Large PrintHandheldAudioRating
using
 paypal
Twisting The Hellmouth Crossing Over Awards - Results
Is your email address still valid?

Invite me in

StoryReviewsStatisticsRelated StoriesTracking
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from MaxPayne
Review:
Superb!
Review By [MaxPayne] • Date [12 Apr 13] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from lorwen
Review:
wow...
intense...
:)
Review By [lorwen] • Date [22 Feb 11] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from (Current Donor)Anaraine
Review:
How delightfully heart-wrenching. Just... owwww. My poor heart. And Xander! What a choice to make!

Since this was just a "jotted down" post, I'll (mostly) skip over the writing critique. Just want to say that your word choices are excellent, and flow nicely with each other. Very impressed with that.

As to the premise, can I say that I'm totally floored? What a beautiful idea! (Not to mention that I'm gleeful that Xander wasn't abandoned on purpose. Is that wrong of me? I'm glad that the Scoobies were killed, instead of leaving Xander behind for greater things or something.) Lucifer trying to tempt Xander into relinquishing his body for malevolent purposes... And Xander wondering if he has the strength to fight against this without his friends. Lucifer is really pushing the right buttons, too...

I would delight in a follow up or a sequel of some sort... but I totally know about the time constraints of real life.

However, something to take note of: Since you mentioned the First, can we assume that Sunnydale is a crater? If so, then Xander should have a lighter version of support. Like, baby slayers he's trained or something. I can't imagine him just passing his girls on - I think they'd maintain at least a light correspondence. And with the Scoobies dead, who's running the IWC? I would assume Xander would still be one of the main leaders there, too. And you didn't mention Faith. It's possible to take her character in both directions (a good friend, or a reluctant ally) but I think she would do something to try and help, too. It depends on what has happened since Sunnydale. (I haven't watched Angel, so I actually don't know if the Fang Gang is still hanging around - but if they are, I think they'd try to help, too.)

Since he hasn't tried reaching out to anyone yet, (you clearly displayed that he's wallowing) as a stand-alone, this works fine. But since Lucifer is trying to break down his feeble and cracked walls, I'd like to think he'd try to reach out to anyone before completely giving in. I dunno, maybe that's just me.

Anyways, I still think it's a brilliant idea, but it'd be even better if you fleshed it out a little bit more.
Comments from author:
Thank you, I'm glad you like the idea, and I've been muddling through a sequel but I don't feel like I've given the concept/idea justice. Your things about the baby slayers and Faith is something that I've considered while writing the sequel but I'm concentrating on Xander's emotional wreck rather than the support system that he should have. I want the whole Lucifer concept to work and it wouldn't if Faith and the slayers were around to help Xander so my idea is that he's grieving and still somewhat in shock and he's withdrawn from any reminders.

Don't know if it worked but I'm trying and involving Sam and Dean and their baggage was actually very fun. Anyway give the next one a try, it's called "Indecision" and leave me a comment on areas where you think improvement is needed, other than than the slayers/Faith, I don't plan on mentioning them other than a vague line on how he resents them somewhat.

I'm glad you enjoyed this and thank you for the review.
Review By [(Current Donor)Anaraine] • Date [4 Oct 09] • Rating [7 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from DennSedai
Review:
Delightfully evil and heart wrenching...hmmmm Poor Xander, stuck there fighting against the Devil all on his own and terribly torn...oh damn.
Comments from author:
Wow, thank you. I know, isn't the idea awesome? When I watched that I episode I practically pictured it.
Review By [DennSedai] • Date [2 Oct 09] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from angelus
Review:
Poor Xander kind of would like to see what Xander would be like possessed by Lucifer though afterall we are supposed to see what Sam would be like possessed next week. That should be very interesting.
Comments from author:
Hmm, I would like to see it too but that would be positively evil. I haven't had time to watch the next eps but they're saved in my DVR hopefully I'll be able to see them by next week. Hopefully but not likely.
Review By [angelus] • Date [26 Sep 09] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from MavenAlysse
Review:
Holy..... ::blink:: unholy? ... ::blink, blink:: ..... .... .....


-- I'm not sure what just happened, but I think you broke her. --


::shaking head:: Um... damn. Literally.

Part of me actually hopes he took Lucifer up on his offer. Poor, poor Xander.

Excellent story. Heartwrenching and chill-inducing.

Thank you ever so much for sharing.

-MavenAlysse
Comments from author:
Oh wow, high compliments. Thank you.
Review By [MavenAlysse] • Date [25 Sep 09] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from Caliadragon
Review:
Wow! This was so powerful. I loved it and am sad you won't have a sequel.


Thanks
Calia
Comments from author:
Thank you so much, especially since it was written so quickly. I'm thinking of a sequel but the idea is just really clogging around the noggin and I don't want to give people to much hope of something soon since time for myself is sporadic at best.

I'm glad you enjoyed it. My idea for a sequel is introducing Castiel and having Xander travel with the brothers. Dean (the non-believer) and Sam (the one straddling the line) with Castiel hoping furiously that Xander chooses good and Lucifer sending demons left and right to sweeten the deal.
Review By [Caliadragon] • Date [24 Sep 09] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from JediLaSombra
Review:
Let the right one in, Xan.

Nice story. Hope you get inspired to continue
Comments from author:
Thank you, I'm glad you liked it. I just had a killer idea. Castiel entering the picture, Xander with two angels on his shoulder, each asking him to pick a side. The idea is blooming but I'm kind of scared of venturing into a new story with the unfinished ones I have hanging around.
Review By [JediLaSombra] • Date [24 Sep 09] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from bex
Review:
Don't do it Xan! Go have hot agsty sex with sam or dean instead! ;)
Comments from author:
Hmm, smexxy thoughts. Interesting. Oh wow, I just pictured him with Castiel just now. It would be an interesting view of two angels on your shoulder begging you to pick a side. Would probably make Xander go mad but nonetheless interesting. Hmm, *ponders* that actually sounds like a good idea. Hmm...
Review By [bex] • Date [24 Sep 09] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter One" from Lady
Review:
Thank you for ripping my insides out and before breakfast too. (Note to self no fic before food.) Very interesting and nicely written but very sad.
Comments from author:
Thank you. I felt horrible while writing it but it was such a cool thought that I had to put it down before it escaped.
Review By [Lady] • Date [24 Sep 09] • Not Rated
StoryReviewsStatisticsRelated StoriesTracking