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Review of chapter "Worm Theory and Plans" from AndreaMaine
Review:
Hey I read your story and I think you have something really interesting going on here. It's a shame that your muse keeps leaving you as I would be interested in seeing where it goes after chapter 6.
Review By [AndreaMaine] • Date [4 Oct 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Worm Theory and Plans" from AlecMcDowell
Review:
This is one of the stories being written now that has such a great concept I've read it multiple times. I like the way the rebirth is being reworked into Sunnydale a lot. As for Willow and them immediately thinking the Cylons will be bad- the only negative I saw in that prophecy is *maybe* Buffy will die along with the rest of the magic. I personally think she'd more likely just be normal again, but whatever. Why wouldn't it be a good thing if all the Hellmouths were closed. If I had to choose between not having magic and vampires trying to end the world, the choice is pretty obvious.

I noticed something in this read through. When Xander was looking at Leobon before he activated he thought that Leobon looked different from how he did on the Colonies. Is this just an age factor, or are these Cylon models going to be slightly different so that they don't resemble Earth actors? Hope to hear a bit more about the new number 7 in the next chapter- random idea but it'd be pretty interesting if it ended up being one of the Initiative boys (Riley, Graham) to be used for military infiltration purposes or something similar...
Review By [AlecMcDowell] • Date [13 Dec 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Worm Theory and Plans" from emrysgood
Review:
i like it. hope you break reats you well. perhaps the slash will be lt. Crashdown/xander? :)
Review By [emrysgood] • Date [16 Oct 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Worm Theory and Plans" from ahindle
Review:
Only recently got into BSG and even then I'm pretty weak on the details of that story line, most of the fanfics I've read where either about the destruction of a society and the human hardships that they endured to survive or a few brave souls attempting to do a crossover like you are only to stop dead and drop the story.

So its kinda interesting to see the Cylon point of view instead of writers aiming at the 'lets-kill-ever-speck-of-humanity-possible' which is what most authors do then somehow try to cross it over with another genre which kinda just makes things icky cause there's very few that you could crossover with bsg or caprica. Technically i could see bsg crossing over with sgc more than btvs or AtS but you've got it crossed in the Buffy verse where it could conceivably start, such as the Halloween episode.

Far as the Sam and Kara debate thingy you've got going on not exactly to worried about that since again I'm so weak on knowledge in the bsg genre that to say one way or another just wouldn't jive now. However i can point out something after reading few almost nasty reviews about that subject and its something that I've repeatedly said to any author that I've reviewed for... so here goes the following.


To any current or prospective author out there thinking of putting pen to paper and writing out a story using characters established from other authors. I.E...Fanfiction.

The instant you write your first word on any story using any character it instantly becomes ALTERNATE UNIVERSE AND CAN NOT BE CONSIDERED CANNON IN ANY SHAPE OR FORM. Does NOT matter if the prospective story deals with one or more story lines anything that is writing by ANYONE else but the original AUTHOR automatically becomes fanfiction. Its what makes fanfiction so wonderful because you have the right to take one character from one genre mix and mash it with another and let them play out in ways not specific to their genre.

CANNON fanatics have issues since they always state 'that can/didn't happen that way' that's why a new word was coined. FANNON.

So now your FANNON.

Enjoy your story and write it the way you want.

As far as the whole grammer issue...not exactly so much a grammer hound cause i know others definitely are, however even spell checks and stuff like that miss things or you the author writes it specifically that way. I've technically only rejected one story cause of the grammer was that awful and considering just how many fanfictions there are out there? *Shrugs* Ethe...long as you attempt it first before uploading not gonna bitch about it.

Good luck and looking forward to your update.

HINT HINT I'm one of those weird people that likes to read LLLLOOONNNNGGGG chappies though i know it drives others hopping mad.

Amy
Review By [ahindle] • Date [15 Sep 11] • Rating [6 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Worm Theory and Plans" from (Moderator)JoeHundredaire
Review:
Honestly? You need a beta. You seem to lack a grasp of basic points of the English language such as punctuation, capitalization, et cetera. And then there are the problems that no beta can easily fix. I share other reader's distaste with your speed and feel you probably glossed over the Centurions' origin because you personally know there's no way you could actually write it without jumping the shark, so you're ignoring it. Leoben shouldn't have memories of what went on before; even assuming he's being programmed by Xander, he'd have what Xander gave him and neither Xander nor Sam has first-person perspective on Leoben's life that could allow him to say "I remember doing..." about anything. The 'angels' were incapable of interacting with anything physically in the series; either you're forgetting that or blatantly ignoring it to justify more shark jump-worthy scenes. I'm really not even going to get into the events of the last chapter or so because that takes things from 'jumping the shark' to 'jumping over a group of sharks that happen to have laser-guided missiles mounted on their backs' territory. It's ill-conceived, it violates my suspension of disbelief so badly that I feel I should be using a doll to show the judge where you touched it, and on top of that it's not even an original idea in the greater sense.

If you wanna go all tl;dr on this review? It boils down to this: sit down, think shit out before you try and write it, proceed to write a better story, and get someone to beta read that one for you.

EDIT: The fact that I'm a moderator has nothing to do with the fact that it's a poorly-written execution of a lackluster idea.
Comments from author:
first of all they never go over exactly what sam remembers and what he doesn't. they do say that he remembers the earth of the final five. I just went on to say that he remembered the time with the other humanoid models like ellen did. If you go from this view point it's possible he has some memories of Leoben, like ellen remembered Daniel.As to the ability of the angels to interact with the physical world, you need to rewatch the show. there is an instance were angel six holds up gaius.also who the hell says that the kara in the story is an angel and not something else all together. i'll admit that i was going to fast but you're the only one that thinks it's a crime against humanity. The fact that you're a moderator explains why this site is filled with cruel reviews.
Review By [(Moderator)JoeHundredaire] • Date [13 Sep 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Worm Theory and Plans" from superfan
Review:
Here's hoping your muse will get you more of this.

It was awesome.
Review By [superfan] • Date [13 Sep 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Merging of Fates" from VillageOrchid
Review:
Poor Xander. People have overlooked the fact that since Willow as a ghost she had an experience with the mystical veil or even "the other side." I don't know enough about the crossover series to understand why Willow is now seeing ... the ghost of a cylon intelligence??
Review By [VillageOrchid] • Date [12 Sep 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "First Cylon" from VillageOrchid
Review:
Okay. Didn't watch most of that series, but I get the idea that their cylons were replicants, in that they were artificially created copies of humans (perhaps including some organic matter)... but later a few pluses.
Review By [VillageOrchid] • Date [12 Sep 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Trouble Comes in Threes" from (Recent Donor)deitarionSSokolow
Review:
Post-nBSG? I'm amazed I haven't run across anything like this sooner. The jury's still out on whether I like the plot, but I love the concept. :)
Review By [(Recent Donor)deitarionSSokolow] • Date [19 Jul 11] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Trouble Comes in Threes" from rogsaf
Review:
Fan of Buffy and BSG 2003, so this merging is a lot of fun. Please dont stop!
Review By [rogsaf] • Date [3 Apr 11] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Trouble Comes in Threes" from Eureka
Review:
Love the new chapter. Wish I could have caught the original though. I really wish folks wouldn't be haters.
Hope to see the next chapter soon.
Review By [Eureka] • Date [27 Mar 11] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Trouble Comes in Threes" from draconis
Review:
I think the story concept is very imaginative, and I definitely like where it can go, especially now that you've ruled out romantic entanglements (unless they are needed purely as manipulation (like Six manipulating Boltar to achieve a Cylon goal).

I'm quite confused HOW Sam and especially Kara seem to be manifesting both inside AND outside of X's and W's brains. (btw, was it Kara's "ghost" that Willow went as for Halloween?)

You're skipping around a bit, too. Take more time in the story to develop plot elements (not more time between updates). Don't worry about moving the story ahead too quickly. For example, you could have easily spent more time and gone into more detail on Xander's decision and methodology to create Centurions. Even with the knowledge and finances Xander now has, one just doesn't create that kind of physical technology within a few weeks, let alone build the fabrication and assembly processes for it, especially if one is being discrete.

I think getting the bug-man into the picture just now is late. The supernatural would have been impinging on their activities all along.

It's ok to make the story progress in smaller partitioned but much more detailed steps (and by that I don't mean smaller chapters), and take longer periods of in-story time to get things done (e.g. months instead of days or weeks). Expand details. Develop a decent chronology.


Edit 201103270200UCT to respond to author's 1st response.
Thanks for responding. I understand your points, and we do have to suspend a bit of belief in these situations, but here's the crux of the matter...Xander would have to setup deliveries of a LOT of materials, refurbish the facilities, arrange for power, billing, legal filings (to avoid suspicion), etc. A LIVE person has to sign for the delivered goods so it couldn't be left all to the bots. Plus, I really doubt even ONE Centurion could be made even using the most advanced commercially available CPUs (computer "brain" chips) on the planet. He'd have to design custom circuitry and chips AND fabricate them and ALL that would take a considerable time before he could even build the first Centurion. Unless he for example perhaps found and hacked into a super-secret Super Soldier program (hint-hint) and arranged to steal/appropriate some prototype chips/hardware that greatly sped things up in creating the first Centurion. Perhaps using his billions he could have even subverted/bought Dr. Mitchell to do some of the spying and procuring from the project (e.g. Mitchell could be a sort of VERY low-level Boltar in this case).
Comments from author:
Thanks for the comments. You make alot of good points, i'll try to take more time with the story line. The fact that Kara and Sam can effect the real world is in par with the show. Also i believe that all Xander had to do was create one or two centurions by ordering the parts and making them manually and then it would take little to no time to make a manufacture line. Afterall you would have three tireless workers that could work without sleep or breaks for food.
Review By [draconis] • Date [26 Mar 11] • Rating [7 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 4" from sunamee
Review:
This is a great story. I look forward to seeing if Xander will run into Adrian at the career fair. I hope to see another update soon. Too bad Caprica got canceled.
Review By [sunamee] • Date [31 Oct 10] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 4" from Thrawn
Review:
I'm glad to see that you're still going with this. After what happened I was worried you'd abandon this story.

The fossilized cylon is a very interesting twist, I'm looking forward to seeing how things continue.
Review By [Thrawn] • Date [13 Oct 10] • Rating [9 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Chapter 4" from Almadynis
Review:
Okay, dear. I will tell it to you straight.

The bad reviewers are idiots. I have no idea what they are talking about. This is an excellent chapter, well written with an added air of cliff-hanger that is keeping me on the edge of my seat, grinning like a loon.

At first, yes I could see some problems, but all of them were solved as I kept reading. The OOC-ness of Xan's personality, isn't really OOC. He acts a lot like that in the later seasons when he suddenly finds himself caring/protecting potentials. He acted that way with Dawn as well. (For that matter, Spike has the same way about him in relation to Dawn.)

So don't get discouraged, you are doing great. I eagerly look forward to learning who Adrian and the new doctor are, as well as what the maker of the Apptitude Test was thinking when they wrote it. And how the new Cylons will grow and change without the bad influence of One.

Another secret? I've only watched the first episode of Battlestar Galactica. My dad is the fanatic, not me. And you are writing well enough, that not only can I follow the storyline, but I understand it. (You would not believe the hours of Wiki that have gone into some other stories. This is a refreshing change.)

You are a wonderful author. Don't let anyone tell you differently.
Review By [Almadynis] • Date [13 Oct 10] • Rating [9 out of 10]
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