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Mummy's Coming Home

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Review of chapter "Chapter Two" from (Recent Donor)Luna
Good addition to the story!
Comments from author:
Thanks, hun!
Review By [(Recent Donor)Luna] • Date [26 Jan 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Two" from CrystalBlaze
If you follow this up, please have Dawn kill Bellatrix.

It's a Bella trait: In canon, she blasted Sirius through the Veil and laughed when she realised.
Review By [CrystalBlaze] • Date [13 Jan 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Two" from futuresnlwriter
A very interesting premise. And one can never overdo the crazy when it comes to Bella.
Review By [futuresnlwriter] • Date [12 Jan 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Two" from LeaFairy
Wow, this was a completely awesome idea! Bellatrix as Dawn's mother is so freaking wicked and well a little bit scary! lol. I wonder if Rodolphus is Dawn's father?

The scene between Buffy and Bellatrix was especially good. I loved the way most of the spells didn't effect Buffy, or at least not at full strength and Bellatrix was awesome with her insane anger at the thought of her daughter being around (taken) by those muggles. I am curious as to why Dawn reacted the way she did? Why did she just watch and then go with Bella when Buffy was bleeding out? Does she not have a strong bond/feeling toward Buffy?

The idea of the magical bond that Bellatrix's feels towards Dawn (between mother and child) and being able to instantly know she had a daughter and where she was is really fascinating.

Anyways, thanks for the fantastic story... I hope to read more in the future!!

:EDIT: Ooh, I really *love* the idea of dark!Dawn! I also love the idea that the bond between mother and daughter is somewhat influencing her too, along with living on the Hellmouth and of course having Bella as a mother to begin with. Awesomeness all around =)
Comments from author:
I'm going to be an evil author and leave you hanging on the fatherhood question. XD *cackles*

I'm hoping to make Dawn dark (not sure how dark yet but it will be hidden from the Scoobs) in this one--she's part Black after all and most of them are crazy as well as dark. Even Sirius had his moments. (Sending Snape to meet a werewolf who just happens to be your best friend? That could have gotten Snape killed and Remus 'put down'. That was harsh yet so true to the Black blood.) Still, our little Dawnie takes after Bella in her sadistic streak.

I'm also thinking that the 'motherhood magic' is affecting Dawn somewhat. She feels a connection to Bellatrix and that's sparked her curiosity.

Sorry if the explanations weren't clearer, I'm pantsing this story as I go along so there are a lot of unsureties.
Review By [LeaFairy] • Date [12 Jan 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Two" from jormunguard
I like it so far. And here's a possiblity to think about, instead of a mixed up Bella clone how about making her the daughter of Bella and Buffy. It would explain the small differences without going the clone route.
Review By [jormunguard] • Date [12 Jan 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Chapter Two" from (Current Donor)WildMartin
Great start, Dawn seems a bit too calm, usually when she's kidnapped she's very flippant, but perhaps she's in shock or something. If you don't mind, could you tell me when in the BtVS timeline chapter 2 takes place?
Comments from author:
The Dawn of this story is going to be darker (not sure how much yet) than the Dawn of canon--she's part Black after all and the magic that has been tugging at Bella has connected with her so she's fairly calm, but I'll give an explanation to all that in the coming chapters. Unless I need to change the timeline, it will likely take place just before or just after Glory's entrance.
Review By [(Current Donor)WildMartin] • Date [11 Jan 11] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Mummy's Coming Home" from (Recent Donor)Luna
LOVE how you described the creation of a magical child :)
Review By [(Recent Donor)Luna] • Date [28 Jul 10] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Mummy's Coming Home" from Prometeus
Wow, creepy.
Review By [Prometeus] • Date [14 Jun 10] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Mummy's Coming Home" from RowanChick
Awesome Story!!! I love the the Bellatrix could be Dawn's mother plot cause if Dawn was made from Buffy wouldn't you expect her to take on some of Buffy's traits but she doesn't seem to show any in the series. When she was made by the monks they could have used Blood magic and had her Genes twisted then there might be a chemical overload or something in her brain which makes her like dark magic better than light and with the influence of the Hellmouth not a good combination so she could steadily turn dark, lol just a theory!! But I can't wait to see more of what you do the story!!!

Good Job
Review By [RowanChick] • Date [21 Oct 09] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Mummy's Coming Home" from VillageOrchid
Very nice. In terms of Bella's "traits" do you mean insanity? Or being cunning and obsessive? I think a lot of how she turned out was due to environment. I'd like to see more in this continuity, if you please.

Okay... but the hellmouth is seeped in Dark magic. Maybe Dawn would have a personality change or a freak-out or wild magic, once she left the power of the hellmouth? Maybe for some strange reason, dark magic was keeping her sane or alive?
Comments from author:
I was thinking of what type of affect such dark magic would have on her. Bella is probably steeped in it and with magic you never know for sure what you're going to get. There's also the spell by the monks themselves. Stealing DNA and then 'creating' life ... sounds fairly dark on it's own even if it was for the protection of the Key. I think all that Dark Magic would have some kind of affect on her 'birth'. I've also gotta ask when the Monks got Bella's DNA and what, if any, type of affect the Dementors would have on it.

I never understood how they made Dawn out of Buffy in the first place as she's not a clone but maybe they made a clone and then just shuffled the genes around a bit so if we use that for Dawn in this instance then she'd be a mixed up clone of Bella. That'd probably have an affect on her as well. *shrugs*

My mind is a dangerous place and kind of hard to understand sometimes ... even for me.

Any ideas?
Review By [VillageOrchid] • Date [20 Oct 09] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Mummy's Coming Home" from LeaFairy
Wow, what a twisted idea... I love it! lol. Great job!!
Comments from author:
Thank you!! My mind is a scary place. XD
Review By [LeaFairy] • Date [20 Oct 09] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Mummy's Coming Home" from saturnssailor
I love this idea and I can't wait to see what becomes of it and if anybody picks it up. Too bad I'm a terrible writer. :p
Comments from author:
Thanks! I've got my fingers crossed as well. XD
Review By [saturnssailor] • Date [20 Oct 09] • Not Rated
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