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The Vessel

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Review of chapter "Lightning Charged Blood" from yuiop
Review:
omg! Love it, can't wait for more!
Review By [yuiop] • Date [6 Apr 12] • Rating [10 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Welcome to Wacky-Land!" from Alkeni
Review:
French doesn't exist in the time of Caesar. Gaullic would not be understandable to someone who knew only French.

Spike would be far more likely to be able to understand Latin, given when he was born.
Comments from author:
I realized this shortly after writing the chapter. I was hoping I could sneak that in on you guys but I discounted the intelligence of the community and yourself. I shan't make such an error again.

The issue is corrected.
Review By [Alkeni] • Date [2 Apr 12] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Lightning Charged Blood" from Gideon
Review:
Interesting story. I was expecting Illyria to take more of an active role in shaping the future, rather than just empowering Spike and tossing him backwards. If he has any sense at all he will make sure she stays asleep, among other things :)
Methos stuck me as a bit too heroic and noble in this chapter too. I remember him as being concerned with his own survival far above any concerns of fairness or chivalry, but I guess he could be a bit different back that far. Also if you are going back to Roman times you realise that there was no French language to speak, right? Like the other romance languages it is primarily descended from Latin, over hundreds of years. Fair enough if you want to empower Spike with the gift of translation though. It is no fun if we readers can't understand what anyone is saying :)
I agree that you need a beta reader though, there are a lot of misspelt words as well as misplaced words both grammatically and in regards to meaning. Try an online dictionary if you are not sure if you have the word you want to use, many similar words have quite different meanings. This last chapter was a bit better though.
Comments from author:
Oh I know, Methos at heart is out to watch numero uno. He's a survivalist and opprotunist in most scenarios but I had to get him into the position and job title he is holding somehow for some other components to work down the line. Now I just have to give him a backstory to explain his current job title - it'll be fun!

Also, I now have a beta reader in Nightcrawlerlover - so we should be off to the races. I'll have a new chapter up tomorrow.
Review By [Gideon] • Date [2 Apr 12] • Rating [7 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Welcome to Wacky-Land!" from CrystalBlaze
Review:
Methos.

Oh, felching heck!

For that matter, Spike's upgrades may very well be the equivalent of what happens if you manage to Quicken a vampire. (Has he even noticed he was active until night? He might be thinking this is like Pylea, but I suspect he's recieved the benison of the Gem of Amara on top of his other improvements.)
Comments from author:
The issue is corrected - it's now a given at the end of Chapter One that she indeed embued him with the power of the sunlight - keep in mind, the first two chapters of this story were actually written many years ago and now I'm doing revision work and continuing the story.

I'd like to think I'm a much better writer now. And as I go along, I'll revision the story with proper edits as they're brought up so in the future, it's as easy to read as it can be.
Review By [CrystalBlaze] • Date [7 Nov 09] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Prologue: All Our Heroes Are Gone" from BrinLondofive
Review:
Great story so far.
Only one nitpick, having to do with mistaken homonyms-
a plain is a flat grassland. When talking about realities and other levels of existence,
the proper term is "plane" (which is where the Wright brothers came up with the term aeroplane,
which today we cal an "airplane" or simply "plane".)
Comments from author:
Thank you - you're kind of my case in point that I need a solid Beta-reader! lol.

I tend to make these mistakes because I've never had any formal writing training nor schooling. Hopefully it isn't a horrible impediment when reading the story itself but I thank you very much - I can avoid the wrongful usage of the term from now on!

Thank you!
Review By [BrinLondofive] • Date [7 Nov 09] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Prologue: All Our Heroes Are Gone" from Blkwoman
Review:
But, if he kills the Master, then there is no Darla, Angelus, Dru or him.
Comments from author:
Oh, I know... just using the example as a hypothetical.

Thank you again, though.

I'll tell you what - I posted this up over on Fanfiction.net, thinking it was the 'larger' site.

I've noticed I have about 8x the amount of hits on this story an exactly 5x(sad, to say) the amount of reviews here, then at ff.net.

People here are awesome as are all of you!
Review By [Blkwoman] • Date [7 Nov 09] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Prologue: All Our Heroes Are Gone" from Blkwoman
Review:
Seems like it will be a powerful story has the work continues. I understand sending Spike back in time, but why that far back? Thinking of getting to Marcus Aurelius or the Master?
Comments from author:
Well, I'm actually considering several things right now. One of the perks of sending him that much backward in time allows him to do... well, anything really. I can have Spike sit out thousands of years, growing in strength and wisdom or I can have him with many other powers, do... well practically anything. One of the great things about a plot device such as time travel is that opens up practically every door you can imagine.

Things like even killing The Master, before he rises to power or before he perhaps is even born, become options to a degree, plausibly. Right now, I just figured that it's something that is going to allow Spike to mesh with Methos, whom is an absolutely incredible find - yet I wouldn't want to just whisk him away from the next few eons, would I?

No, wonderful things are in store for our pair and fear not, this fic is going to heavily be a buddy-buddy fic. Not sure of any romantic pairings at this time - if I'm even sure I'll go that route. Major thing here though is - with the time travel, mostly - is that Spike is now beholden to the ability to literally change the world - almost to his imagining.

Only thing is - in MY alternate and extravagant universe, the butterfly effect, is well enforced.

It's going to be an ultimate journey for Spike, it's going to be merciless, yet I hope to get engrained into his character further and make it a great study of how different events can change a person yet there are certain baser elements that simply can't be altered. I want to watch an evolution of these characters - not a desecration. So if anyone happens to see something where they feel I'm going that route, let me know. I love the positive feedback yet feedback in all forms helps craft a greater story for the collective.

Well, there's my little rant - in closing though, thank you very much.

Also, hopefully no one missed a little tidbit I threw in there ----

"Yet as eyelashes flutter and falter, as sunlight gently peels them back, this cacophony of nuance unfolds into something much more pragmatic and tangible."

Didn't touch upon because I wanted it to be very subtle - looking back, I think it may have been too subtle. It will have some bearing as to how he approaches things in the future.
Review By [Blkwoman] • Date [7 Nov 09] • Rating [8 out of 10]
Review of chapter "Prologue: All Our Heroes Are Gone" from maikku
Review:
Very powerful beginning to the story. I just have to wait till the next chapter to see witch way story will go.
Comments from author:
Hey, as is custom with me - I try to thank anybody who leaves some kind words for me - so alas, here we go.

Thankya's sir, I appreciate it. I got the second chapter up, it really has nice soilid-build to it near the ending as we now start to delve into the plot.

Any feedback is appreciated, I'm a rookie and I'm hoping to escape any of the trappings that come along with that fact.

Thank you, again.
Review By [maikku] • Date [7 Nov 09] • Not Rated
Review of chapter "Prologue: All Our Heroes Are Gone" from feekh
Review:
Oh wow! Dances with glee.
I love this. The descriptions are visceral and intense and the whole thing is just beautiful.
Comments from author:
That is absolutely wonderful feedback! Were you able to get to that second chapter, yet? I'm moving cautiously as this is my first fic.

I checked your stuff out, by the way. You've got great stuff yourself. I appreciate the comments - however, do you perhaps yourself know of any beta readers that might be available? Looking for someone to help me with any structural and/or grammatical errors I'm sure are beginning to pile up.

In closing though - thank you for the kind words!
Review By [feekh] • Date [7 Nov 09] • Rating [10 out of 10]
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