virgin" was priceless (and logical).

I look forward to your next story.
Comments from author:
Thank-you, Faith and Dawn will be riding again hopefully around xmas time in 'Faith the Barbarian'. There may also be a sequel to the sequel based on 'Red Sonja' (Red Dawn?).

Cheers,
Davet.
Review By [Tempi] • Date [22 Sep 09] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter Ten." from batzulger
Review:
And a rousing sort of heroic finale!!!!

A fine story, but of course the sequel needs a hellgod...Glorificus in the Hyborian age.
Comments from author:
Hellgods hmmm I don't think so...but...well we'll see. Insane religious leaders maybe?

Cheers,
DaveT.
Review By [batzulger] • Date [22 Sep 09] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Ten." from MarcusRowland
Review:
I want to read more about Queen Faith!
Comments from author:
Faith the Barbarian is in the pipeline. I'd write faster if I didn't have to go to work five days out of seven!

Thanks for all the reviews,
DaveT.
Review By [MarcusRowland] • Date [22 Sep 09] • Not Rated
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