Pretty story, it could grow up and become a really interesting one particularly just to see how it would alter the Anita Blake timeline and how amusing it is to see Harry and her go head to head. Rarely have I seen it be a story where Harry still has good relations with the magical world where he could easily contact any one to get any useful spells that might be needed at a later point in time. Even better if you make it so that Harry is not too strong (strongest wizard around would be fine but not demi god level as that probably defeat the purpose of a decent story) maybe throw in a neat animagus form (personally I would go for a cliched magical animal form just to make sure he is almost automatically transferred to the top of the pecking order, just love to see the coalition try to start something when in less time than it takes them to shift Harry could become a 50 foot dragon or an immortal fire bird that can claw out eyes and lift anything while being also able to move from place to place in a burst of flame) while not making him with any particular affinity to necromancy(though possession of the Hallows would definitely be interesting if it would allow him to suppress any necromantic abilities if he wished) and mostly immune to vampric abilities... OK maybe pushing the tooo powerful cliche but it could still be fun to do.
Any chance of convincing you to write a sequel? Pretty please with a Nathaniel on top?
~Reflections
Comments from author:
Damn you! You just had to put a Nathaniel on top ... I just love Nathaniel.
I'll have to see what comes to me but you have given me some good ideas. I just love animagus!Harry and I think a Nundu would fit this story so well. It's a leopard but it's like comparing one of our elephants with a Lord of the Rings elephant thing. XD
My readers are going to hate me. I've got so many stories going that I think will be drabbles and then I get an idea and it turns into an all out story and everything else gets shoved to the back-burner. But I wanted to write again and I'm not complaining ... much. XD
Eh, I don't like how you jumped through the fight scene. Not that you needed to spell the fight scene out... You carried the sense of dislocation/disorientation well, but disjointed words and/or a trailing sentence after what you've written could ease the transition.
Jumpiness = good
Rushed jumpiness = bad
Or somesuch. ;)
Excellent otherwise :)
Awesome guy for the pard to end up with... I hope they like the UK's climate :D
...
EDIT: Oh! Raina (not Anita) was the woman who ran in - so she's the beat-up werewolf. Gotcha. Okay, you can probably ignore the previous comment. Turns out my mind was objecting to what I thought was the introduction of three elements to the room with only sufficient description for two. Makes more sense now
Review By [Shieldage] • Date [8 Oct 09] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Shieldage